rizzban29 Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Okay so let me first start off by explaining a bit of me. Basically Im a guy in his mid-20s who has played the field a bit before getting into his first real serious relationship. Me and my girlfriend now have been going out almost a year now. At the time I met her we were friends for a bit, and I thought she was cute but really had no intention to make any moves on her as I was at a phase in my life of independence and I was going to travel. So one thing leads into another and I feel like Im passionately in love a few months later, best in the bedroom I have ever seen. We ended up moving in with each other a few months later, and few months later than that, due to the momentum of the relationship and an expiring visa, we decided to get married in order to give our love a chance to fully blossom. So fast forward to now. Due to finanances we are now living in her parent's house for almost half a year, and things have changed a bit. Before living in this house, I felt all lovey dovey and we always got on. Now, I feel like things have changed a bit, and I am beginning to think I may have rushed into things. Being my first real relationship, I am learning a lot of new things. A few times I had said look I dont know how this is going to work. We both broke down crying and I regretted instantly after we said that we both loved each other. I feel love for this girl. But something also weighing me down.. I get the urge to be single again. I see many girls in the malls and shops and I feel a really strong lust for them... but not ONLY this.. I am curious if they would be able to give me that butterfly feeling in the stomach. There have been only a few girls to give me this and they never catered to my pursuits. In addition my girl is almost a decade older so she talks about kids and that kind of scares me. So all in all, I do love her and have a great time. But I feel like the sexual energy has died down and I feel like I am looking at others. As well, not having this butterfly feeling, that means something? Well hopefully move out of the parents house soon but I just dont know if that will help.. I hae strong urges to be single.. and I have stated this to her but we are still together. I do not know what to do. I feel very confused about my emotions. Any help would be great. Thanks.
Sparky9 Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Honestly, this is what relationships are all about. The lovey dovey stuff fades after time. Especially with the added stress of living at either of your parents homes. A year is still a fairly short amount of time...but more than enough to make a great bond. This is going to be a hard decision for you. I think it may be best to sit down and write out pros, and cons of being with her. Still sounds like you both get along together well enough...you just feel you've lost "the spark". You start taking each other for granted, running in a stagnant routine. Making it work in the long run, is all about how you get past losing the spark.
Author rizzban29 Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 I totally understand the whole grass is greener aspect. Yet why do I feel at times resentment to be in the relationship. I told her after 3 months I didnt know how it was gonna work. The I told her I wanted to be single about 2 months ago. I felt very sad bc shes like my best friend.. but I said Sorry its how I feel. In my heart I felt lime I had broken up.. the pain recovery.. And now it seems we were bak as normal a day later. At times I wish she would leave me.. I fantasize abput being single. I love her but I dont want to resent being with her in years because I had ignored these feelings. Will this pass? 1
Author rizzban29 Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 Yes I fear that... but nothing is ever so black and white. The resentment comes and goes.. Maybe it could be chalked down to mid20s hormones. Maybe it would be something I would deeply regret in the future yet one day console myself by saying it was necessary. And her family has been so good to me. We have Xmas plans. If I were to do anything I dobt think now is the time to end it. I feel like shes my best friend but a pretty girl walks by and my mind is going She showed me how to feel how to love. Maybe stresses of her parents are weighing me and we should try the moving out I feel trapped
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