Texting

[tricolors]

I'll say it right here:

 

Texting and e-mails can be baaaaaaaaaaaad for a relationship. You simply say WAY too much you wouldn't otherwise.

 

Those two things were basically the only ways me and my (now ex as of this week) girlfriend argued in. We should have never started e-mailing and texting.

[CrystalCastles]

I read something a while ago which said that people fall in love with a person during the spaces, the spaces or moments where there is no contact.

 

I second that. Because the moments of no contact leave you to your fantasies, and give you time to relive the sweet moments you experienced with your SO. It also gives you a chance to miss the person and build up some excitement for when you get to see them next.

[Leigh 87]

My boyfriend texts me in the morning usually or sometimes later, and then I respond.

 

We both seem to say things that make each other laugh. We love to laugh, so we send a few texts that get a few " haha's" out of each other. We don't joke around really, we just laugh at what he other is saying. Things seem funny to us a lot of the time.

 

So he will normally send me a text, and then we text one or two. Then later on he will call me.

 

Other times we text a little more, but it is never every HOUR, and we often go hours without needing to text.

 

I am enjoying how there is no set texting format we both follow! He can text in the morning, lunch time OR night.

 

It is a lot more exciting than the guys who would just text me morning until night

 

 

He just rang me, and after the phone call he texted " talk tonight darling"

 

Like when I got dropped him at the train station last week, he texted right away to say he had a good time and etc. Yet he dint blow up my phone after that initial " I had a great time, I am falling in love with you" text he sent me as soon as we parted ways. He texted me about 3 - 4 more times the entire day/night.

 

 

 

I am starting to enjoy how much better it is to date a guy that is not clingy or emotionally unbalanced.

 

He definitely shows me he is into me yet without the incessant texting habits.

 

 

 

I honestly light up when he texts, opposed to ... being like " hmm, gee, the 1ooth text from _____.... how exciting. Or not..."

[mishy]

I second that. Because the moments of no contact leave you to your fantasies, and give you time to relive the sweet moments you experienced with your SO. It also gives you a chance to miss the person and build up some excitement for when you get to see them next.

 

I agree, i think evyone needs to stop texting facebooking emailing, stop being in everyones face and slllooooowwwwwwww down.

 

Basically it was saying that people don't fall in love when they are together, but when they are apart. And that could be in the space of a day

[Leigh 87]

:(oh great, my ex FWB I think read this thread or something, and just sent me a snap chat of him crying.

 

for fcks sake.

 

I have a lot of empathy and feel awful knowing he is sad.

 

I have blocked his numbers but I am not sure how to block snap chat.

 

 

 

What should I do? It is hard to cut a person off who is upset and not check to see how they are doing:(:(

 

 

 

He says I am SO awful for leaving our FWB situation and finding a bf, when I told him I thought I would be single for years.

 

 

It is making me sick, that whole situation with him; one minute he would call me evil, among other awful things..

 

 

The next minute he sends me pics of him crying about me.

 

 

This is honestly eating away at me. I am not a robot and I do care about him a lot, he just annoys the sh*t out of me, with his stupid anecdotes about how my boyfriend surely isn't that nuts about me cos of the sunburn thing.

[The_Face]

From what I've read, it sounds like you may be relying too much on this guy to make you happy.

 

Perhaps you should find out what it is that's making you feel so dependent on constant communication/ routine texts.

 

Reading through some of your posts on this topic, it also seems your thoughts are all over the place.

 

You might want to step back from the dating scene for a while and find some healthy hobbies to keep yourself sane.

[Leigh 87]

Sigh.

 

Once again another person who assumes they know me.

QUOTE]

 

I think you are the one who is full of assumptions. I was simply trying to offer some constructive criticism, and advice.

 

Isn't that what you wanted?

 

 

sorry, I just really like this guy and we make each other happy, and it is a really stupid thought to just break up with a guy who seems serious about me.

 

 

Moreover, we spend only 50% of our time together, as he lives 4 hours away. We stay together a week, then leave each other for a week.

