Texting

[OrangeSnack]

Leigh I've been a firm believer that there is a mate for everyone. If him not texting you is bothering you then obviously he can't be the one. I get it. You're a romantic and intense individual. Everyone is different and I just think you will need to find someone who shares the same intensity as you. Don't give up though. I'm sure you man had something come up. I'm somewhat like yourself. Stay in touch with the one I'm dating on a daily basis. Not necessarily chatting a storm but just give a sign that you're alive and well.

 

People who bash social media and don't text. Well that's your way of dating but I firmly believe that to be successful in today's world texting is.a must. Unfortunately it takes away the intimacy but you can't deny the fact that social media has made others fall in love.

 

So in other words. Work what's best for you. People should love you for who you are. The whole oh you shouldn't text on a daily basis because it makes you look needy is full of bs (IMO). If people can't respect that, next.

[ThatMan]

I have a story which is rather morbid and I apologize for that. I would not share this had I felt comfortable that you would choose to talk about 'your way' in a manner that's nurturing and safe. I do sincerely hope that you choose to talk about this with your therapist. As of yet you've failed to directly answer whether or not you'll talk with your therapist at all. But I also understand that we cannot force you to do anything. You are not obligated to do anything you don't want to.

 

I'm fairly well acquainted with escorts. There was one woman in particular who was stabbed, mugged, beaten, and raped several times. She was creating poor decisions that are destructive and unhealthy. And this is the furthest extreme of unhealthy behavior I have ever witnessed so I hope you can appreciate that I'm sharing this story with you. Whenever she was told that her behavior was destructive, she was unable to see it. No matter how many people cared about her, and collectively expressed concern, she could not acknowledge them. The end always justified the means and to her. Being intimate with anyone was the only thing that mattered.

 

You see, she had horrific experiences growing up, and is afflicted with something called histrionic personality disorder. To her, being the center of attention was the only thing that mattered, even at the harshest price. So she would continue being an escort and exclaim in her anger at everyone for shilling out their concerns.

 

You can safely say my way isn't working when I am single for years.

Leigh,

It broke my heart to know you feel this way. I've known far too many people who have justified jumping from one ****ty relationship to the next. People have tolerated and accepted mistreatment for weighing the scales based on whether or not they're alone. Happiness comes from within and not external things like a spouse, situations, and events. The fact that you shared this sentiment, in bold no less, freaks me out beyond belief. Because the woman in my story once told me those exact words. No matter how many of us tell you that this is destructive, only you can decide what to do. I hope you find the strength to speak with a therapist about this.

[Leigh 87]

Thatman, than you very much for your concern and the time you have taken in trying to help me better understand myself. I am awfully sorry to hear about the escort who was stabbed. I wish she had fully realised her potential instead of dying.

 

About romance, I do tell my female therapist these things:

 

- I do not enjoy a slow burn relationship, where two people take a good while after they meet to even figure out if they are all that into each other

- I believe you know right away if a person truly knocks your socks off

-I will not date the run of the mill, normal guys I meet that only elicit NORMAL emotions out of me; they are FRIENDS. I need to be INTO someone in THAT way, in order to date them. I need to be excited for their texts.

- I do not believe in continuing to date more people once you find a person you really like

- I do not date people I am not that into; if I feel the need to date other people, then none of the people I am dating are for me; I believe in knowing on date one if there is "Just something about" that person you have a huge urge to want to explore, well above and beyond seeing other people in order to "get to know them all" first before making a relationship orientated decision as to WHO you want to be exclusive with.

 

My therapist thinks the above is all normal. She tells me to find guys I am really into and who seem mutually into me and do not NEED to date others once they meet me, due to liking me too much to WANT to date around.

She also gives me strategies to avoid investing; she taught me there is a difference between investing REAL emotions, and getting carried away with the romance fluff.

So, I have not gotten that cut about my last two guys disappearing after they pretended to fall head over heels for me, as I didn't invest any real emotions, but rather just allowed myself to go after the butterflies and romance I am seeking, without putting much stock in the outcome.

 

I don't think it is destructive to NOT date people you are not that into, and rather, have to grow to like over time before you even consider being exclusive.

