gregory smythe Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 hi, i was wondering if someone could give me a bit of advice. a couple of hours ago my girlfriend kicked me out of her apartment because i awoke and couldn't get back to sleep. at first i didn't want to get up out of bed because i didn't want to disturb her but after two hours lying awake staring at the ceiling i was bored beyond belief. i got up quietly, let her know i couldn't sleep and that i was going to read in the main room until morning. about 20 minutes later she got up out of bed, started getting really mad at me - shouting, working herself into an emotional state, accusing me of disturbing her (i was sitting silently reading the entire time) - and told me she would like me to leave immediately. she said i was being selfish to her by depriving her of her sleep (i really can't emphasize how much i was sitting silent reading the entire time enough!) and i left. has anyone experienced a situation before? am i wrong to feel a bit confused and frustrated over this? is this normal?
incelveteran Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 And this is just one prime example of why I don't date. Because you can't sleep? How petty. (although if you kicked her out because she couldn't sleep, it would be another story of course). The bad news is there's only one cure and it's unpleasant. Actually the cure for this would be more beneficial rather than unpleasant.
incelveteran Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Breaking up is hard to do. Perhaps. But in situations where it would benefit the OP, it's also perhaps a priority and make it easier by realising that he must.
Author gregory smythe Posted December 15, 2013 Author Posted December 15, 2013 thanks for the advice so far everyone. she phoned a couple of minutes ago because we had to arrange something for today. apparently she didn't do anything wrong last night and that i was annoyed at her... who knew.
CrystalCastles Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 I think I know who needs to be crowned "Drama Queen of the Year" *cough* *cough* 1
Poppyolive Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Thats totally lame! You should do the same to her next time...one move in the bed next to you and kick her out. Kidding...don't!
incelveteran Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 apparently she didn't do anything wrong last night and that i was annoyed at her. Oh of course. Then has a midnight drama class screaming and kicking over something pettier than spilt milk, then kicks you out over the tiniest thing...then claims she did nothing wrong? And tried to shed it on you by saying "you were annoyed with her". What you talkin bout willis?
lamaga Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Wow, everyone, chill. Did she have an important day the next day? Did she have an exam or had to get up early for something where she needed to be sharp and rested? I can very much understand where she is coming from. I dated a guy who had insomnia and who would always be very active at night, kinda like a cat, and would move around, get up go to the toilet, etc, until eventually I told him once to sleep on the couch, since I had an important test the next day where I really needed my sleep the night before. He didn't understand it and made a huge scene, then HE left, because he was pissed at me for not letting him sleep in my bed. So, I think, one needs to consider the circumstances. Do you live far from her? That's another issue, perhaps.. But nevertheless, tell her that you felt mistreated, and tell her that perhaps from now on she should tell you in advance if she'd like you to sleep over or not.
soccerrprp Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 has anyone experienced a situation before? am i wrong to feel a bit confused and frustrated over this? is this normal? sort of....my late wife! i should have known better b/c I know she really enjoys and NEEDS her sleep. the mistake i made and you, was waking her up and telling her that you couldn't sleep and was going to the other room. frankly, if I was someone who cherished his sleep and my SO found it necessary to wake me up to tell me that she couldn't sleep, I may be a little perturbed too. anyway, it sounds like she certainly over-reacted.
Vogeltron Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Go sleep on the couch or something like that you are bugging me I kinda understand. Telling you to leave that is just uncalled for. Sounds like you tried to do the right thing and she freaked out. That does sit in the realm of crazy woman for me. I mean if she told you to quiet the F down or whatever, even if it wasn't warranted so be it. But to get the F' out. I don't know how much you like this girl but this is the kinda thing I wouldn't even bother picking up my phone or answering any messages. 1
somedude81 Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 The only possible fault I see that you may have done is woken her up to tell her that you couldn't sleep and were getting out of bed. 1
StanMusial Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Dang imagine her reaction when you really screw up.
soccerrprp Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Dang imagine her reaction when you really screw up. Nah, not entirely. My late wife was a bear if she didn't get her sleep. Lol! But, outside of that, she was one of the most elegant, even-tempered person I've known. Some people NEED their sleep.
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Assuming there isn't more to the story (I think there could be but we have to take it at face value), she's a nutjob. I'm a light sleeper too but I would never fathom having such an outlandish reaction to my partner getting out of bed. Does she tend to be overly dramatic in general? I can't imagine a normal, level-headed person having such an extreme outburst over something so silly.
Philosopher Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Stories like this make me think that sometimes it is better to remain single and not bother with all that dating stuff. Have you investigated why she was acting the way she did, was she stressed for some reason or does she frequently act in that way?
bubbaganoosh Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Breaking up is hard to do. Someone even wrote a song about it Neil Sedaka. Breaking Up is Hard To Do
bubbaganoosh Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 thanks for the advice so far everyone. she phoned a couple of minutes ago because we had to arrange something for today. apparently she didn't do anything wrong last night and that i was annoyed at her... who knew. You should have told her that you were sleeping when she called and she woke you up and hung up on her. 1
crederer Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Sometimes when I first wake up but still tired (i.e get woken up unexpectedly) I can be super cranky for basically no reason. However, I'd feel bad about it later and not blame you for it, as she apparently did later in the day. 1
StanMusial Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Sometimes when I first wake up but still tired (i.e get woken up unexpectedly) I can be super cranky for basically no reason. However, I'd feel bad about it later and not blame you for it, as she apparently did later in the day. Yeah me too, but I'm too tired and sleepy to throw a conniption over it.
Under The Radar Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Sounds like she has control and anger issues ...... not good.
spiderowl Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 She is obviously very rigid about routine. Some people are inflexible like this. Personally, I couldn't live with someone so rigid as my routine is more flexible. She was being unreasonable too, but people who are routine-driven are like that because they can't cope with anything else. Unless you want to face this on a regular basis - if you can't sleep, or are sick or something - you'd be better off finding someone more relaxed.
MrMeh Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 So if you have to let one loose, do you just wait?
Shepp Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Why couldn't she sleep? Did you have a light on or something? I do think her reaction was a tad bonkers!! God knows what she'd do to me!! I toss, turn & talk all night in my sleep.
FitChick Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 That is why for centuries rich people slept in separate bedrooms. Only the poor riffraff huddled together in one bed to keep warm.
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