 

In our week or so apart I really love my life, full of friends and fun.

 

 

 

I blog a lot about my life and dating situations, and most people assume I write a lot because I am a psycho, they don't seem to grasp that I write about every little things about guys, whether or not I am into a guy or thinking about him much at all.

Edited December 16, 2013 by Leigh 87

[The_Face]

 

 

sorry, I just really like this guy and we make each other happy, and it is a really stupid thought to just break up with a guy who seems serious about me.

 

Great. Now we're getting somewhere.

 

You don't need to end things with him. Keep it going, if it's going well.

 

I do think your chances at a healthy relationship with this guy (or any guy) are much greater once there is less of an emphasis on small talk/ text messages on a daily basis. You won't risk coming across as clingy, demanding, or, dare I say it, psychotic. I am only saying these things based on what I've READ. I do not know you, none of us do. So if this response doesn't go over well with you, take a moment to remember most of us can only judge/ advise on what we've been told.

 

Whatever does happen with this particular relationship, try to enjoy the ride, however long it lasts. Hopefully, you walk away from it having learned something new, at the very least.

Edited December 16, 2013 by The_Face

[Leigh 87]

Great. Now we're getting somewhere.

 

You don't need to end things with him. Keep it going, if it's going well.

 

I do think your chances at a healthy relationship with this guy (or any guy) are much greater once there is less of an emphasis on small talk/ text messages on a daily basis. You won't risk coming across as clingy, demanding, or, dare I say it, psychotic. I am only saying these things based on what I've READ. I do not know you, none of us do. So if this response doesn't go over well with you, take a moment to remember most of us can only judge/ advise on what we've been told.

 

Whatever does happen with this particular relationship, try to enjoy the ride, however long it lasts. Hopefully, you walk away from it having learned something new, at the very least.

 

 

I absolutely agreed with everyone when they told me I was being manic and psycho worrying about how often he texted.

 

I had a long and proper think about texting, and decided you were all right. He doesn't even have to text me every day to be into me.

 

I do prefer once a day texts but there does not have to be a set pattern of his texting behaviour.

 

 

 

I did listen to peoples advice:p

[The_Face]

 

 

I did listen to peoples advice:p

 

 

I must have skimmed past that part.

 

It sounds like you've gotten all the answers you need on this topic.

 

Good for you.

[CrystalCastles]

Leigh you seem like you're the center of some kind of drama. This whole FWB story, guys crying for you, it's not a healthy situation. You sound like someone with low self-esteem, because you seem to relish the attention that this FWB and your bf give you. If the FWB meant nothing, which is what you seem to be pointing out a few times, then you wouldn't be talking about him. You seem to be enjoying his attention. If you had high self esteem you wouldn't be seeking validation from the FWB and you wouldn't care if he's upset or not (since actually that's his problem, not yours).

[Leigh 87]

also - I have travelled a lot and I have spoken to a LOT of people from entirely different cultures and back grounds.. I have lived overseas too.

 

What I get from all these myriad of different people, is that: many of the nice and confident ones STILL sometimes try to decipher their partners texting habits or lingo.

 

It is very common among healthy individuals I have met to love to blog all about their life, without being obsessed with the guy or friend in their blogs.

 

It is also common for a lot of people to at least worry about the texting thing just once.

 

 

 

I have been around a lot of different people before who have all done similar things I have; a lot of them simply enjoy talking about their love life a lot, or better still; blogging about it for all their friends to read!

 

 

 

I am seeing a therapist for emotional trauma of the past, so I have a professional I consult, in addition to having travelled a lot and been amongst enough different people to realise what the societal norms are in various places, pertaining to dating and personal relationships.

[Leigh 87]

I don't think my behavior is unhealthy.

 

I think it's perfectly reasonable to like someone so much after a first date that you don't want to date others and therfore become exclusive.

 

I was wondering about texting styled without dating. .. I have since forgotten about it.

 

I wrote a lot because I blog about people.

 

 

 

I havd very healthy relationships thanks. I have a high level of empathy and I make friends easily.