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Dating vs. hanging out?


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Posted

I have being seeing a woman I met online for about a month who has selected the "looking for new friends" option. After several dates she has revealed one reason for that selection is that she plans to graduate within two years and move on to a new town.

 

We have been on several "dates" of which I have paid for the majority, but she has treated me once and paid for herself on another occasion. Neither of us has referred to anything as a date and she often suggests we "hang out" after going out. The term dating has only been used once, when she mentioned that she had told her mother we were dating. We have walked hand-in-hand on the past three dates and kissed goodbye.

 

Also, communication with her is often strained even between "dates" as she never answers her phone for anyone unless it's important. And then she texts me everyday either wishing me a good day or asking how it went. That and the occasional 2 AM text when she comes home from being out with friends.

 

I am a fairly shy, anxious, oblivious, and unexperienced male in my mid-20's so I am wondering if this is just casual dating on her part or if there is potential for a relationship?

 

The other question I have deals with her use of the dating sites. The site allows you to view profiles without logging in and I have seen that see logs almost every day. She has not changed any of her profile information recently, but just added new pictures today. Does this change things? How does one deal with this issue?

 

I would like to be friends with her regardless, but I would ideally like to be exclusive with her. Please advise.

Posted

Since you are already spending time alone together, I think you shouldn't get hung up on the labels. Just keep doing what you are doing for now.

Posted

That, my friend, is definitely dating. Haha. I've asked a similar question before, but my situation was a lot more ambiguous. I mean, you guys hold hands, exchanged kisses, and she has even told other people about it.

 

As for your situation, I think you just talk to her about it in person. You should just be open and honest, and tell her why you are uncomfortable with her using dating sites and you want to be the only person that is seeing her.

 

Sometimes, you just have to man up, and be confident and ask women for a straight answer. You need to get past the games and see if she's really into you.

 

Just FYI, usually when relationships go sour, you can't become friends again. But I think the upside is well worth it. Good luck.

  • Author
Posted
Since you are already spending time alone together, I think you shouldn't get hung up on the labels. Just keep doing what you are doing for now.

 

Thanks, I am somewhat of a worrier and do need to put more stock into the positives of my interactions with her.

  • Author
Posted
That, my friend, is definitely dating. Haha. I've asked a similar question before, but my situation was a lot more ambiguous. I mean, you guys hold hands, exchanged kisses, and she has even told other people about it.

 

As for your situation, I think you just talk to her about it in person. You should just be open and honest, and tell her why you are uncomfortable with her using dating sites and you want to be the only person that is seeing her.

 

Sometimes, you just have to man up, and be confident and ask women for a straight answer. You need to get past the games and see if she's really into you.

 

Just FYI, usually when relationships go sour, you can't become friends again. But I think the upside is well worth it. Good luck.

 

Thanks for the advice. I am very oblivious to any signals or the significance of certain things in dating. We have an extended break coming up so I should probably talk to her soon to at least get a little clarification.

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