How do men in their mid 20s react to random Facebook Requests from females?

[Raven1018]

I had a summer class with this guy but I never really spoke to him. I kinda slacked during the summer and didn't go to class all that much so we never had personal conversation.

 

I am 22 he is 24...were in college.

I feel things were much easier when you are a teenager regarding this type of thing....boys are easily flattered and not as easily creeped out. If we were 15 and I requested him he'd probably be stoked that a girl is talking to him. But we are adults .....people at this age read too much into things. I think he might find it creepy that I am requesting him 4 months later.

 

Or think I am in love with him or something and that he has a big upper had on me. I just find him really attractive and he is an out of state student like me so that caught my attention.

 

We don't have any mutual friends so I can't pretend I found him on chance.

 

Should I just forget about this?

 

I feel people will say guys love attention and to go for it, without thinking to themselves how they would actually feel if it happened to them. If a guy I hardly knew and only saw in a summer class requested me after 4 months, I might find it odd. Wouldnt you? Im just playing devils advocate. Even if he were attractive I would find it odd. Dont get me wrong I would still accept him and be happy about it but I would wonder how long he has been stalking my page for him to just request me out of nowhere 4 months after the class has ended, especially with no mutual friends.

 

I caught him staring at me a few times in class, so Im hoping that works in my favor but it could have just been by chance. Sometimes I stare at people I dont find attractive.

 

I have not seen him in school this semester and think he may have graduated, so I have not had another chance to see him in person.

 

I just randomly thought about him because he said he was an out of state student and the funny thing is I used to live in that state for a long time and am probably going back this summer. When I was thinking of my summer 2014 plans I randomly thought of the hot guy I met during my Summer 2013 class, lol.

 

Its not like Im going to request him and send him an automatic message like hey im going to be in the same area this summer, wanna hang? lol we hardly know each other! but if we get to talking and convo goes well I dont see why not

 

I have not seen him since August and even then I think we might have said two words to each other in class.

 

Uggh. I feel like this just shouts creeper status. Im sure he will be wondering why I remember him.

 

 

If you vote that I should request him:

 

Since we dont really know each other, to request him and then not message him is weird. I hate when people do that to me. If I dont really know you and you request me I'd at least like you to say something instead of just lingering on my friend's list. Thats just common etiqutte. So of course I have to message him. I would hope he'd message me first! But guys can be shy ..... and he might be expecting me to message him if I am the one who requested him. I feel some might say the state we have in common might be a good opening thing but I dont feel thats a good convo starter. It might be good to mention later if the convo is running smoothly but Im not just going to start with "hey person who I met in August I requested you because Im going to be in ______ in a few months and I remember from our 2 second convo 4 months ago that you live there!".

 

If that happened to me all types of things would be running through my head like how this person even remembers my full name.....

 

C'mon guys help me out here this needs to be coy!!!!

 

But if you think its too weird and that I should just take a loss on this one and not request him, you can say that too. I dont want to be that desperate girl. I just have a good memory. Especially for cute boys I meet in boring summer classes =p

[Keenly]

If you sent him a message telling him you had a bit of a crush on him and would like to meet him, it would take all of this anxiety away and give you a pretty clear yes or no.

[ShyGuy5]

I am 22 and I would love to get a request from certain girls in my class. I wouldn't find it creepy, but thats probably because I am very observant and know most of my classmates names even though I haven't talked to them. You are at the time though where you could message him and say something to the extent of glad we got that class over with during the summer it made this semester easier, how have you been. I would be freaked out if it was a random name, but if it was a girl from class I would be all for it.

[Raven1018]

Hmmm....Im not sure if I am quite yet up for the totally straightforward approach...I dont even know if this guy has a girlfriend. When I was a bit younger it worked for me well. Getting who I wanted was as simple as telling them!! But men in their 20s have bigger egos and prefer games and the "chase". I feel there is certain tact and flirting/social etiquette expected in your 20s. We all know we have called someone of the opposite sex desperate before for doing something that made them appear too "eager". I fear this falls into that category.

 

@ShyGuy your approach would work except we really didnt talk like that. We have no mutual friends on FB. I feel odd using his last name that I just remember by chance to find him on the internet and then talk to him about our summer class like we're old pals who just spoke yesterday.

 

Though deep down, I feel some guys are still little boys who get giddy at a girl's attention lol. Ahh IDK what to do!!

[ShyGuy5]

 

Though deep down, I feel some guys are still little boys who get giddy at a girl's attention lol. Ahh IDK what to do!!

 

Guilty as charged. There are a few girls in my class that I haven't talked to, but I know their names and I would jump through the roof in joy if they sent me a request. If you like him enough that he is still on your mind, then I say go for it. Take into consideration that you can get away with this. A girl sending a request is harmless IMO, but when a guy does it, then it starts to get creepy, but thats just my opinion. I had a girl in my class that I never talked to because I was scared to mess up and I still regret it, don't be like me.

[Raven1018]

Hmmm okay, I MIGHT do it.

 

He's attractive though, im sure he has dealt with stalkerish girls just like attractive girls deal with stalker-ish guys. Attractive guys are a harder crowd.

 

How do I explain remembering his last name for 4 months and finding him without any mutual friends -____-

[Raven1018]

Sometimes I feel too old for this I really just feel like saying something simple "hey werent you in my summer class?" but that is WAY too obvious. I mean, if he requested me saying that I'd be glad but in my head I'd know it was not just by chance and he deliberately looked for me even after all this time and I would know I had the upper hand. Guys can be quite manipulative when they feel they have the upper hand

[ShyGuy5]

Name from class roster. Maybe something to the extent that you were thinking about the year and you really regret never talking to him during the class. You'd be surprised, sometimes people are so intimidated that no one approaches them and you actually have a much better chance if you take a chance. I always wonder if there are any girls out there that had a thing for me, but I never found out because they were waiting on me to make a move.

[Raven1018]

Maybe I will make up the good ole excuse that he popped up on my "suggested friends".

 

In class he did mention not being on FB much since it is not popular anymore....hopefully he is not FB savvy enough to know that random people that you have no connections to dont just randomly pop up on your "suggested friends" lol.

 

I'll have to think about it

[Coak]

I don't read the introduction and I just delete them. Anyone that randomly adds me equals spam. I like this "Boys are easily flattered"...Right. Guys YOU know are easily flattered, not everyone.

 

Just because someone looks at you doesn't mean they like you. Ever wandered your eyes in your class and caught the eyes of ten people or more? Chance. They weren't looking for you, it's just a coincidence.

 

Lastly, let me just end with saying... It sounds to me like you're the one that is flattered...

[Raven1018]

@Coak: You seem to be reacting with a hint of anger to the post I made in opposition to yours.

 

Yes I said boys are easily flattered. BOYS. The context was 15 year old boys in that sentence. Are you a 15 year old boy?

 

I can only speak from my experience and I stand by what I say.

[crederer]

I didn't read the whole post, but if you're adding him cause you're interested, why not just make it clear that you're interested in person? You don't even need to straight up tell him your interested, as long as you don't purposely hide it, most guys that aren't completely clueless can pick up on it.

[StanMusial]

You don't know if he has a gf or not. You don't know anything about him. Sounds like a bad idea to me. I'm not in my 20's, but I delete requests from people I don't know. I don't really use Facebook that much anyway.

[ShyGuy5]

Who cares if he deletes it, it's worth a shot. If you don't try, then you will never know.