Relationship with student

December 20, 2013

Honest post?! You've got to be kidding me. The OP is putting the blame of her sexual attraction to her student...ON HER STUDENT! If anything, her statement illustrates her lack of self-control and refusal to take responsibility for her own actions.

OP, you really need to get a grip on reality. No one, absolutely no one can make you do things that you usually wouldn't do. Only you are responsible for what you choose to do and how you choose to do it. You are 23 years old.

And by the way, asking your student to leave school grounds to babysit for you -- is just not possible, and if you tried that at a school here in the states, you wouldn't get away with it. And the student's parents would be notified.

Nice try OP, but you get no free passes when you're in the role of an educator who is responsible for creating a safe classroom environment for all students. Your excuse that your student tripped you up is pretty pathetic.

The fact that you refuse to take responsibility for your actions as seen in your statement above, is proof that you are not a responsible adult nor should you be allowed to be in charge of young adults.

I'm sure you'll find yourself in more compromising situations with students and will just rely on the "this student and this situation made me do it."

In Canada we treat 18 year olds like adults, they don't need to tell they're parents when and if they are leaving the school as they don't have to legally be there in the first place.

December 20, 2013

She's from my country?? That's it, I'm emigrating.

December 20, 2013

Honest post?! You've got to be kidding me. The OP is putting the blame of her sexual attraction to her student...ON HER STUDENT! If anything, her statement illustrates her lack of self-control and refusal to take responsibility for her own actions.

you really need to get a grip on reality.

YOU, writergal, are clearly the one who needs to get a grip on the reality written right in front of you.

There was no "blame" attributed to the student in the post that I quoted.

I could say I was "tripped up" by Miss February and that wouldn't even entail Miss February knowing I exist, let alone her playing any sort of an active (let alone blame-ridden) role in my having been tripped-up.

December 20, 2013

Surprisingly her parents are "okay" with it.

Interesting that you are surprised. Sounds like even you know that they shouldn't "be OK with it..."

I'm actually not surprised, because I suspect they don't have the whole picture. If you tell me that they know: (a) that she's attracted to you, (b) that you are attracted to her, © that you encouraged her by communicating your attraction to her, and (d) that you asked her to take time out of school to watch your child just before you planned to set things straight, knowing it would hurt her - and after being aware of all that, then they're still "OK with it", then you can use the word "surprisingly."

Of course I have concern for her which is why I am so conflicted. I really want to there for her but everyone is saying I should break contact with her. I feel as if it's too late to just break it off because she sees me as the only one she can trust. If she ever comes to me and she needs me I will have an incredibly hard time saying no.

And that's exactly the isolation I talked about earlier. You've backed her into a corner where she is isolated and you are in the role of both her tormentor and her only possible "savior." That is such an awful thing to do to someone. You may or may not have done it intentionally, or even subconsciously to manipulate her from your position of power - I won't judge. The result, however, is cruel - and that doesn't hinge on whether she happens to be a bit over or under age 18.

December 20, 2013

Hey, I'm not gonna judge you

I recently learned the hard way, that sometimes we can fall for someone who we are not supposed to.

Like younger than us or older or whatever

However, your job and reputation on the line here

This can affect your career and follow you where ever you go

This could cause you a scandal

because society is not merciful when it comes to such situation

So, run away when you still can.

End it and if it's meant to be, you'll be together in another life or in your case in other year or so

Edited December 20, 2013 by Noproblem

December 20, 2013

Interesting that you are surprised. Sounds like even you know that they shouldn't "be OK with it..."

I'm actually not surprised, because I suspect they don't have the whole picture. If you tell me that they know: (a) that she's attracted to you, (b) that you are attracted to her, © that you encouraged her by communicating your attraction to her, and (d) that you asked her to take time out of school to watch your child just before you planned to set things straight, knowing it would hurt her - and after being aware of all that, then they're still "OK with it", then you can use the word "surprisingly."

And that's exactly the isolation I talked about earlier. You've backed her into a corner where she is isolated and you are in the role of both her tormentor and her only possible "savior." That is such an awful thing to do to someone. You may or may not have done it intentionally, or even subconsciously to manipulate her from your position of power - I won't judge. The result, however, is cruel - and that doesn't hinge on whether she happens to be a bit over or under age 18.

She called me, I ignored her call and texted her.

