I'm a catfish. should I confess?

[roberts56]

Hi

 

i know u r all going to have a go and i deserve it.

 

long story short i've been speaking to a girl for about 9 months. ive used real pictures, spoke on the phone. we get along so well and my personality is what she knows, as are my looks .

 

but some parts of my life i havn't told her about (its not like i'm married or anything like that). basically health problems.

 

so im just not the man she thinks i am.

 

now she has really fallen for me and i for her. so i dont want to hurt her. i don't want to take away the dream she has of me that she holds onto so much.

 

it's not that i'm scared to tell her for me, even if it means she cuts me off, it's that i don't want to ruin in her eyes what we had the last 9 months. i know ive helped her thu a lot and boosted her confidence etc so i dont want her to lose the gains shes made because she thinks the person helping her hasnt been quite real.

 

so i dont know whether to confess it all or just carry on. its not as if we are going to meet in person anyway.

 

any advice would be great

 

thankx

[CarrieT]

You will feel better if you confess. Just continuing the lie or disappearing will always haunt you.

[Grumpybutfun]

Robert:

What you are describing isn't catfishing. You are withholding personal health information. She does need to know that so she can know the entire you. The sooner you tell her the better, and yes, you need to tell her soon. Make sure you like her, and are not just into being her white knight. If you feel like you can't share parts of yourself that isn't perfect, then you may be trying to save her, not have a relationship with her.

Best,

Grumps

[roberts56]

thanks for the reply grumpybutfun

 

it's not just that i want to be a white knight, i really do like her too. but im so concerned with damaging her from revealing it.

 

if i tell her do u think i just tell her the basic detail or go all out and tell her and explain how i hope it doesnt change things with us?

[roberts56]

I know i would feel better.

 

but i just worry about its affect on her.

[melodymatters]

This is an anonymous forum. I think we could give you better advice if you told us to what degree this " deception" goes. You might be over thinking it !

[Iguanna]

If you don't plan on ever meeting her, what is the point?

[plethora]

What are your health problems?

[Poppyolive]

if you're not going to meet in person then you could carry on not saying anything. But because you've brought it up here its obviously something thats on your mind, weighing heavily on your heart. Imagined you've told her and shes open & accepting (which I feel she will) how would you feel? Better? Weight lifted? Happier? It may come as a shock to her...and if so she'll need time to figure things out/work through it, but I do know if you have something warm, lovely, supportive and fresh between you...that doesn't change. Good luck.

[justwhoiam]

I suspect there is more than you wanted to share on here. What exactly didn't you tell about yourself?

 

Are you on a wheelchair? Without legs? Are you bipolar or with double/triple personality issues? Whatever it is, it's best you tell her ASAP.

 

If you want to tell more, you might help us giving you our best advice.