pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Not sure what I'm putting on hold? I'm dating other people. He's the one not seeing anyone else. I am letting him hurt me though, and it seems like he isn't going to stop. Because you're only dating those guys because you think that means you're not waiting around. If you actually weren't waiting around, you'd not speak to him anymore. 2
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 Stupidly I read the emails my ex sent me after I left him to go home to Canada. He sent quite a few and I had pretty much forgotten about the contents. He said he didn't want to be a drifter alone, that traveling was meaningless with out me by his side, he admitted he was emotionally withholding and that I had transformed him for the better. He even said he wanted to come to my home tone and marry me and have children. He's so distant and cold now and is going to Ecuador. I may never see him again. I only left him cause I was too chicken to hitchhike across the country. I felt so sure he'd be back.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I kinda just want to forward them to him so he's forced to read them again.
jphcbpa Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I deleted everything...emails, photos, threw away everything that reminded me of her or us.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I am struggling to accept that we are really broken up. I promised him I would meet him wherever he decided to settle, and we email and talk still. But he's gotten over me it seems and after struggling with it at first he's decided he wants to sleep under bridges forever and be homeless. How do you talk someone out of that?
jphcbpa Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I am struggling to accept that we are really broken up. I promised him I would meet him wherever he decided to settle, and we email and talk still. But he's gotten over me it seems and after struggling with it at first he's decided he wants to sleep under bridges forever and be homeless. How do you talk someone out of that? you don't. if that is what he wants, let him have it. you decide what you want and take care of you.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Well I want to go to Vancouver so I am going to that with or with out him. I'm sleeping with a guy driving that way, when his mental health improves. Got some friends who will split on a place. Its expensive though so I am gonna work my ass off.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 He wants to talk on the phone one more time before he crosses into Mexico. Then it's legit no contact. He only plans to stay two months but then he's going back to San Fran supposedly. I have a weird feeling he'll go back to Montreal though. I have a good job here so I can't bail just yet but once I make some money I'm due for a road trip west. Toronto just reminds me of him
RDawg Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 You should write a book. This is a really tragic story. Or when he eventually gives up on his drifter lifestyle and comes back to you you guys could write the book together in alternating chapters: he could write a chapter of what he was experiencing and then you could do the next one saying what was happening in your life and what you were feeling. Hope you're keeping journals that you can refer to.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 We are both into writing and poetry, surprise. I think we both love the over wrought, tragic nature of our relationship, even though it hurts. He keeps a blog that he has no idea I read ( ok salkerish but I goggled his email) He said he loved me in it months before he told me. After the break up he posted quiet a but about his anguish and belief that I left him for another man (I didn't). He defends me against people who comment saying I'm a slut etc He's always complaining on there how boring and uninspiring his trip is why won't he come back?! I want tell him I didn't leave him for anyone else
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 But he hasn't posted about me in a long tone so I guess he's forgetting about me
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 31, 2014 Author Posted January 31, 2014 A bit of hope!!?! I spoke with him on the phone and he explained that he is going to Mexico because he has overstayed his welcome in the United States and if he is caught he might end up in a immigration detention center or banned from the u.s forever. He hasn't been keen in hitch hiking and słeeping in a tent through the less warm parts of the states to get to canada either. So he's going to hang out in Mexico for two months untill he can legally reenter the u.s then make his way back to Toronto!! He said he can't wait to see me and he got a little emotional when I said I wanted him to live with me in my nice new apartment, because he had asked me to get a place with him earlier but I wasn't ready. We'll see how it goes and if he actually shows up and if he stays. He still wants to go to b.c but maybe this time I'll go with him.
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