polynomial Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 If so, how did your dumpee act? Did they go no contact or begged you to take them back for weeks afterwards? Also, how did their (re)actions made *you* feel? Were you annoyed by their begging? Were you annoyed they could keep NC so easily? Would love to hear some stories from the other side!
2fargone Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 I have been. But when I was, I was certain of my decision. I didn't care about actions, contact or no contact. I would however remain civil and honest. Also, when I was the dumper it would be within 2-3 months of starting a relationship. The time I needed to make a fair assesment. Not after a year or more....
ponchsox Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 In my last relationship I was the dumper and dumpee. When I dumped her, she cried and acted like she was devastated. We ended up meeting later that day and reconciled. Three months ago when I was the dumpee, I was hurt initially but quickly realized she did me a favor because the relationship was going down hill.
Haydn Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Yes i am afraid to say when i was 18 and went to uni, i became a bit of a cad and had a highly inflated opinion about myself. I was popular with the ladies (Oh the very thought these days!) I dumped and broke a few hearts. I was pestered by one or 2 and at first i loved it. But then it always became worrying and stalkerish. So i can imagine how some of our dumpers have felt about us! I guess this could be a kind of karma for hurting people in the past. Boy someone up there really put me through it! But having said i was never considered myself a hurtful or heartless guy. I always loved each woman i met. As i got older most relationships died a natural death. But this last one........Ohhhh it burns.... 1
somedude81 Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Interesting thread. No, I've never dumped a girl, though I've only been in one relationship so far.
Fangorn Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Well I'm only 22 and my last relationsip began when I was 18 so I've not had much experience on the matter. My most recent break up technically I told her to take a walk but she cheated on me and wanted to go sleep around anyway so while I like to convince myself it's at least blurred lines, it isn't. I was also a pretty ****ty teenager, I never had the heart to dump girls so I usually just ignored them until they went away or acted out until they dumped me. Thankfully I managed to make reparations with most of my exes and still talk to all of them as friends except for the most recent as it's only been a month and well, **** her.
cavalier99 Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 (edited) I have been the dumper after some short tem relationships. It is very easy to move on. Almost immediate. Also it is pretty easy to reamin civil. Becuase you arnt in pain, the idea of being friendy seems normal. I always took the perspective that it is up to the dumpee to decide to go NC and recover. Ill help them along by not breaking NC for the most part. It just depends on the person and relationship. If i felt that they were really in pain or they were being a pian in the ass i woudnt respond at all to communication. If it was a more casual relationship sometimes id respond because i figured that if they are ok with contact what is the big deal. Im not their phsycolgist and need to determine how recovered they are ecetera. we are all adults not children. This is why i dont blame dumpers for reaching out sometimes or responding. It is the dumpee that is all messed up in the head and has endless analysis over a happy bday text or how are you text. WE are reponsible for our recovery and blocking them ecetera until we are emontioally strong enought to consider any contact if ever. OUR RECOVEY IS OUR RESPONSIBILTY. They might be selfish by reaching out. Alleviating guilt. Keeping us as a backup option ecetera. But i dont blame them for this because it is on me if i permit it. That is why we go NC for us. Cav Edited December 15, 2013 by cavalier99
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