Multi dating is not to every ones taste. I have tried it. There was always that guy I liked the most and who's texts I looked forward to, where as I would not care if any other guys texted.

 

I also tell her that I need a guy to treat me well, and I need to get to know him well before investing.

So even though me and my boyfriend have decided to try for something special, as HE calls it (HIS words not mine), in the form of a fledging relationship, it does NOT mean I am much invested.

It means I am really into him, he seems really into me, yet we don't know each other well enough to invest any true emotions.

 

The last two guys I was upset for a day then got over it. I am very accustomed and very prepared for guys I don't know yet fall hard for, to disappear or fade; or just not end up being that into me.

 

 

 

I don't actually mind falling hard and fast for a guy, since I am more than willing to deal with any consequences!

 

 

 

Multi dating and going days without texting is not everyone style. I see plenty of success for women who are like me in dating.

[Leigh 87]

You misunderstood me.

 

I am happy single. When single, I am not on edge looking for a partner.

 

Having a loving relationship is ideal, but it doesn't have to happen any time soon.

 

Look, I am not winning any beauty contest, however; I have a LOT of decent men interested in me, most women in their 20's do. They are good boys who treat women well, yet I have turned a lot of men down even though they were lovely people and I was compatible with them insofar as my values are concerns.

 

I can assure you that I do not date for the hell of it. I truly wait until I feel something special with someone to even GO on a date to begin with:lmao:

 

Or online, I go on ONE date and do not follow it up unless I am really feeling it with them...

 

I wait until I am really really taken by someone, to date.

 

My downfall is that I jump too fast into relationships with men I am taken with.

 

It is not the relationship I jump into out of the need for a relationship. I would rather stay single than go on even two dates with a guy I was not that crazy about!

 

 

 

 

I should have avoided relationship talk and let his actions speak over the coming months.

 

 

I will now take it easier with him after talking to you guys and heating what you all had to say about how the strongest sparks can fade out just as fast.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh I've been a firm believer that there is a mate for everyone. If him not texting you is bothering you then obviously he can't be the one. I get it. You're a romantic and intense individual. Everyone is different and I just think you will need to find someone who shares the same intensity as you. Don't give up though. I'm sure you man had something come up. I'm somewhat like yourself. Stay in touch with the one I'm dating on a daily basis. Not necessarily chatting a storm but just give a sign that you're alive and well.

 

People who bash social media and don't text. Well that's your way of dating but I firmly believe that to be successful in today's world texting is.a must. Unfortunately it takes away the intimacy but you can't deny the fact that social media has made others fall in love.

 

So in other words. Work what's best for you. People should love you for who you are. The whole oh you shouldn't text on a daily basis because it makes you look needy is full of bs (IMO). If people can't respect that, next.

 

 

 

Well, so far I have laid out the sort of person I am to my boyfriend.

 

He has not run away or gotten remotely freaked out.

 

I know it is a no no, but I told him about the sort of romance I am seeking from a man. I said I do not think it takes long to figure out if you are really taken by someone, and I would likely leave a guy if he took years to propose to me, as I want the sort of romance where a guy just knows early on, within a year or two tops, that he wants to aim to spend his life with me.

 

He was not phased at all. Before I explained to him my views on relationships and what I am seeking, he had already told me he was "taken with me" and that he "felt something very strong" for me from the moment we met me.

I saw him text all his friends, telling them he had just gone on the best date of his life. He did not know I saw.

He seemed to already feel the hard/fast rush for me without having to have months to feel sure about wanting to try for some sort of relationship with me.

 

He could have run when I told him my above views on relationships, and I would him rather have run, opposed to stay and use me for sex; and THEN running:lmao:

He seems genuine and I do not have a gut feeling about him being that type of a guy. If he is, I wont be all that crushed since I do not really KNOW him!

 

It may be insane to most, bringing the sort of relationship you are seeking from a male.

I only told him what I was after in a man, AFTER he had already demonstrated that he was really wrapped with me from date one and onwards...

