JDPT Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 That makes me very sad. I think this all too fresh right now and this is all too much to take in. I feel alone and I can't stop crying. I hate the crying! It's difficult to accept reality now. We tell you as we see from and objective perspective. It's overwhelming indeed but once you reach a more stable state things won't feel so blurry anymore.
BC1980 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 That makes me very sad. I think this all too fresh right now and this is all too much to take in. I feel alone and I can't stop crying. I hate the crying! You are still in shock. Right now, you are going to have to plow through each day any way that you can. This is going to be difficult, but you will survive it. Establish a routine, and go about it as best you can. This sh&t sucks, and there's no way to sugar coat it. I focused on my routine each day for the first few months. I went to work, exercised, ect. I made sure I stayed around people as much as possible. I cried a lot at night, but I put onto game face during the day. You will have to force yourself to get up and keep fighting right now. 3
Mariposa10 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Just watch mind-numbing TV or listen to some soothing music. Just close your eyes for a bit. You might not sleep, but try to rest. Watching those shows... helped me a lot... Talking to people who didn't know anything about my breakup helped too, to take a break from all the pain. But right now it's the perfect time to talk about it. I also made a list of things I didn't like about my ex. For example, my ex was flaky I started thinking about how I was never gonna have to deal with his flakiness anymore, and how there was no way in hell I could ever meet someone as flaky as he was. I also made a list of all the things I was gonna be able to do now that I was single... I've been re-connecting with friends and family. Enjoying everything, when I mean everything I mean everything even the coffee I drink every single day. I've learned to see the beauty around me and be grateful for all I have. 6
LostConfused123 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Very proud of you! ANYTIME you need to talk okay. BIG BIG HUG!!!! 2
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Watching those shows... helped me a lot... Talking to people who didn't know anything about my breakup helped too, to take a break from all the pain. But right now it's the perfect time to talk about it. I also made a list of things I didn't like about my ex. For example, my ex was flaky I started thinking about how I was never gonna have to deal with his flakiness anymore, and how there was no way in hell I could ever meet someone as flaky as he was. I also made a list of all the things I was gonna be able to do now that I was single... I've been re-connecting with friends and family. Enjoying everything, when I mean everything I mean everything even the coffee I drink every single day. I've learned to see the beauty around me and be grateful for all I have. I think that all comes with time, but it's good to know it at least arrives. The first night or probably week...is just gonna be hard for me. But one thing is for sure...he can't break up with me anymore which means I won't hurt anymore than I am right now. I got a long road ahead of me, but everyday will get easier. I look forward to it.
Mariposa10 Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I think that all comes with time, but it's good to know it at least arrives. The first night or probably week...is just gonna be hard for me. But one thing is for sure...he can't break up with me anymore which means I won't hurt anymore than I am right now. I got a long road ahead of me, but everyday will get easier. I look forward to it. Yes, this is a loooong process, so there's no need to try to "snap out of it." Btw, having a routine like BC said is really helpful as well.
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 It's over isn't it? He isn't coming back, is he? I will never be with him again, will I? I wish I could slap myself back to reality. Why do I care so much what he is thinking or going to do?! UGH But seriously...why do we care so much?
