AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 So it is not uncommon anymore, for me, especially if I have taken a quiz or uploaded a photo, to come back a few hours later and find that I have anywhere between 80-150 new visitors. Above and beyond sort of mentally feeling like I've been attacked :-p by a hoard, it almost becomes less than useful. Obviously I don't have the time to be able to look at each man's profile, even if I winnow down to the ones that are actually geographically near me. I mean, yes, the boost to the ego is nice, but it is almost too much information to be able to sort through, and the greatest likelihood is that I am dismissing some men who would be great for me based on personal preferences on the physical level that really aren't that important or meaningful. Anyone else have this issue and have any idea how to counteract it?
CarrieT Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 Anyone else have this issue and have any idea how to counteract it? I was in the same boat and there is no way to counteract it, but to accept it. Wait for them to contact you and start convos with those who manage to touch something in you in which you find potential. Remember, it is a numbers game so a LOT of trawling goes on and all 80 to 150 of those visitors are not potentials at all - just 2% or so... 2
FitChick Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 if I have taken a quiz or uploaded a photo, to come back a few hours later and find that I have anywhere between 80-150 new visitors. I don't have the time to be able to look at each man's profile I am dismissing some men who would be great for me based on personal preferences on the physical level that really aren't that important or meaningful. I don't see the problem. If they have only looked at your profile and not contacted you, do nothing until they contact beyond "hi" which would show they are somewhat interested. I thought physical attraction meant the difference between wanting to date someone and wanting to just be friends. If looks aren't important to you, then there is no problem.
jba10582 Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 The short time I was on OLD, I did have dates and conversations with some women but felt it felt superficicial for some and of the three I did date (which became less superficicial), only one was, imo, worth a second a date, and even then, I didn't treat it very seriously, and oddly enough none of them flaked. However, from your perspective, I actually understand that it would become difficult in choosing who to communicate with. is this called cognitive dissonance?, kind of like where you go get a snow cone or ice cream and there are 800 flavors and you don't know which one to pick because there are too many choices... A dilema, but, I guess it becomes easier if you truly know what you want to begin with.
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 The short time I was on OLD, I did have dates and conversations with some women but felt it felt superficicial for some and of the three I did date (which became less superficicial), only one was, imo, worth a second a date, and even then, I didn't treat it very seriously, and oddly enough none of them flaked. However, from your perspective, I actually understand that it would become difficult in choosing who to communicate with. is this called cognitive dissonance?, kind of like where you go get a snow cone or ice cream and there are 800 flavors and you don't know which one to pick because there are too many choices... A dilema, but, I guess it becomes easier if you truly know what you want to begin with. Not really. I know exactly what I want. Shy, introvert, intelligence, and I wouldn't mind a little HSP on the side. :-) Problem is, you can't tell all of that from a picture.
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 I don't see the problem. If they have only looked at your profile and not contacted you, do nothing until they contact beyond "hi" which would show they are somewhat interested. I thought physical attraction meant the difference between wanting to date someone and wanting to just be friends. If looks aren't important to you, then there is no problem. According to some research Ive seen, supposedly women who contact men get better men and have more choices than women who don't. Once initial contact has been made though, I find it beneficial to switch to more evolutionary established patterns (in letting those who prefer to persue, do the persuing). I take it is as the equivalent as smiling at a guy who you're pretty sure wants to talk to you, to let him know that you're "game" (oh God, I did not mean that with the double entrendre it sounding like, given the pursueing/hunting imagery above!!!)
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 I fail to see the problem here. Could you elaborate?
elbe Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 This post kicks the men of OLD while they are down.
Under The Radar Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 Not really. I know exactly what I want. Shy, introvert, intelligence, and I wouldn't mind a little HSP on the side. :-) Problem is, you can't tell all of that from a picture. HSP on the side? In my line of work that means: Hand Stand Pushup Hopefully, one of these guys you meet in the OLD world is proficient in the handstand pushup AND is a highly sensitive person .
Iguanna Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 If I were you I wouldn't care about the ones that looked at my profile (cause for me these are the ones who have no life and just sit there and look at every new entry's profile) but I would search for men according to where I live, the age, the status (divorced, never married etc), some mutual hobbies and I'd go from there. 1
elbe Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 I seriously fail to see the problem.. you are complaining for having too many options?
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 HSP on the side? In my line of work that means: Hand Stand Pushup Hopefully, one of these guys you meet in the OLD world is proficient in the handstand pushup AND is a highly sensitive person . Personal trainer? And exactly that is what I mean. How did you know that? Not a lot of people do.
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 This post kicks the men of OLD while they are down. With my main problem being that I might be dismissing perfectly good men who might be a good match for me due to the large number? That this bugs me? How? How is this kicking the men of OLD? How is trying to find a way for that NOT to happen kicking them, even metaphorically speaking?
elbe Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 So it is not uncommon anymore, for me, especially if I have taken a quiz or uploaded a photo, to come back a few hours later and find that I have anywhere between 80-150 new visitors. 1/150 per DAY is awful odds. I'm not blaming you though it sounds like you are just trying to weed through them.
Under The Radar Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 Personal trainer? And exactly that is what I mean. How did you know that? Not a lot of people do. Because I like handstand pushups AND I'm a highly sensitive person. Any tips to improve MY handstand pushups? Well, on second thought, don't waste time giving me advice ...... use it to scroll through those dating profiles. Remember, you don't have to rush in reading and ultimately selecting people to meet up with ...... Take your time! Good Luck . 1
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 This is a pretty pretentious post: I have too many people chasing me. Dude. Visiting isn't messaging. This isn't pretentious. This isn't about my ego. This is about trying to strategize for solutions to a problem. And in fact, in real life partially because I am so shy, NOBODY is chasing me. okay. And thanks for rubbing that one in. Hence the need to go online in the first place.
Author AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 Because I like handstand pushups AND I'm a highly sensitive person. Any tips to improve MY handstand pushups? Well, on second thought, don't waste time giving me advice ...... use it to scroll through those dating profiles. Remember, you don't have to rush in reading and ultimately selecting people to meet up with ...... Take your time! Good Luck . If I could do a handstand push up, perhaps I could give you advice. :-) Perhaps you could tell me how to do one. : Taking weeks to go through a single evening's number of visitors just sounds like an exhausting task. But I do get your point.
Mascara Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 Ignore the men who are jumping on this post. Women can never post about the problems of Internet dating without them coming on and complaining that they wish they had that problem. How many of those visitors are converting to messages?
Mascara Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 On this thread yes, because it's about OLD from a woman's perspective. And they always get hijacked.
Mascara Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Then feel free to start a thread about that.
xxoo Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 If a visit isn't a message, it is meaningless. Whether it is 2 or 200, unless there is a message, does it matter? 2
xxoo Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 ^ Wow. I usually take it as a possible sign of interest. At the least, I'll look their profile over to see if there was compatibility there (or if there was some incompatibility stopping her from messaging me), and drop a short line if so. Could be a missed opportunity... you never know. As you should. A woman who visits has set herself apart from the crowd. But as you can see from the posts here, women get a lot of visitors. A man who messages sets himself apart from the crowd. 1
jba10582 Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 you could go on a few dates as practice runs, maybe they'll turn out good and you'll find someone you like. it is definately a way to face your fear of shyness head on. ultimately you have a good problem, and it probably won't turn out to be as much work as painting a house or something...you know, home depot has tons of different colors, and, if you dont get that right then you'll have to either settle for it ,or, do it all over again, and nobody wants that! So, make it a fun experience and go with the flow.
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