learning2grow Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Was dating/in a relationship with a guy my age for a few months and feelings were strong. We got in an argument and I said some things that were not very nice. I wrote an apology letter and when I dropped it off he said we should talk and I replied that I wasn't there for that (even though I secretly hoped we would) and said you can read the letter if you want to, but it is up to you. He said he would call and I said you don't have to. Next morning I texted him to say, "I wasn't shutting you out as far as talking, I just wanted you to read the letter and then decide. I would love to talk, but understand and respect you may not want to". Another day has passed and nothing. Could he still be thinking? Or is that just it? So torn that he couldn't even say thanks.
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 You expect this guy to say thanks...for you writing an apology letter? Lol. Well, that is asking for too much. He might be thinking about it or not, who knows? I'd say after a week, it is a good chance he has dropped you. I'd move on.
MidwestUSA Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I said you can read the letter if you want to, but it is up to you. He said he would call and I said you don't have to. I would love to talk, but understand and respect you may not want to". So torn that he couldn't even say thanks. THREE times you let him know he need not respond. But you expect him to do the opposite. Is it any wonder men can't figure women out? They don't react based on what we're 'secretly hoping' they will do. Those not very nice things you said to him can't be taken back. Let this one go.
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 He was trying to talk & work things out. You hid behind a letter, then sent mixed messages. You secretly wanted to talk but initially told him he didn't have to. He may be sick of mixed messages & be thinking you're not worth the effort. 1
devilish innocent Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) You're probably sounding very different to him than you intended to. There was a study that found most people are absolutely terrible at reading people's tone of voice in written communication. And when you're limiting your voice-to-voice communication to a few sentences, that only makes everything worse. I know you think you're being nice by letting him avoid "a talk". But he's likely reading it as you'd already made up that anything he has to say isn't worth listening to. Also, that last text you sent sounds dangerously close to saying, "I've been asking to talk. It's you that's been avoiding the conversation." And since you weren't willing to talk before, there's a good chance he thinks you're lying about actually wanting to talk now. That you're just doing it as a way to try to get him back. This is exactly why you need to talk in person or at least on the phone, as opposed to letters and text messages. A lot of people won't bother dating anybody who will only resolve arguments through texts, and he may be one of those people. Edited December 18, 2013 by devilish innocent
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