 

I would rather a guy run sooner rather than later, if his views on relationships are not aligned with mine, or if he just realises that he doesn't feel that way about ME, and therefore doesn't want to try for a relationship of that sort with ME (but will with others)

Edited December 15, 2013 by Leigh 87

[ThatMan]

I think the last few messages are very enlightening. It was certainly a relief to read through them. I can see you've gone a long way and developed a lot of insight. Do you think the mere idea of placing expectations on people is worthy of thought?

 

There can be a lot of fun passion and excitement when people connect really well and date. It absolutely is within the realm of possibility for people to start out sort of intensely. What matters is whether or not cherish someone for who they are as a person. It takes patience to learn the many facets that make this man who he is. But that's okay.

 

 

You can both experience passion but also learn all about him as time goes on. That definitely included figuring out if he wanted to use and dump you. Discovering how much care and concern he does possess also takes time and patience. But it is unfair to hold him to an idea you had before you met him. When we place expectations we sort of rob ourselves of this opportunity. We begin to love a fantasy more than a person and quickly become disappointed when the fantasy shatters. I believe that asking if he is interested in texting you is healthier than expecting it, then analyzing him in frenzy when he does not.

 

Best of luck Leigh, we all want things to work out for you.

Edited December 15, 2013 by ThatMan

[Sand Man Dan]

Listen Leigh,

 

You guys have been dating less than two weeks. This is still the ember that's being fanned into flame.

 

-He could realize, "Gee, I seem to always initiate. I don't text her more than once or so a day...maybe she isn't that into me?" So he's pulling back with the mindset that he's bothering you.

 

-He could be not all that into you, which you'll soon find out anyways if that's the case.

 

-And don't play games. If you want to talk to him, text him or call him. Don't wait for him to. 50/50 is the golden ratio in a healthy relationship, especially as far as communication is concerned.

 

Either way, you are investing far too much thought and emotion into this particular 'texting frequency' issue. Just relax and go with the flow.

[dontgo]

She also gives me strategies to avoid investing; she taught me there is a difference between investing REAL emotions, and getting carried away with the romance fluff.

So, I have not gotten that cut about my last two guys disappearing after they pretended to fall head over heels for me, as I didn't invest any real emotions, but rather just allowed myself to go after the butterflies and romance I am seeking, without putting much stock in the outcome.

 

Oh my this thread keeps getting crazier!!!!

 

You do realize this is all sorts of messed up.

The whole point of dating is to avoid investing too much and just get to know the person. A relationship is when you are ready to invest everything. Also why the hell do you expect your bf to invest everything if you aren't?

 

Also the scariest this is how the OP is comparing her new bf to a straight up stalkerish ex FWB and the new bloke doesn't even live up to those expectations, yet she has fallen hard for him... WHAT?

[Leigh 87]

Oh my this thread keeps getting crazier!!!!

 

You do realize this is all sorts of messed up.

The whole point of dating is to avoid investing too much and just get to know the person. A relationship is when you are ready to invest everything. Also why the hell do you expect your bf to invest everything if you aren't?

 

Also the scariest this is how the OP is comparing her new bf to a straight up stalkerish ex FWB and the new bloke doesn't even live up to those expectations, yet she has fallen hard for him... WHAT?

 

 

 

I mentioned the crazed FWB because I AM GLAD my boyfriend is not like him. I AM freaking GLAD:lmao:

 

I cannot stress enough how GLAD I am my boyfriend IS NOT obsessive!

He does not blow up my phone like the obsessive guys. I was just stressing how glad I was that my boyfriend is a much healthier example of what a relationship should look like, when it comes to texting.

 

........................................................

 

And I was just telling my boyfriend how the people on here think we are both crazy for actually wanting to be exclusive after a mere one date:lmao:

 

He thinks it is hilarious that people feel he "should" date around until he feels "ready" to want to be with just the one woman:lmao:

 

Both him and myself both tend to only bother dating people who we are into enough to the extent where we do not WANT to go on a date with another person once we meet!

 

.....................................................................

 

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to try for a relationship after one or two dates if both people feel strongly enough about each other.

Not everyone needs to date around and get to know people for months before they know if they are ready or not to want to make a commitment.

