I asked her out and she responded in a strange way :S

[Jack1987]

Hey people this is my third post. And as always i am confused again by Emma' (The girl i like) actions.

 

Well this time i have more news regarding my situation. After my friends had been forcing me to do something about it i finally asked her to come out with me. But it was at a very hard time to approach her, since she just came from her vacations yesterday (She went to Spain with her girl friends for a couple of days) and is going on another vacation on Tuesday back home to be with her family and friends for Christmas for about a month. It was not a good time to ask her but i picked up that phone today and finally called her. Here is what i said:

 

Me: Hey Emma, Your still here !

Her: Hey, Yes i am, came back yesterday

Me: How was your trip ?

Her: It was loads of fun, going to bars and getting drunk, and seeing new places around

Me: That sounds fun, anyways when are you going back home this time ?

Her: Going home back early on Tuesday morning at 6 am.

Me: Oh okay, anyways what are your plans for today ?

Her: I was going out with some girl friends to buy some gifts for back home

Me: Oh too bad, what time ?

Her: Around 5 pm. Why ?

Me: Because i had two free movie tickets that i got from my work place, thought if you wanted to come along around 9 pm or before that.

Her: Uh i need to pack my stuff and need to to work on my project as well so i don't think i can.

Me: Oh alrighty, no problem, i will probably ask someone else then.

Her: Yeah

Me: So when are you coming back ?

Her: In 1 month etc.

Me: Alright i will probably see you around then ! Bye

Her: Talk to you later ! Bye

 

After 5 minutes or so she texts me saying:

Your welcome to come shopping with us !

 

I wrote her that i have to go somewhere else and i might come by and see her. Then she texts me she can't anyways, because she needs to work on her project. I reply her saying, I think i can't either because it's going to be late and i have a movie to watch. She hasn't replied back and i know she won't.

 

So basically i am friends with Emma, and have been hitting it off everytime we go out to bars with our friends. Why would i think she likes me in such a way ?

 

Alright here i go: She likes to hold my hands when going to bars and when coming back from a bar night out (This has happened more than 15 times now). She likes to be around me, walk next to me, talk to me a lot, laugh at my stupid jokes, compliment me by saying ''Hey Jack, i like your shoes''. She would follow me around, notice me, give me all of her attention. If i have to go outside to have a smoke, she would be like, '' I am coming too''. If i get lost in a crowded bar, she would try to find me, or go in search finding me and not sticking around our friends even her best friend but would try to find me. Heck even if i get kicked out from a bar she would leave the others behind, even her best girl friend and come outside to go at another bar with me. When we are alone, i can touch her, play with her hair, kiss her on the back of her head, hold her. If i spill a drink, she would wipe it off with her fingers, she likes to glance at me. I usually act rude towards her because i just don't know what is happening, she is around me all the time and i don't even know if she likes me that way, so i try to talk to other girls at the bar, she would see me talking to her and when i come back to her, she would be like, why don't you talk to her ? I tell her because i want to talk to you and then i hug her, and she holds my hand. She is all the time there giving me attention 24.7 when we are out. How could i not get confused by these actions ?

 

We hangout normally on weekends, she never texts me though and neither do i. But when i text her she responds back instantly. If i ask her to come to a bar with me and my OWN friends (She doesn't know them) she would tag a long.

 

So my question is, what she said was that a rejection ? Should i try it out with her again when she comes back ? Maybe she was busy ? She could be lying ? I just don't know what to do from her ? She has totally confused me... Please help me out.

[bubbaganoosh]

Wait for her to come back and ask again. She's either going to say yes or no but from what you described, I would think she would.

 

Remember this is a busy time of the year with a lot of people. It's just bad timing. When the holidays are over, then you can ask her out without all the hassle of the season.

[Poppyolive]

Dude, I don't think that was rejection. Busy time of year, just got back, going again, Christmas gifts. And she did ask you to come with her. I believe asking her to the movies genuinely couldn't work so she asked you to join. If she has feelings for doing this all before she goes has probably caught her off guard. By the sounds of how you both are when out there is feelings there, but she is probably scared as you two are friends. So this needs some lighter loving, understanding an taking it slow. Keep in mind that shes awesome either way. You have a fun friendship, you'd like more, by the sounds of it she'd like more so keep that in mind before getting worked up or angry. Maybe text when shes away.. A nice Christmas text and a bit of a I miss having you around. Catch up when shes back for a movie or drinks. Ooh also all those things shes been doing when you are together, I feel shes waiting for you to make the move!

[Jack1987]

Hey,

Thanks for replying.

 

I may have not been specific, but all of these positive signs started happening after i asked her out the first time. It was about 3 months ago and we were just friends, random friends at that time. But after that weeks and months to come, she started doing all that crap.

 

We barely text each other, i mean, if i text her, it is once a week and she responds to that. She never keeps the conversation going, if i try to, she would ignore some of my message. But sometimes she does and the conversation dies off. Anyways her ignoring to some statement text messages shows me that i am at a very low priority. She texted me Alright have fun going to the movies, because i gave her the impression that i am going anyways, even if she doesn't come. To her message i reply saying, ''Thanks, good luck with the college work and have a great trip''. She isn't concerned about replying to that. I know she won't reply back so what the heck.

 

I don't even know what is going on, maybe she is just playing games with me. Should i still ask her out that one time, when she comes back ?

[Jack1987]

The first time when i asked her out, she lied about seeing someone else, even though she was single, thats what her best friend who is my classfellow told me about !

[2fargone]

She did invite you to come shopping. Don't dig in to deep in this. I see nothing wrong here but lack of time. You saying you have no time because you need to watch a movie however is... defensive at best. A smart girl would pick up on this.

