montykatzy Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 I'd been dating this woman for about a year. It was an on/off relationship, which I attribute to her being quite bipolar. However, the relationship was perfect, and we brought out the best in one another. We ended around 6/7 months ago, because we were fighting too much over nothing. She explained that this was the final one. However two days later she texts me saying 'I miss our times together so much' and then we go in a fight and she told me to forget about it. Her friends kept telling me that she loved me still, so I didn't really get over her. The random texts came from me and her over the next few months. My texts were normally angry, vengeful texts, while hers were normally reminiscent and 'I still love you' type messages. However each conversation normally ended in fights and we would stop talking for a few weeks. There as a party we were both invited to, and I caught her looking for me once or twice. She tried to flirt with my mates, but they told her to go away. Her friends also came up to me, and began punching me and calling me rude things, and I didn't know why. Also, when I left, I was told she began crying (not sure if the two events were related) and kept asking to see me and speak to me. Finally, about a week ago, I texted her after we had had a fight, in the morning. I just wanted to talk to her as I had had a horrible day. She told me to leave her alone so I did. An hour later, I recieve a text from her saying 'I had a horrible nightmare where you were kissing another girl, and I screamed and killed myself'. I talked to her calmly, and stupidly told her that I would never want to be with the girl in question. She began telling me that she wanted to properly work for the relationship, and that she would do anything for me. She said, and I quote 'We will fight, but I will still love you. I may say I don't, I may tell you to forget about it (I guess this was about us being together), but I will still love you.' This of course kind of swept me off my feet. She really wanted this! So we began talking again. It all went well, for a few days. She works at a logistics company, and I'm still in education, so we didn't really see much of eachother physically. Anyway, she would normally text me 'goodmorning honey' or something like that, but a few days after her proclamation of love, I got nothing. No texts whatsoever. So I texted her later in the day, and I got one word replies, or really blunt and rude replies. She didn't tell me she loved me anymore. It carried on for a few days, she would talk to me about some guys at work (she knew I was really insecure, and she would try make it sound bad, I think to make me jealous. She would then get angry and tell me to go away), then she would get happy out of the blue, and talk to me about her dads new tattoo, and football and tv and stuff. Last Monday, she didn't text me at all, so I asked her 'If I don't text you, will we just not talk?' She replied saying probably not, she was too busy. She told me that she had issues at work and at home, but would refuse to tell me. She told me that I didn't deserve to know, and that she didn't want to tell anyone, but she used to always confide in me. This got me rather annoyed. In any case, we started talking, and she was continually blunt. She had been with a few people while we were broken up (this really annoyed me, but this was my greatest weakness (sexual insecurity)), so I asked her if she could have an STI's, since we would be having sex when we get back. She told me 'we won't be having sex, but no'. This really annoyed me, as she was quite renown as a person who likes sex. Of course I would not push her, but I didn't think she didn't want sex at all, ever. We got into a big fight about it. Needless to say, she told me 'I don't want to get back together with you, I don't want any type of relationship with you'. When I brought up the things she said previously about always loving me, she told me that she was probably lying, and to never contact her again (bear in mind that she has said this before, and would always contact me sooner or later). She also told me that the past week had reminded her about all she didn't like about me. I tried to be kind to her, and we barely fought, so I didn't understand. The thing that annoyed me was her saying that she lied about the loving me part. I texted her a day later, demanding an explanation for what she meant, but she told me to go away, as she did not want to speak to me. She told me she would simply stop replying to me. I left her alone, but my mate asked me about her, and whether she was coming to his party. I texted her today asking about it, she gave me an answer. I made a stupid mistake of then saying 'Thanks for the bollocking you gave me on Saturday'. She then said 'goodbye, I don't want to talk to you'. Then again we had another fight, and told me I'm pathetic, which really hurt. That was it. What do you all make of this? I know it's a long read, and most of it may seem ridiculous, but I am so perplexed. I cannot stop thinking about her, and what she told me about her loving me no matter what. What should I do? Thank you.
Dam Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 I went through something simillar with my ex. Now we are broken up and she told me she doesn't love me anymore,but two weeks before she did ,3 weeks before she didn't...you get me... The thing is ,the best thing I might suggest is to leave her alone for a while,lets say a month or two,for you to recover,to be emotionally prepared to talk to her again,now you aren't since anything she says makes you confused(i'm like this too right now) and maybe later try to talk to her. Not talking to her is hard but it gives you back your strenght and gives you time to work on yourself. Try to talk to other girls,boost your confidence,maybe you will actually meet someone new that you like more,but nothing bad can come out of it,even more you might make her jealous if she finds out. But try to leave her alone for a while as hard as it may be and focus on becoming a better person. 1
Author montykatzy Posted December 23, 2013 Author Posted December 23, 2013 I went through something simillar with my ex. Now we are broken up and she told me she doesn't love me anymore,but two weeks before she did ,3 weeks before she didn't...you get me... The thing is ,the best thing I might suggest is to leave her alone for a while,lets say a month or two,for you to recover,to be emotionally prepared to talk to her again,now you aren't since anything she says makes you confused(i'm like this too right now) and maybe later try to talk to her. Not talking to her is hard but it gives you back your strenght and gives you time to work on yourself. Try to talk to other girls,boost your confidence,maybe you will actually meet someone new that you like more,but nothing bad can come out of it,even more you might make her jealous if she finds out. But try to leave her alone for a while as hard as it may be and focus on becoming a better person. My ex gets insanely jealous... She got really sad almost to the point of crying when she saw me with another girl at a party! I tried texting her about 2 days ago, and got no reply after an hour (I didn't check after that as I was on a plane) Also I find it difficult to see her side as I was told she slept with a random guy she met at a party around 2 months ago... It made me so angry and she said she was sorry about it but it should not be a dealbreaker, as we aren't together
Author montykatzy Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Bumping I'm still not sure about her, the only person I can talk to about this hates her, so I'm relying on you guys
xUnknown Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Bumping I'm still not sure about her, the only person I can talk to about this hates her, so I'm relying on you guys Listen to Dam's advice....give her some time. Let things cool off between you two.
Downtown Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 It was an on/off relationship, which I attribute to her being quite bipolar.Monty, why do you say she is "quite bipolar"? Was she diagnosed as such by a psychologist or psychiatrist? If so, was it bipolar 1 or bipolar 2? I ask because some of the behaviors you describe are not characteristic of bipolar.
Author montykatzy Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 @ xUnknown I have, I don't speak to her now anyway as I am abroad, but I'm just trying to get maybe a females perspective on what she's feeling.. I don't know, I'm trying to make sense of it all. I won't contact her though, I'll wait for her to contact me, as she normally does. @Downtown She hasn't been diagnosed, but I don't know how else to describe her behaviour. She did go counselling, and she does have some sort of issues, but I'd feel bad telling anyone what she's told me in confidence. Sorry for jumping to conclusions, I'm no shrink In any case, thanks guys and gals. I guess I'll just leave her alone, I want me and her to someday work out, and I feel as if there is still a strong connection between us, but I'll let her come to a conclusion on her own. I have a life to attend to! It's just worrying thinking about how she's probably out there right now hooking up with a guy, while I'm typing this, only an hour or so from the new year. Happy New Year people, you're all great
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