Some people, like myself, have experienced A LOT of men, and I know what I want; I would not just give up my freedom of being able to find the right guy. I would not give up that freedom for any guy:sick:

 

I don't think it is a bad idea to only date people you're really taken by, opposed to being fairly "meh" about people and having to get to know them over a series of months, along with other potential "candidates".

 

MANY people know right away whether or not they like their first date enough to: want to date others, or to only want to focus on the one person.

 

 

 

NO guy who is crazy for a girl will date others once he meets a girl who knocks his socks off.

 

I so happen to choose to wait around so I can be "that girl" that the right guy will someday meet, and know right away that he doesn't want to let me get taken away by another suitor.

 

It is not crazy that I do not want to meet a guy I really like in that way, only for him to then go on other dates with other women.

[Divasu]

Please step back and try to see how silly this sounds.

 

You're feeling unloved because someone you barely know, did not drive 4 hours to "hold your hand" over a sunburn. You're typing quite well, it cannot be that serious (the sunburn). It's very possible, that, this man views it the same. Perhaps if you were laying in the hospital, it would be different. But my god, you are a grown adult -- surely you can tend to your sunburn? Maybe, if he lived closer, it would have been more doable.

 

And, please stop listening to advice from men who most likely are filling your head with jibberish (you've had an ongoing sexual relationship with them, perhaps they are worried they will not be able to maintain a sexual relationship with you anymore because of this new man in your life).

[Leigh 87]

Please step back and try to see how silly this sounds.

 

You're feeling unloved because someone you barely know, did not drive 4 hours to "hold your hand" over a sunburn. You're typing quite well, it cannot be that serious (the sunburn). It's very possible, that, this man views it the same. Perhaps if you were laying in the hospital, it would be different. But my god, you are a grown adult -- surely you can tend to your sunburn? Maybe, if he lived closer, it would have been more doable.

 

And, please stop listening to advice from men who most likely are filling your head with jibberish (you've had an ongoing sexual relationship with them, perhaps they are worried they will not be able to maintain a sexual relationship with you anymore because of this new man in your life).

 

 

 

 

I agree with you

 

It was silly of me to believe for a second, that a new guy I barely know should come look after me when I am sunburnt, when he lives over4 hours away by train...

 

I have a good feeling about my boyfriend and think he acts very appropriate for the amount of time we have dated. He shows me he is very into me without being obsessive.

 

Although the way my boyfriend acts may be too obsessive for you and others, to ME it is perfect and shows he is into me for now ( I know it is not withstanding and can change at any time even if he is nuts about me to begin with)

 

I don't WANT him to act like the crazed FWB, who tried to tell me that my boyfriend would have been at my beck and call when I had a sunburn.

 

For the record, I have a pretty severe burn that covers my chin, that I must get looked at tomorrow at the doctors.

 

However, my boyfriend did come stay with me for 6 days, as we live about 4 hours apart.

After date two and one week since first meeting, he came back to my place, didn't instigate or suggest sex until I mentioned it (he was trying to be a gentlemen and wait for when I was ready), and stayed a full 6 days.

When he left after 6 days he texted right away saying how he almost loved me and it felt very easy with me.

...but he was not blowing up my phone, and probably sent 3 or 4 more texts that entire day.

 

He seems to want to spend a lot of time with me, but then spend a week apart and then a week together... So he spends pretty much half his time with me, the other half with friends.

My ex FWB who fell in love with me professed that he, and other men, who were crazy enough about me, would surely want to spend 24.7 with me.

I got the idea in my head that all men who are into me would act obsessive.

 

 

 

 

 

So don't worry, I don't feel unloved over a new guy not travelling hours by train to be with me for my sunburn:lmao:

I actually would NOT let him, nor anyone for that matter see me right now. My chin is VERY burnt, with a thick burn over it and I am reluctant to even go out in public to be frank......

 

I am going to not cover it up with make up until Wednesday, at which point my bf is coming over to meet my dad and cook for me and my friends.

Then it is a big weekend with me meeting most of his friends and family for his 30th.. then he will spend another few days with me up at my place, where he will meet my family.