JDPT Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 It's over isn't it? He isn't coming back, is he? I will never be with him again, will I? I wish I could slap myself back to reality. Why do I care so much what he is thinking or going to do?! UGH But seriously...why do we care so much? I'm concern that you will run at his slightest command. As stated previously, you need to take charge and make decisions for yourself. Take time to digest everything that's currently happening around you. This is it, it's reality there is not turning back. 2
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 I'm concern that you will run at his slightest command. As stated previously, you need to take charge and make decisions for yourself. Take time to digest everything that's currently happening around you. This is it, it's reality there is not turning back. There will be no slightest command from him. He is done with me. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I'm concern that you will run at his slightest command. As stated previously, you need to take charge and make decisions for yourself. Take time to digest everything that's currently happening around you. This is it, it's reality there is not turning back. Yep, I'm afraid of this too. I'm afraid he'll come calling and she'll just fold. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) There will be no slightest command from him. I am done with him. This is what I hoped you would post. Edited December 16, 2013 by Simon Phoenix 1
Zahara Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 There will be no slightest command from him. He is done with me. I wish you said, "I am done with him." I hope you don't cave, because he will be back at some point. It was important for YOU to be done with him. 3
Grumpybutfun Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Socks: You need to post right now exactly what you did not like about him and being in a relationship with him...do it now on this thread. That way when you think about him in a longing way, you will be reminded of why you aren't together anymore. The only thing worse than breaking up with someone is staying in a relationship where you aren't valued, accepted and loved one day longer. Look forward and think about how you are going to be the person you want to be so you can attract the man who will treat you the way you want to be treated. There are some great, normal guys out there looking for girls who are real, nice and loving. Best, Grumps 4
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 I waited for his call last night at 10pm (when he gets home from work) and he never said anything. I finally went to sleep. My phone was on silent and for some reason I woke up at 1am..I looked at my phone across from me and it was lit up. He was calling. My heart dropped, but I ignored it. He then texted me saying, "Just got home from work. I hope you're safe. Where did you move? And who helped you move?" I ignored it and fell back asleep somehow. I know he is lying about him saying he just got home from work. I think he said that as a ploy to get me to respond back because he knew I would wonder why he got home so late. I think what happened was he got home, was shocked and probably mad and then replied at 1am because I hadn't said anything. It's hard living at my dads on the couch though. Hard, but possible. My back hurts and I've been off and on all night. My dad's gf woke up at 5am to make his lunch so I've been up since then. But hey, I got my espresso to wake me up. I woke up with severe chest pain and shallow breathing, that's not very fun. But out of all this, it's so nice to have family around and not be alone while going through this. I am so thankful for that. And everyone, I AM DONE with him. I thought that was obvious since I moved out. I just mentioned he was done with me too. Don't mistake my sadness and anxiety for me wanting him back. I don't at all. He was a coward, a fearful coward. He never did crap for me, wasn't romantic, didn't take me places, never bought me flowers, always blamed his fear on him not being able to open up to me or commit to me, went out with other woman, never invited me to go anywhere, went on trips without me... I will be sad. I spent 3 years with this man and I have memories. Although, I'm starting to realize those memories weren't that great. If anything, I've been unhappy for a long time. Without him, I'll be happy in time. With him, I would have been miserable forever because I would always expect him to give me what he couldn't. I feel sorry for the next woman. Socks: You need to post right now exactly what you did not like about him and being in a relationship with him...do it now on this thread. That way when you think about him in a longing way, you will be reminded of why you aren't together anymore. Best, Grumps 1
Cabinet Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Just keep repeating to yourself over and over "I deserve better than that. I deserve better than that. I'm doing this for myself even though I don't feel it right now I know I will some day. " Over and over and over! Fill your mind with self talk even if you don't believe it yet. 1
stillafool Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I feel awful that I vanished and moved out without saying a word and I feel awful that I told him "f*ck you". I just feel bad that I left someone like that...I question how much I really love him if I could be so heartless? I have no idea what his reaction will be when he gets home. I wish it was him getting heartbroken and realizing he lost someone special. But who knows... Why do I feel like an awful person? This has been so hard today for me. Don't you dare feel this way. If anything this guy feels like King Dick because he told you he didn't love you and you still seduced him for sex just before you left. He thinks he's irresistable and he was probably telling the truth about the "tight pu--y" thing as well. It's time to get angry, but not at him at yourself for letting someone treat you this way. He never begged you to stay, did he? Change your phone number and all contact information so you can show him you do have self esteem.
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Don't you dare feel this way. If anything this guy feels like King Dick because he told you he didn't love you and you still seduced him for sex just before you left. He thinks he's irresistable and he was probably telling the truth about the "tight pu--y" thing as well. It's time to get angry, but not at him at yourself for letting someone treat you this way. He never begged you to stay, did he? Change your phone number and all contact information so you can show him you do have self esteem. That still haunts me and I get this horrible ache when I think about that. I don't even want to imagine that yet. I'm not ready for that much more pain. He's never begged me to stay. Why would he when I was always available?
