iworthmore Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 well, i'v been doing great the last couple days. was hanging out with friends and having fun. bought some new stuff for my self. had great meals at expensive restaurants and worked hard at the gym. during that time didn't think much about my ex. even at night id watch a movie and sleep like a baby until late hour. im keeping on checking LS several times a day. i see some thread's posted by ppl that had their BU month's or year's back. and they still not moved on. well, that really caused me frustration. i know its a process that takes time, but more than 7-8 months? more than year or 2 even 4??? god i don't wanna stay like that all that long!! no ****in way!!!. i'v following the "rules" of healing. total NC. keeping myself busy and improving myself but i know what purpose im serving. again it all abt the ex. what im trying to say is maybe there is another way!! by doing all those things we highlight the past again. and it will be a reminder of us. i have no doubt that the technique can work by helping us achieving some stages but when we remember why doing it will have those memories again. the best way to heal is to live normally. if i never played an instrument, starting playing right now will always remind me of why i started it. i know there is a very thin line between what im suggesting and what all of us doing. i will try this even i dont know how to do it. i will start living my life like before. if i ever try something new i will do it cuz i really like it not because it might help me moving on. if we seek better future to make us forget the past. we will always remember the first step and what caused us taking that first step. don't make future plans to help forgetting the past. separate future from the past. make things you really like regardless of the past. the new happy memories will take the old memories place from your brain, then the past will simply fade. lol.. sorry abt that i sound drunk but im not. and it was long. just another venting and perspective. i hope i was able to convey the message. i wish you happy zero ****'s given day iworthmore 1
Mr me to Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) Bro if you can function normally after your break up then do it, more power to you. The reason people suggest taking up a new hobby and doing new things is, some people myself included find it hard to function at all, getting out of bed on a morning feels pointless. We feel physically, mentally and emotionally dead. Stuck in endless thought patterns about our exes. What we should of done, what they doing now, who they with, how we can get them back ect ect ect and this isn't some of the time this is all of the time. So yes although we know exercise or hanging out with friends would make us feel better we don't do it not through choice but because every part of our being has been took over by deep deep sadness and severe pain. We feel dead inside no joy at all. The only way to combat this is to consciously force ourselves to do the basics, eating, sleeping, house work is a unbelievable struggle, the thought of doing anything we used to do with out our exes is unbearable so we must try at least to force our selves to do new things that don't remind us of them... That's how I feel anyways and I've always thought of myself as a emotionally strong, confident, outgoing person. BNot no more I am a empty shell that is on the verge of breaking down at any moment. No one understands how I feel. Life is going on around me and no matter how hard I fight I just cant seem to find a way in. I could be at home around family, at work or around friends it makes no difference I still feel completely alone. I have lost friends and family members due to death and I can honestly say I found that easier to deal with as I know they left not through choice. To know I have been abandoned and rejected by the one person I gave my all too is like dying a thousand deaths. am I really that insignificant to the love of my life, my other half. That they can just go and get on with life without a thought about me. What we built over six years she has replaced in 3 months with someone else. So yes I am a addict, I am co dependant, I am a sucker for love but most of all I am lost and want my life back. I want my wife to rub me on the back and take the pain away but she not here, she enjoying the company of someone else. Where do I go where do I turn??? Edited December 17, 2013 by Mr me to
Author iworthmore Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 MR me to, bro it hurts to read what u wrote. i wish you get better soon. like u said, sometimes it feels like thousands deaths. i also have my weak moments that i don't wanna leave the bed. everything feels bad. no energy to do anything. my situation is different. we were in relationship less than 8 months and i feel so sad. u had 6 years relationship, i don't wanna know what cud happen to me if i was in 6 years relationship. its really weird that someone that once loved you so much and u meant everything for her suddenly become a stranger like the past never existed. they dont care about your feeling and they never were less interested about your life. this **** sucks!!! the fact they leave means they never deserved our love. and we shouldnt make them the source of happiness. they don't worth it. we used to do great before meeting them and we can do it again. we must stay strong and fight. its a battle. im counting on time. it must heal all wounds. even our wound.
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