 

So it is a big week of meeting each others families:sick:

[Divasu]

I got the idea in my head that all men who are into me would act obsessive.

 

Well, you don't want obsessive. Obsessive is an unhealthy attachment in the form of possession over another.

 

So it is a big week of meeting each others families:sick:

 

Very nice. Have a good time, and, try to relax.

[Leigh 87]

Well, you don't want obsessive. Obsessive is an unhealthy attachment in the form of possession over another.

 

 

 

Very nice. Have a good time, and, try to relax. :unny:

 

 

 

Thanks. No drinking , of course.

[snowflakes88]

Why are you sharing your new relationship concerns with the ex-FWB you think is crazy and obsessive? And how/why did you tell him about you posting here?

[CrystalCastles]

Leigh,

 

I think you should relax a little. You're getting a bit defensive, but people on here aren't posting because they want to attack you. They're here to help, which is something you asked for since you created this thread.

 

I'm not posting because I want to bash you and misunderstand where you are coming from. I am exactly in your shoes now, met a guy, went on a date, liking where we are right now and things are going swell. But I realize its too early to say right now if this relationship is going to be successful and it would be stupid of me to invest in it so soon.

 

I feel you are investing too quickly. It's not a bad thing, it's a human thing, but it will get you burned if you don't take things a little slowly and relax a bit and not be so aggressive. I understand you're passionate, and romantic, and I'm like that too (I was practically attacking my man's mouth yesterday on our date). But rushing into things so early on, when you're still on shaky ground and getting the feel of things, rather than having everything already established, may get you hurt. The texting is, I feel, not an issue itself, but your investment in this relationship is.

 

No one is saying you need to multidate (or maybe they are but I probably missed it). But there's nothing wrong with stepping on the brakes a little. There's no apocalypse tmr, you have all the time in the world to enjoy your man, don't rush and relax. And be careful with your feelings because it's not good to form an attachment so early on when nothing is definite.

[ktya]

While texting is useful, i personally hate having conversations by text. It takes forever and a phone call can convey in 15 minutes what an hour and a half of texting can. Texting is great for logistics, like are you free tonight or i will be there in about an hour, and for small messages like good night or i love you.

 

The OP sounds scary obsessive about texts, so i wouldnt doubt that one text message with her leads to 50 more. Its hard to do much else when you are glued to your phone. So he is probably texting later and later because he knows once he starts texting her he is heading down a rabbit hole and he wont be able to put his phone down for an hour.

 

My policy on texts is dont send anything that needs an immediate answer, do a phone call for that stuff. Also dont text me when im out doing something because im doing something and dont want to be glued to my phone. I have my phone set to silent all the time because i dont want to be interrupted.

[Leigh 87]

Why are you sharing your new relationship concerns with the ex-FWB you think is crazy and obsessive? And how/why did you tell him about you posting here?

 

 

 

We had a FWB. I told him it was only FWB. He then proceeded to go SPASTIC when I got a bf. He couldn't understand why he did everything for me, bought me things, treated me like a princess, loved me.. only for me to talk away in the blink of an eye for a guy I just met once.

 

When I checked to see if he was doing alright the last time, he heard I was very badly sunburnt, and then he threw in his two cents that " your bf is not nuts about you, if he WAS, he would DEFINATELY be by your side in a heartbeat; me and all my friends would for a girl we were crazy about"

 

I promptly told him to f*ck off. Leave me alone.. I am not checking up on him ever again he is a moron when it comes to love, he thinks I should have given him a chance when I felt zero urge to kiss him and be with him in a romantic way; because he was an amazing person (or so I thought at he time) he thought I was silly to let him go (even though I had NO romantic feelings for him)

 

He saw me come on this website when I was staying at his house and he asked me about it.

He then stalked my posts to see what I had written about him and my new boyfriend.

He needed to know when I met him and how; he thought I OWED IT TO HIM to stick to my plan of "staying single" for years and travelling a lot:lmao:

 

He is nuts for thinking that I OW a FWB to stick to a certain plan I thought I would follow (and I also told my friends and family that I thought I would honestly stay single for ages).