[Jack1987]

I totally agree with you, but she cancels that too. As far as i know her, i don't believe her working on her project just 2 days before she leaves. I know her personally, and i think that was total BS ! Other than that, i wished her a safe trip, she doesn't respond to that. There is so much to look into. And i am not backing off, i would ask her out though but things don't look that great

[Jack1987]

Oh i think you totally misunderstood that part ! After i called her, she sends me a message saying.

 

Her: You welcome to come to ##### (The Shopping Malls Name)

Me: They hate me over there ;-)

Me: But i was going to go for some indoor football with some friends so i can show up afterwards. What time are you guys going there ?

Her: Around 5 pm maybe. But Lisa (My classfellow) is still at home, she needs to contact me, but i will let you know

Me: Could you let me know around 4 pm ?

Her: Sure thing

Her: I am not going anyways, have to work on my project But you can hit up Lisa.

Me: I can't make it either, its going to be late, have a movie to watch ;-)

Her: Okay dokey have fun

Me: Thanks, Good luck with that project, and have a great trip ;-)

NO REPLY SO FAR

 

That project thing was a complete BS to me. My gut feeling says that she went to that shopping mall, or did something else. Or maybe i am thinking too much ?

[mutualove]

I've known some girls in my life that would say they're not as comfortable when a guy tells them they're in love or want a relationship with them.It's messed up and I think describes commitmentphobe.

I'd say she's that kind of person and as long as there's no romance or "official" romance involved you two are closer than ever but as soon as you address the elephant it's done.

However you should know her better so let us know how things turn out.

[Jack1987]

I agree with what you say, though i may have asked her to come to the movies with me, in a more friendly way. Now that she is going tomorrow for her vacations. I have no means of contacting her, i have no facebook, her sim card won't work there and the only means i have is to SnapChat her.

 

Since i know her friend Lisa and since she is my classfellow and her best friend. She would know a lot of things. My best advance is to approach her. I did that before and the only two things i got from her was that Emma thinks, ''I am the coolest guy in the UK and she likes me'' now the question which i didn't ask, as a friend or potentially something more (I will ask Lisa more about this). Lisa also told me that Emma's last relationship really broke her apart. She was completely in love with this guy, who kept on cheating on her, after giving him multiple chances and him still cheating on her, she finally broke up with him. Its been more than 8 or 9 months now. I don't know if she got over him or not. Lisa told me not to tell her this and yeah Emma hasn't mentioned this to me. But yet again i asked Lisa what does it have to do with me ? And her behavior...

 

Now that Emma would be gone by tomorrow, i will get the chance to ask Lisa many questions. I would not make it obvious to her that i like her a lot and i am crazy about her. But i would approach her and ask her questions like these: Does she do the things what she is doing with me with other guys ? (She doesn't do it when i am there, it's just me so far what i know) Does she like me as a friend or more ? Why is she acting like this and just towards me ? If she is interested in me in any way, should i ask her out ? What do you suggest ?

 

Now clearly Lisa can hit me up with 2 options. Either she is interested and then i would ofcourse ask her out, but if she this time refuses when she comes back from her vacation, i would just completely avoid her and try my best to move on.

 

If she is not interested, i would move on from there. And if she still continues to carry on whatever she does when we are out. I will point it out to her. That whatever she is trying to do is childish and is wasting both of our times and i know what she is upto and i would personally just say it on her face, ''Why are you like this ?'' That might break the ice.

 

Emma and me were already planning to go to a concert and Lisa wanted to come as well but i know Lisa won't. But i just don't want to buy those tickets yet unless i know something is going or not. Emma's behavior is also strange, she never talks about other guys infront of me, that he is cute or whatever, she acts as if i am the only guy present there and giving me her full 100 % attention. I may have acted rude towards her last week, and to be honest and i feel sad about it, i was talking to other girls at the bar, ignoring her, avoiding her and being mean towards her. Till the point she came and sat next to me and said, why are you angry ? I replied calmly stating, that i wasn't. Even though she still sticked around me the entire night. That same night when i got kicked out, she came with me, leaving all the other members of our group behind, even her best friend and came to another bar with me. And after an hour or so when she asked me should we leave, i just told her to leave if she wanted to, i am not coming, she asked me twice and i say ok go leave. She left but after a minute or two she came back, saying, i am seriously leaving now and i again said the same words. I feel sad about my behavior and i promise to make things right.

 

But since i mentioned my group of friends here, she knows all of them but, she hangs around her best friend a lot, she doesn't mostly speak with anyone else from my group of friends, just me, her best friend and three others. Could this be that she just feels comfortable around me and sees me as a friend that she can have fun with ? I don't know. It could be it but ... Why doesn't she talk about guys and all that to show me that she is not interested. I just don't know what is wrong with that girl.

[mutualove]

Don't ask Lisa anything.And I'm telling you this based on personal experience.

Wait for Emma to come back and ask her without beating the bush at the first chance you get.

Also stop analyzing and wait for the moment to come.See ya in a month.

[Jack1987]

Alright thanks a lot, i would post back in a month. But one last thing, should i keep contact with her while she is away ? I don't have facebook, as i mentioned, nor would her sim card work over there. So the only means of contact is by snapchat. I know she might not snap me back maybe i could snap her a couple of times around new years etc.

[Jack1987]

I don't think that is really the case mate, i think she likes me of course but i think as a friend and cares about me. Maybe I am wrong but the way I am thinking is that she never contacts me, and I just contact her once a week, I am not direct with her when asking her out, maybe I am the one that is sending her mixed signals, maybe it's her who is and just wants to be friends. I will find out in a month when she comes back and try to approach her after a few weeks when she returns to see what the matter is really. Even if she likes me there is a possibility that she might be losing interest in me due to my behaviour... I will have more to tell in a month !