Zahara Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 That still haunts me and I get this horrible ache when I think about that. I don't even want to imagine that yet. I'm not ready for that much more pain. He's never begged me to stay. Why would he when I was always available? The best thing you can do for yourself is to either block him from all means of communication or change your number. He will keep nudging at you. He knows you are weak for him. The fact that he spoke to you that way is a clear indication of where he is emotionally with you. Someone with a peanut for a brain would know that saying something like that to someone that they know is still in love with them is a horrible and cruel thing to do. But he said it anyway, so callously. This reminds me of another poster on LS. In the midst of breaking up, in a tearful state, the jackass was wanking off infront of her. Your guy is no different. Total disrespect and disregard for your emotions and your attachment to him. Guys like this will try and keep recycling women that they know and feel can be used again. If you want that to stop, block him. Especially in a state of vulnerability, you don't want to be in a position where your need to move on is jeopardized by this idiot. Even if you believe you are done with him and will not break NC, you don't want to be dragged back a few steps everytime he contacts you.
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 The best thing you can do for yourself is to either block him from all means of communication or change your number. He will keep nudging at you. He knows you are weak for him. The fact that he spoke to you that way is a clear indication of where he is emotionally with you. Someone with a peanut for a brain would know that saying something like that to someone that they know is still in love with them is a horrible and cruel thing to do. But he said it anyway, so callously. This reminds me of another poster on LS. In the midst of breaking up, in a tearful state, the jackass was wanking off infront of her. Your guy is no different. Total disrespect and disregard for your emotions and your attachment to him. Guys like this will try and keep recycling women that they know and feel can be used again. If you want that to stop, block him. Especially in a state of vulnerability, you don't want to be in a position where your need to move on is jeopardized by this idiot. Even if you believe you are done with him and will not break NC, you don't want to be dragged back a few steps everytime he contacts you. I know...It's very manipulative and sad. We ended so awful and then he pretended to care and act nice to me once he found out I moved out. I wish I could have seen his reaction when he opened my door and I was GONE. I don't think he will be back like that though...I really don't think so.
Zahara Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 I don't think he will be back like that though...I really don't think so. This is what everyone says. In actual fact, deep down we want them to be back. I've said this before, but in my heart hoping for him to be back and nearly every dumpee will say this in order to avoid blocking or to make that final decision to completely cut themselves from any hope. 1
Author BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 This is what everyone says. In actual fact, deep down we want them to be back. I've said this before, but in my heart hoping for him to be back and nearly every dumpee will say this in order to avoid blocking or to make that final decision to completely cut themselves from any hope. Sorry guys. He knows that I'm on here now so I'm going to hide out for awhile. I don't want him to know my feelings or what's going on with me. Is there anyway I can delete posts?
Zahara Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Sorry guys. He knows that I'm on here now so I'm going to hide out for awhile. I don't want him to know my feelings or what's going on with me. Is there anyway I can delete posts? I don't think you can delete posts or threads.
Still Searching Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 What a mess... Stop giving this guy a second thought. Who cares what he thinks, says, knows, etc. You're so worried about what he thinks about everything. You wish you could have seen his reaction, don't want him to know your feelings...who cares anymore? It's over. Listen to people on here. Block him, go NC.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 Socks: You need to post right now exactly what you did not like about him and being in a relationship with him...do it now on this thread. That way when you think about him in a longing way, you will be reminded of why you aren't together anymore. The only thing worse than breaking up with someone is staying in a relationship where you aren't valued, accepted and loved one day longer. Look forward and think about how you are going to be the person you want to be so you can attract the man who will treat you the way you want to be treated. There are some great, normal guys out there looking for girls who are real, nice and loving. Best, Grumps Excellent advice. I see you've done this a bit in this thread, but I encourage you to continue it, either here or on paper, whenever you feel like it. Making a long list of things that my boyfriend did and did not do to make me feel unloved and unappreciated, along with writing about how those things made me feel, was instrumental in breaking up with him. I would go back to that writing every day or two to help fortify my decision when I was feeling weak. And even now, 2 months after the breakup, I still revisit that writing sometimes to remind me why I did it and help me stick to my guns and let it go. 1
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