Me: You can't call me, Im sorry.

Me: Is it important

Student: I told my parents...

Me: Well what did you tell them?

Student: Everything

Me: like?

Student: Are you mad at me?

Me: Of course not, just tell me

Student: I told them that we flirted, that I like you and you like me. Umm

oh yeah and that I left school to babysit for you and ........ yeah I basically just talked about that for 30 minutes.

Me: Are they mad?

Student: They got mad for you asking me to leave school but I told them what happened to your mom and they felt better about it. Other than that they are cool about it but they say I shouldn't do anything while I am a student and not to do anything directly after graduation either.

Student: and they want to meet you after I graduate

Me: wow I didn't think they would take it so well

Student: They're really chill. Its not like you're 50 and already ****ed me.

Me: Don't tell me things like that

Student: sorry

Me: mhhm... well merry Christmas and I guess I'll see you next year

Student: yeah you too bye babe

So her parents do pretty much know.

December 20, 2013

Hi,

I married my former teacher. My two cents:

1. All flirting needs to cease NOW. Then, once she graduates, let her come to you. Otherwise, it'll be misconstrued.

2. If you still plan on being there for her, always, always, ALWAYS be somewhere in public or have a small group. Because of the rumors, you need to never be alone with her.

It has to wait. She has to come to you after everything. She has to be the one in control of this after graduation. As a student who has been somewhere similar, you do not want her to feel like you're interested in her now. I'm married to him now, but had he been flirty, I would forever wonder if he was still capable of developing those feelings for a current student. It would have destroyed our current foundation of trust.

There would have been nothing he could say to make me trust him otherwise.

She's a teenaged girl, she might try to flirt or be inappropriate. You need to gently but firmly redirect her.

Be courteous and professional, keep your distance, and let her come to you after graduation. If it's meant to be, it will work out.

You also should talk to someone you trust in admin about the rumors.. But leave out your feelings. If you are proactive about shutting down the rumors and follow this advice, you'll end up in a more job secure position.

It just has to wait.

December 20, 2013

In Canada we treat 18 year olds like adults, they don't need to tell they're parents when and if they are leaving the school as they don't have to legally be there in the first place.

So why was teacher Leslie Merlino in Canada placed on the sex offender registry for dating an 18 year old student and never allowed to teach again?

'Tragic' affair ends teacher's career | Toronto Star

December 20, 2013

So why was teacher Leslie Merlino in Canada placed on the sex offender registry for dating an 18 year old student and never allowed to teach again?

'Tragic' affair ends teacher's career | Toronto Star

Because the girl was not yet 18 when the affair started.

December 20, 2013

She called me, I ignored her call and texted her.

Me: You can't call me, Im sorry.
Me: Is it important

Student: I told my parents...

Me: Well what did you tell them?

Student: Everything

Me: like?

Student: Are you mad at me?

Me: Of course not, just tell me

Student: I told them that we flirted, that I like you and you like me. Umm
oh yeah and that I left school to babysit for you and ........ yeah I basically just talked about that for 30 minutes.

Me: Are they mad?

Student: They got mad for you asking me to leave school but I told them what happened to your mom and they felt better about it. Other than that they are cool about it but they say I shouldn't do anything while I am a student and not to do anything directly after graduation either.
Student: and they want to meet you after I graduate

Me: wow I didn't think they would take it so well

Student: They're really chill. Its not like you're 50 and already ****ed me.

Me: Don't tell me things like that

Student: sorry

Me: mhhm... well merry Christmas and I guess I'll see you next year

Student: yeah you too bye babe

So her parents do pretty much know.

Now I know this whole thread is fake. The first clue that you text with your student in a school of supposedly 4,000 other students. And teachers are not allowed here to have personal communication with their students via texts or calls, period. So there's that. The next clue: The student texts you that her parents look forward to meeting you after her graduation. Fake! Um, the parents would have already met you by now in student-teacher conferences. Those happen for students even their last year of high school. You would have held a beginning of the year parent-teacher orientation night as well, where parents come to their students classrooms to sit and meet the teacher briefly, before moving on to the next classroom of another teacher that their student takes a class from. Even in Canada high schools. And the final clue that this whole thread is fake: how convenient that the student texted you just now about how her parents gave her advice not to do anything with you right now while she's a student, or directly after graduation and that they supposedly approve. I mean, c'mon. Obviously SO FAKE!

