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Whats my next step

Nanners

By Nanners
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Nanners Member

Nanners

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I apologize that is a long story but I would really appreciate it if you would read the story and help me, because I honestly don't know what to do.

 

After my ex broke up with me back in October this girl that I never really noticed before began flirting with me. At the time I wasn't ready to date so I ignored all her signals.

 

A week before Thanksgiving break she came into my place of work and I began to notice that she had awesome eyes. Little by little I began to start liking her.

 

During Thanksgiving break I began showing her that I was interested by liking some of her photos on Facebook. I was worried she wouldn't view that as a hint that I was interested so I had it in my head that I was going to ask her out when I get back to school.

 

After break she came in my place of work with cookies that she claimed she baked because I was a nice guy. I was a little nervous but I asked her out and she accepted it. The first date was amazing we found that we had a few things in common.

 

After the date I took her back to our dorm, we stay in the same dorm building. I was hoping for a hug but she quickly went to her door and said she had a great time and that was that. I brushed it off that she was nervous or something.

 

A couple days later I bought cupcakes from her favorite bakery. I went to her place of work and told her that when she gets off to meet me in the food court that I had a surprise for her. She was extremely happy to see that I remembered that she liked those cupcakes.

 

We sat in the food court and had another great time. After we finished I got the hint she didn't want it to end so I told her that I was going to go to the mall to shop for presents and that I would like it if she came along. She agreed and off we went to the mall.

 

Here's where my dilemma comes in.

 

At the mall we were having a great time. We were even playfully nudging each other in the stores. After 30 minutes at the mall she gets a phone call that her grandpa had died. I asked her if she wanted to go back to the dorm and she told me no she wanted to show me something amazing.

 

Where she took me was this house that had Christmas lights that were synced to music. It was the perfect opportunity to try to lean on her or try some kind of physical contact but I didn't because I didn't want her thinking I was taking advantage of the situation with her grandpa dying.

 

When I walked her to her door she did the same thing as the first date where she went straight to her door but this time she just said talk to you later. I understood that she had a lot on her mind so I didn't mind not getting a hug.

 

The next day we talked a little bit through text message. One thing lead to another and I ended up telling her that I was having a lot of fun with her and that I like her and would like seeing her over Christmas if that was okay with her. She sent this message,

 

" I've had a lot of fun too! I'm not sure what kind of relationship you're looking for but I have to be honest with you. I'm not looking for anything serious right now. You are truly one of the greatest guys ever, I just dont know what's good for me. If you still want to give it a shot, thats cool with me... but if that changes your mind I completely understand."

 

I decided to not to reply to the next because I knew I would see her the next day.

 

When I did see her she sat me down and ask me where I thought we were in the relationship. I told her that we are still getting to know each other but what I do know about you is that you're an awesome person and would like to see you over Christmas break. She replied that she doesn't know what she wants in a relationship and that she had a lot on her mind. We talked a little bit after that and I ended the conversation by telling her that she has my number if she ever needs me.

 

That was 3 days ago and I haven't heard from her. What should I do? I want to keep seeing her but I don't want her thinking I'm stalking her. I'm thinking about may be texting her tonight to see how shes doing. Is that a good idea?

Edited by Nanners
fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted

I would not contact her again. She's telling you (in code mind you) to get lost. Pursue at your own risk. But let me tell you, this won't end well for you...

datingnoob93 Member

datingnoob93

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Posted

OK so I'm basically new at this whole dating thing but generally 2 dates with not even a hug is not a good sign. Also I think its way to early to discuss the "status" of your relationship since you guys don't have a romantic relationship going on yet in the first place... I think that would really turn a girl off at this stage.

 

Why don't you just give her a week or two to let her chill off and get some stuff out of her head ?? She has some thinking to do and I don't think you are the right person to be comforting her right now. Then send her a simple text message asking her how she is and go from there if she responds positively. If not then forget about it.

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Nanners Member

Nanners

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
OK so I'm basically new at this whole dating thing but generally 2 dates with not even a hug is not a good sign. Also I think its way to early to discuss the "status" of your relationship since you guys don't have a romantic relationship going on yet in the first place... I think that would really turn a girl off at this stage.

 

Why don't you just give her a week or two to let her chill off and get some stuff out of her head ?? She has some thinking to do and I don't think you are the right person to be comforting her right now. Then send her a simple text message asking her how she is and go from there if she responds positively. If not then forget about it.

 

With the first date I'm going to assume she was nervous. The second date I more than likely would of got a hug since we were nudging each other at the mall but she had a lot on her mind, with her grandpa dying, and more than likely wanted to go to her room and be left alone.

 

I thought it was way too early to discuss that two. But when she mentioned it I felt obligated to answer.

 

 

why would you do that?

 

like you said, you ended the conversation verifying she has your number if she 'needs' you.

 

now you wait.

 

if that's too hard for you, you aren't ready for any kind of relationship.

 

don't say one thing & then turn around & do another.

 

 

j

 

I over looked that. Before I said that I asked her if I would see her over Christmas break and she said definitely. After that is when I told her she had my number if she needs me.

 

I'm strong enough to wait. I just over looked what I told her. Thank you for pointing that out.

 

The ball is definitely in her court. I'm confident enough she'll get in contact with me I just have to play the waiting game.

Edited by Nanners
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