youaremysunshine Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 So basically my ex decided he wanted to become a hitch-hiking train hopping ho Bo and travel all over the states. He begged me to come and even cried at our parting but I couldn't. I do think it would be cool and I admire him but I'm not really cut out for life on the road. He said this means the end of our relationship because he is NEVER coming back. It sounds extreme. I guess I'm counting on him coming back and us getting back together, emotionally I haven't come to terms with the fact I will never seem him again. I offered many times to meet him in British Colombia because I have family there, but he is vague on his plans. I email him regularly and it's soooo unhealthy because he's out there getting over me and I'm still hung up on him. He often is outright annoyed by me and I'm just pushing him away
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Just sent him a long crazy email, guuuuh
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 I'm feeling really over whelmed and desperate
Zahara Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 He isn't out there getting over you, he's busy living his life. The last thing he wants to do be tied to all this emotional mess. He was clear that if you won't go with him, it's over. Give that to him and move on. He isn't even wanting to meet you in BC and is being vague. Doesn't that tell you how much of a priority you are? You are choosing to chase someone that isn't quite giving a rat's behind at to whether you're there with him or not. If you can't live the life he wants and vice versa, you two are not compatible and have very different views of what you want the future to be. You have to come to terms with that. 2
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 I wish I would have gone, it must be an adventure. but I have commitments to my family and school and work. I admire him for doing it, but it's a lot to ask. I hate that I have to live with the what ifs and regrets. He was really sad I couldn't go. I was his first everything and he loved me. For a long while he really wanted me to meet up with me but now he's moved on. I keep hoping he will come back. I mean he can't work in the u.s ( we are Canadians) and he didn't have much money to begin with. I can't believe that he wants to live outside the rest of his life.
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 I need some closure. He won't say definitely that he doesn't want to meet in the spring. He's just being evasive, probably because he is just drifting and has no plans on top of him just not caring. He has told me he is very lonely, being homeless. I think that's why he continues to talk to me The last time I laid eyes on him I swore I would meet him in golden, b.c in the spring, I still want too.
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 20, 2013 Author Posted December 20, 2013 Also I wouldn't call pan handling all day so he can call me from a pay phone "living his life" I'm living mine, I got a job in my field finally and a better apartment and I still hang out with my friends and I dated a ph.d student who said he loved me but I can't get over this stupid guy! I had to break it off. He was all romantic and eager to be reunited with me until I told him about the other guy which is b.s because we agreed we'd date other people but clearly it's easier for me because he lives under an overpass and goes days on end without speaking to anyone
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 I'm not going to contact me until he says he wants to see me again. He says he misses me, and he is struggling to survive (serve stomach problems due to eating out of dumpsters and he can't go to a hospital in the u.s). If/when he comes back he will let me know if he wants to see me
seekingpeaceinlove Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Eating out of dumpsters? Omg. Smart girl you are for not joining him. Let him go. He'd rather suffer severe stomach problems, pan handle and eat out of dumpsters than stay and live a life with you. Let him go live his hobo dreams and you must move on with yours. I'm not going to contact me until he says he wants to see me again. He says he misses me, and he is struggling to survive (serve stomach problems due to eating out of dumpsters and he can't go to a hospital in the u.s). If/when he comes back he will let me know if he wants to see me
seekingpeaceinlove Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 Me thinks you feel sorry for him and don't want to abandon him while he's "lonley" and struggling to survive. Remember, he CHOSE this lifestyle.
Author youaremysunshine Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 I can't help but think hey, his lifestyle is not sustainable, someday he will have had enough. I do know he was very wounded parting from me, his first intimate companion
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 My ex and I broke up this summer when he decided to drop out of society and live a a traveling hobo forever apparently, eating out of dumpsters and hopping trains. He begged my to come and cried like crazy when I wouldn't, he still says he can't forgive me for choosing to stay. He sent me this today: I am missing you at the moment, maybe just because I am alone. when I landed in California it was a really nice summery late afternoon, the most romantic time of the year in my oppinion. Do you think he will come back? Do you think he still loves me? We Hadn't spoken in more than a week after arguing about social vs lifestyle anarchism.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 By the way it's not like him at all to say he's missing me. Very emotionally closed fellow.
keepontruckin Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 You cool with eating out of dumpsters and hopping the freight train to get around?
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 No, I'm really not. I keep hoping he'll get tired of it and come back. It's been five months.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Well he told me he's planning on going to Vancouver soon, so I guess I'll see him again
flightplan Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 ok, just my two cents... but if you were my daughter or sister, I would ask you what in the hell do you think you're doing? Are you waiting for him to change? Good luck with that. Move on with your life and if you want to pursue a relationship, try doing it with someone who has goals, dreams and ambitions. Nothing against the dude, he's doing what he wants... but seriously, is this what you're going to settle for?
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 Well he does have goals dreams and ambitions. His dream was to see America and to learn to survive on the road. He's doing it, and he's not the first young man to romanticize hitchhiking and sleeping unde the the stars. He's a poet, you know how they are. It's not my dream though, and I think he's finding the reality rather harsh. I'm doing what I need to feel good, that means doing work that is meaningful to me, being near the people I care about and supporting myself. Anyway basically I hope he has he fill of this lifestyle and comes home, or settles in Vancouver. He's a roofer and a bricklayer so he'll be able to find work either place. But I have no idea if we can ever be together again
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 But yeah, goes to show once you pull away they always try to pull you back
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 Well after PROMISING to meet me in van, he decided to go to Gautamala. My hear hurts deeply now
Simon Phoenix Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 You're a fool for keeping up hope for this man. I mean, he's living life on his terms and you are sitting there like a codependent stick in the mud delaying your whole life for him. He's doing his thing -- it's time for you to do yours and stop waiting around for someone who is off doing their own thing.
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 I am a fool, but to be fair I'm not waiting around for him. I've dated two really cool guys, I'm helping to launch a bussiness of whitch I am the kitchen manager, joined a really cool Marxist feminist reading group and met some awesome interesting people, spending lots of time with friends and family. Lost 15 pounds, all that single girl owns the city post break up stuff. But I fall to pieces every time he calls. He says he misses me, goes days on end without human contact, is constantly uncomfortable and stressed has accomplished NOTHING. Why doesn't he just meet me like we agreed. I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again.
pickflicker Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 You're being a giant sucker, if you keep waiting...
Simon Phoenix Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I am a fool, but to be fair I'm not waiting around for him. I've dated two really cool guys, I'm helping to launch a bussiness of whitch I am the kitchen manager, joined a really cool Marxist feminist reading group and met some awesome interesting people, spending lots of time with friends and family. Lost 15 pounds, all that single girl owns the city post break up stuff. But I fall to pieces every time he calls. He says he misses me, goes days on end without human contact, is constantly uncomfortable and stressed has accomplished NOTHING. Why doesn't he just meet me like we agreed. I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again. But you are waiting around for him. If you weren't you wouldn't go to sh*t every time he sniffs in your direction. Your time has value. Every time you put everything on hold for a guy who is pretty much indifferent to you, you show little value. When he calls -- don't pick up. This ain't rocket science. 2
Author youaremysunshine Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Not sure what I'm putting on hold? I'm dating other people. He's the one not seeing anyone else. I am letting him hurt me though, and it seems like he isn't going to stop.
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