First of all, no teenager texts are THAT lengthy or mature sounding. Several of my cousins are teens so I know this to be true about the way teens speak to each other via text or to adults (at least with me their cousin). Where's the text-speak?

I call "bogus" on this whole thread now b/c this text is supposedly a nice wrapped-up conclusion to the whole teacher-dating-student-saga.

50 Shades of B.S. (this thread is)

Edited December 20, 2013 by writergal

December 20, 2013

Now I know this whole thread is fake. The first clue that you text with your student in a school of supposedly 4,000 other students. And teachers are not allowed here to have personal communication with their students via texts or calls, period. So there's that. The next clue: The student texts you that her parents look forward to meeting you after her graduation. Fake! Um, the parents would have already met you by now in student-teacher conferences. Those happen for students even their last year of high school. You would have held a beginning of the year parent-teacher orientation night as well, where parents come to their students classrooms to sit and meet the teacher briefly, before moving on to the next classroom of another teacher that their student takes a class from. Even in Canada high schools. And the final clue that this whole thread is fake: how convenient that the student texted you just now about how her parents gave her advice not to do anything with you right now while she's a student, or directly after graduation and that they supposedly approve. I mean, c'mon. Obviously SO FAKE!

First of all, no teenager texts are THAT lengthy or mature sounding. Several of my cousins are teens so I know this to be true about the way teens speak to each other via text or to adults (at least with me their cousin). Where's the text-speak?

I call "bogus" on this whole thread now b/c this text is supposedly a nice wrapped-up conclusion to the whole teacher-dating-student-saga.

50 Shades of B.S. (this thread is)

Along with the use of the word babe. That was a red flag for me.

December 20, 2013

Along with the use of the word babe. That was a red flag for me.

Yep!! That sealed the red flag-a-thon for me.

December 20, 2013

Now I know this whole thread is fake. The first clue that you text with your student in a school of supposedly 4,000 other students. And teachers are not allowed here to have personal communication with their students via texts or calls, period. So there's that. The next clue: The student texts you that her parents look forward to meeting you after her graduation. Fake! Um, the parents would have already met you by now in student-teacher conferences. Those happen for students even their last year of high school. You would have held a beginning of the year parent-teacher orientation night as well, where parents come to their students classrooms to sit and meet the teacher briefly, before moving on to the next classroom of another teacher that their student takes a class from. Even in Canada high schools. And the final clue that this whole thread is fake: how convenient that the student texted you just now about how her parents gave her advice not to do anything with you right now while she's a student, or directly after graduation and that they supposedly approve. I mean, c'mon. Obviously SO FAKE!

First of all, no teenager texts are THAT lengthy or mature sounding. Several of my cousins are teens so I know this to be true about the way teens speak to each other via text or to adults (at least with me their cousin). Where's the text-speak?

I call "bogus" on this whole thread now b/c this text is supposedly a nice wrapped-up conclusion to the whole teacher-dating-student-saga.

50 Shades of B.S. (this thread is)

How does texting a student when i teach at a large school have anything to do with anything?!

Yes we have conferences with students parents before report cards get out IF the parent decides to go, which some don't.

Do you really think I go around telling everyone that I am texting a student? People do things they are not allowed to do all the time.

I can't believe you actually think that those texts were lengthy and mature!

Im surprised that you actually think that this situation us fake over such things that if you just think about, will soon make sense.

December 20, 2013

Along with the use of the word babe. That was a red flag for me.

She does it to wind me up.

December 20, 2013

No, it's fake thread because you left out a lot of important details (but you know that). Details like: Thinking about the consequences of what you supposedly put your female student through how how that has effected her interactions with you since she babysat for you. If anything the text from her parents would have come after that babysitting episode since you pulled her out of school to babysit for you. Which would never fly in any school system even in Cananda where you supposedly are. There is NO WAY she would just conveniently text you NOW, to wrap things up nicely and would call you "babe" to wind you up if she's emotionally shattered or angry at you for rebuffing her. Your whole story has flaws and holes in it. I wasted pages of good rants for what I thought was a good cause. Now I realize it was all for nothing. There's just nothing you OP can write that will convince me anything you've said here is true. Nothing.

December 20, 2013

Because the girl was not yet 18 when the affair started.

It was still considered professional misconduct and she lost her teaching certificate because of it. I don't see that there is much difference.

