Letitsnow Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 I am very tired of it. I met this guy online; we chat for longer time; then we met and I had sex with him which made me feel used. I don't blame him anymore because I should left and not to ignore red flags and come back to him. He was charming and I was blind. Now all I can think of is him. Why did he do it, why did he promised fairy tales just to get into my pants, why he does not text, why this and that??? This is not answer... I keep thinking as a victim all the time. I can't hardly ask myself why do I even want him to text me back? What is that he can give me? Why do I even want him? There was nothing wrong with him wanting to get it, what is wrong is, that I let it happened. Why can't I simply deactivate my FB account, change my number or email so I can no more wonder if he is contacting me again? Why can't I let go? I keep holding on of my own fantasy. When he did not text, I used to tell myself that is a good sign. It only means he is using someone else instead of me. But, it does not work anymore. He texted me, said he misses me, wants me and I was back - hooked. No matter how much I knew it was wrong, I talked back. Last thing he asked for were some sexy pics. I said I am not comfortable with it, but he asked next time as well. Then, all of the sudden he wrote " I think I am falling in love with you"... Really? Which part of me? I am tired. When I find some logic behind it - I make excuses for him and his actions. But I know he is not a problem. I am and I don't know what to do about it. How do I stop being my own victim? I am sorry if I sound confusing. I feel lost.
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Have you ever been in counseling? It might be a good idea to help improve your self esteem. Once you do that you will be stronger & better able to identify the jerks out there.
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