Phoebe Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) What is the furthest distance / amount of time spent traveling that you would be willing to deal with to date someone? Reason I ask is that I just got out of relationship a few months ago and during the last few weeks have been getting closer to someone I work with. I'm moving to another town before the end of the year which is a little over 1 hour away. We really seem to get on and I think that if I stayed in town we would definitely end up dating. While I would be willing to make an effort and at least see how things work out whenever we talk about me moving away he always makes it sound like I'll be on the opposite side of the world. So I was wondering what other people thought was an excessive distance? Edited December 16, 2013 by Phoebe
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 It's going to vary by person. I dated a local guy who moved to the other coast & we did a bi-coastal relationship over 3,000 miles for about 1.5 years. This was before the internet & cell phones. I wouldn't do it again. I have routinely dated men up to 2 hours away but we had a common middle ground connection & saw each other at work or school. I wouldn't do much farther but you should never say never. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 An hour away? Do not think that's too bad. Depends if you are willing to put that effort into a slight travel. Maybe not seeing each other for a couple of days. You should be fine, with an hour away. Most people these days seem to date outside of their own city, and as such, could/can be an hour away.
somedude81 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 My ex lived roughly an hour away from me (could be more because of traffic) and we saw each other only about two days a week. She worked retail and her most common shift was 10am to 7pm so there was no way I would see her on a day she worked. The days we got together was completely dependent on her work schedule. I'm in college so I was almost always free. If we lived in the same city, we would have seen each other much more often and possibly still be together.
pyramid Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 For me personally, anything over 20 minutes away is pushing it. I have limited time to date (demanding job, single mom) and it's just a fact of life that sometimes a "date" is going to be an hour for dinner. I don't want either of us to have to spend more time getting to/from the date than we are spending together. It's just not sustainable long-term for me. I understand that this limits my "pool" but it's not something I'm willing to compromise on for now.
rocketman122 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 What is the furthest distance / amount of time spent traveling that you would be willing to deal with to date someone? Reason I ask is that I just got out of relationship a few months ago and during the last few weeks have been getting closer to someone I work with. I'm moving to another town before the end of the year which is a little over 1 hour away. We really seem to get on and I think that if I stayed in town we would definitely end up dating. While I would be willing to make an effort and at least see how things work out whenever we talk about me moving away he always makes it sound like I'll be on the opposite side of the world. So I was wondering what other people thought was an excessive distance? I dated a woman (till recently) who lived about 1 hour and 22 minutes drive from me. sometimes I took the train (about an hours time) sometimes I drove but it went on for 2 years. and yes 1 hour and between 19-24 minutes...really. depends how far youre willing to go for love. when it started I didnt think it would hold so long cause I thought I would tire from it. but since being so in love with her, I wouldve went twice that amount to see her. people have LD relationships from different parts of the world. depends if you want it bad enough. I say try. give it a solid effort and try. if its really tiring you out and you dont connect in the R then move on.
FitChick Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Check out the Long Distance forum. Many people, including me, will travel to the ends of the earth for Mr. Right! 1
FitChick Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Reason I ask is that I just got out of relationship a few months ago and during the last few weeks have been getting closer to someone I work with. I'm moving to another town before the end of the year which is a little over 1 hour away. We really seem to get on and I think that if I stayed in town we would definitely end up dating. While I would be willing to make an effort and at least see how things work out whenever we talk about me moving away he always makes it sound like I'll be on the opposite side of the world. Tell him to meet you halfway, literally. If he can't be bothered, he isn't interested in you.
todreaminblue Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 What is the furthest distance / amount of time spent traveling that you would be willing to deal with to date someone? Reason I ask is that I just got out of relationship a few months ago and during the last few weeks have been getting closer to someone I work with. I'm moving to another town before the end of the year which is a little over 1 hour away. We really seem to get on and I think that if I stayed in town we would definitely end up dating. While I would be willing to make an effort and at least see how things work out whenever we talk about me moving away he always makes it sound like I'll be on the opposite side of the world. So I was wondering what other people thought was an excessive distance? 1000 km...add or take ten km 1
MalachiX Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Meh. I live in Los Angeles so, once you remember traffic, and hour isn't that big a deal. I don't love it (and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm far more excited about a prospective relationship if they're withing 5 miles of me); but it's not the end of the world. I don't think I'd seek out someone who lived that far away (I don't when I'm looking online) but, if I already knew I liked someone, I think I'd give it a shot at an hour distance. 1
happywithlife Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 My boyfriend currently lives an hour away. We've been seeing each other for about a year now. Give. Our schedules, we have date night once a week and stay at my place. Then we are together on the weekends which we spend at either my place or his depending on who has their kids that weekend. It has worked out just fine for us and we'll move in together sometime next summer (we both are back in school to start different careers and want to graduate and get jobs first). Everyone is different. An hour might be too much for you or an ok distance. I think the key to a successful relationship that involves distance is trust, good communication skills, and the ablilty to be both true to yourself and a team player (though these are key to any relationship too). 1
Woop1337 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Anything more than 50 miles. And that's pushing it.
Els Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 We were 5000 miles apart for 2 years. Yes, that does sound rather excessive; and it was, that's why one of us had to move. An hour isn't that big a deal IMO if both of you work normal 40-hour weeks, have private transport and gas money, and have minimal commitments otherwise. You could see each other at least a couple days a week that way. If there were children involved or excessive work hours then there may be slight problems. That being said, as don says - it really depends on the people involved. It doesn't matter that YOU think it's not a big deal; if he thinks it is, chances are it's not going to work out. Both people have to believe that it will work and that it is worth it, for the relationship to stand a chance. 2
Leigh 87 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 My bf lives about 4 hours away. We meet half way and spend the day in Sydney (half way between our houses), then he hops on a train and comes and stays with me for days at a time. Neither of us thought anything of it.
MissBee Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I don't have any hard and fast rules about this. I am not going to necessarily seek out someone far away to date, but for me, if I knew you before especially and I feel it is worth it, distance is not an issue. I am a mobile person: there are planes, trains, cars and nowadays lots of communication technology. I have done LD before and would do it again if it is worth it, because the distance can be closed and if we get serious it is not impossible to make that happen. But that is my own comfort level. It is nice to have someone down the street whom you can see anytime you want, but I have also done long distance, separated by a country, and it was still a good experience. 1
jonny walker Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 i will travel a distance for the one i loved.but the time u spend while dating should be something u havent experienced in your entire life..
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