ANyways. I changed my mind about staying single when I met my boyfriend, and so he basically abused me with awful texts for days, texting me 50 times a day when he found out I got a new bf.

 

My new bf was really disturbed and wanted me to immediately block the guys number, but I was too concerned about him doing something stupid to himself.

[Leigh 87]

Yes it is bizarre to me that anyone would obsess so intensely over text messages, how often they're sent, who initiates them, attaching importance as to what it means in terms of their affection for you. With all due respect it makes you sound like a lunatic.

 

You are an exceptionally beautiful girl but you're insecurity and constant need for reassurance and validation is going to be very unappealing to anyone looking for a sane, drama-free relationship. Instead of trying to decipher and decode what's in someone's mind and heart by over analyzing their every action why don't you just ask him how he feels and believe what he tells you?

 

There's nothing romantic about anything you've posted in this thread. It sounds more like something I'd expect from a 15 year old girl with severe self esteem issues than from an attractive, intelligent, mature young woman who is sincerely interested in falling in love.

 

 

 

 

Thanks so much for the lovely compliments, they wow. How nice:o

 

My bf tells me it is unattractive to deflect compliments;) even if you don't yourself believe them

 

I already knew it anyways. I am generally positive and my self esteem is not that low really, I do like who I am as a person and I feel fortunate to be healthy and look decent enough to have love interests in my life, albeit I am getting a nose job and botox at age ...29 ish.

 

I am honestly not placing any stock anymore in his texts, I just had a small freak out.

 

 

 

I have asked how he feels; he tells me he has only been crazy about a girl once before me, years ago, many years ago... And when he met me, he even more crazy about me than he was her. He thinks I am the cutest girl he has been with, and he has never had a better feeling about any other girl than he has with me.

He has told me and made it known that he feels he has something different with me than he has had with others; something greater and stronger insofar as his feelings of "love" are concerned...

 

I did see him write all this crap to his friends when he thought I wasn't looking so I know I am not delusional or projecting my feelings onto him.

 

Although, I do not know him well enough to trust him implicitly. My ex, the disappearing prick guy I wrote about in the second chance section, HE ALSO told me that he was never as attracted to any other girl than he was with me, and he wanted me more badly than he had ever wanted ANY one; he said he was falling in love with me from the moment he saw me.

 

Then he disappeared! Then re appeared... then disappeared again! LOL!

 

Last night he re appeared, texting me again!:lmao:

 

My current guy seems a lot of sincere, just the way he never talks about sex (even though he said after out first date he noticed really strong sexual chemistry between us) he never brought up sex once.

the current guy makes it ... known he is into me, but he is not over the top, obsessive, clingly or jealous like the previous guys have been.

 

 

 

 

In light of the fact he has shown through his actions and words that he is into me, I need not listen to my ex FWB who is delusional about what a guy "has to do" if he is nuts about a girl, and I should not put any stock in this guys texting habits.

[Leigh 87]

While texting is useful, i personally hate having conversations by text. It takes forever and a phone call can convey in 15 minutes what an hour and a half of texting can. Texting is great for logistics, like are you free tonight or i will be there in about an hour, and for small messages like good night or i love you.

 

The OP sounds scary obsessive about texts, so i wouldnt doubt that one text message with her leads to 50 more. Its hard to do much else when you are glued to your phone. So he is probably texting later and later because he knows once he starts texting her he is heading down a rabbit hole and he wont be able to put his phone down for an hour.

 

My policy on texts is dont send anything that needs an immediate answer, do a phone call for that stuff. Also dont text me when im out doing something because im doing something and dont want to be glued to my phone. I have my phone set to silent all the time because i dont want to be interrupted.

 

 

I don't send 50 texts.

 

I am not obsessive in my actions about guys I am into.

 

I hate texting 50 times a day:sick:

 

Guys who are into me have done it that way with me, and I hated it.

 

I like to look forward to hearing from a loved one or fledging love interest.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh,

 

I think you should relax a little. You're getting a bit defensive, but people on here aren't posting because they want to attack you. They're here to help, which is something you asked for since you created this thread.