December 20, 2013

No, it's fake thread because you left out a lot of important details (but you know that). Details like: Thinking about the consequences of what you supposedly put your female student through how how that has effected her interactions with you since she babysat for you. If anything the text from her parents would have come after that babysitting episode since you pulled her out of school to babysit for you. Which would never fly in any school system even in Cananda where you supposedly are. There is NO WAY she would just conveniently text you NOW, to wrap things up nicely and would call you "babe" to wind you up if she's emotionally shattered or angry at you for rebuffing her. Your whole story has flaws and holes in it. I wasted pages of good rants for what I thought was a good cause. Now I realize it was all for nothing. There's just nothing you OP can write that will convince me anything you've said here is true. Nothing.

You are assuming that she still angry with me and you are also assuming that anyone besides her and now her parents know that she left school to babysit. She didn't go to the office and say "My tech teacher just needs me to babysit". You are forgetting that this is not all done in the open, sure there are rumours but nobody truly knows the situation. Its all secret.

December 20, 2013

You are assuming that she still angry with me and you are also assuming that anyone besides her and now her parents know that she left school to babysit. She didn't go to the office and say "My tech teacher just needs me to babysit". You are forgetting that this is not all done in the open, sure there are rumours but nobody truly knows the situation. Its all secret.

Except for you said she had to sign out in the office. You just unraveled your story.

My son is sick so I was at home with him when I got the call. I then called the student to ask if she could take care of him while I went to help my mom. She was allowed to leave without anyone else's permission as long as she signs out with the office first.

She is still my student and if she needs help with homework then I will help her. I only have her until the end of January anyway. This whole situation is rather frustrating so I am done planning on what to do and I'll just "go with the flow" from now on.

December 20, 2013

Except for you said she had to sign out in the office. You just unraveled your story.

I said she didn't go to the office and say she was babysitting! Not that she didn't go to the office at all, that would be an unexcused absence.

December 20, 2013

I said she didn't go to the office and say she was babysitting! Not that she didn't go to the office at all, that would be an unexcused absence.

Uh-uh, okay. If you're a homosexual female having a relationship with one of her students, then I'm Jay-Z. Done with this so amazingly fake thread.

December 20, 2013

You are assuming that she still angry with me and you are also assuming that anyone besides her and now her parents know that she left school to babysit. She didn't go to the office and say "My tech teacher just needs me to babysit". You are forgetting that this is not all done in the open, sure there are rumours but nobody truly knows the situation. Its all secret.

How secret could it be if you are writing about it on the internet? And you are texting her personal cell phone. You have left quite a trail of evidence for someone who thinks "Its all secret".

December 20, 2013

Uh-uh, okay. If you're a homosexual female having a relationship with one of her students, then I'm Jay-Z. Done with this so amazingly fake thread.

You obviously didn't read it as I wrote it. It doesn't even matter if anyone thinks this situation is fake. I already resolved my issue a while ago, Im just getting into arguments with people who I will never meet and Im just responding our of frustration.

December 20, 2013

How secret could it be if you are writing about it on the internet? And you are texting her personal cell phone. You have left quite a trail of evidence for someone who thinks "Its all secret".

Anonymity and hopefully no one will have a reason to check her phone.

December 20, 2013

you poor silly naive person. It's pretty much NEVER "all secret" Look I had a relationship with my sociopath ex who was a senior blackbelt in my karate dojo. Kept it secret or so we thought. But - they knew. My classmates and my karate teachers. And you said there are already rumors. Nothing is "all secret" in these cases.

December 20, 2013

you poor silly naive person. It's pretty much NEVER "all secret" Look I had a relationship with my sociopath ex who was a senior blackbelt in my karate dojo. Kept it secret or so we thought. But - they knew. My classmates and my karate teachers. And you said there are already rumors. Nothing is "all secret" in these cases.

If anyone truly thought something was going on I would of been fired by now. That's the difference.

Sign In

Relationship with student

Recommended Posts

Karen875

Blade96

SincereOnlineGuy

Trimmer

Noproblem

Karen875

Arasae

nittygritty

MidwestUSA

writergal

manders_01

writergal

Karen875

Karen875

writergal

nittygritty

Karen875

manders_01

Karen875

manders_01

nittygritty

Karen875

Karen875

Blade96

Karen875

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...