 

I'm not posting because I want to bash you and misunderstand where you are coming from. I am exactly in your shoes now, met a guy, went on a date, liking where we are right now and things are going swell. But I realize its too early to say right now if this relationship is going to be successful and it would be stupid of me to invest in it so soon.

 

I feel you are investing too quickly. It's not a bad thing, it's a human thing, but it will get you burned if you don't take things a little slowly and relax a bit and not be so aggressive. I understand you're passionate, and romantic, and I'm like that too (I was practically attacking my man's mouth yesterday on our date). But rushing into things so early on, when you're still on shaky ground and getting the feel of things, rather than having everything already established, may get you hurt. The texting is, I feel, not an issue itself, but your investment in this relationship is.

 

No one is saying you need to multidate (or maybe they are but I probably missed it). But there's nothing wrong with stepping on the brakes a little. There's no apocalypse tmr, you have all the time in the world to enjoy your man, don't rush and relax. And be careful with your feelings because it's not good to form an attachment so early on when nothing is definite.

 

 

 

I know it could all end tomorrow and I would be okay with that. Very upset for a day or two? Sure. Depressed and dejected? Not a chance.

 

I have gotten over an almost 3 year relationship with a guy I was crazy about and extremely close to.

 

I had another guy at age 18 who I was with a couple of years.... and I was fine after he left, too.

 

I have known this guy a mere month. I will be okay if he.. leaves.

[mishy]

I don't text.

 

Here's an idea. How about people drop the entire concept of texting and they actually talk to each other?

 

Maybe I am getting old but back when I was with my first girlfriend we didn't text each other because the majority of teenagers didn't have mobile phones and we didn't post our personal lives on social networking sites for millions of others to see because they didn't exist. If anything I strongly believe those things are doing more damage to this generation than good because they are turning people into a group of emotionless zombies that severely lack the social skills needed to engage in real conversations because they have grown more accustomed to using their fingers than their mouths and it is kinda sad when you think about it.

 

I got a new phone earlier this year and it is a royal piece of **** and it took me months to get used to using the new touchscreen crap and as many times as my friends have tried to show me how to use it I honestly can't be bothered and if people want to communicate with me they have to talk.

 

I have to agree with this.

 

My new policy with men is no texting, except for "be there in an hour" or "bring cake" lol or something very simple. All other interactions are now by phone call. Texting is so so so so bad for relationships because it is used as an emotional tool and it shouldn't be.

[ktya]

Yah one my exes would in order to.avoid direct conflict argue with me by text. I hated it and would just turn off my phone until i got home and talk about whatever was bugging her. Then i would turn my phone back on and watch as the 75 text messages would roll in with ever increasing rage or emotion.

 

So i totally agree. Actually talking to eachother is becoming a lost art.

[Leigh 87]

I think I use texting wisely these days...

 

He texted me today in the morning. I read it, did something else, forgot about the text, and then got a "nice" little feeling of " aww he texted, I am going to text him back"

 

Then he gets my text, probably continues to do what he is doing, and texts me back.

 

So it is not rapid back and fourth or anything manic or ... crazy:lmao:

 

Where as the ex FWB and another guy before him would text me allllll day every day. They were at my beck and call..

 

If I chipped a nail or had an ugly cold sore that was painful, they would drop everything to come to comfort me... NO matter how far away they were.

 

Where as my bf is more practical. He lives hours away, does not drive (for medical reasons) and he does not go over the top fussing over me if I say I am in a bit of pain. But he shows he cares still.

 

I am sure if it was a medical emergency he would then drop everything to see me. Where as the other two guys I experienced who were realllly into me, would just.... drop everything, anytime, for any reason for me.

 

I prefer my boyfriend to their style.

[Leigh 87]

Lol...Jesus Christ, just leave your nose alone and stay out of the sun.

 

You look fine the way you are.

 

 

I have a crooked nose. Looks find from the front, but my profile is not as nice. Always wanted the nose job.

 

Could have had it by now, only I chose to travel the world instead.

 

So I have learned to live happily and to love life as I am naturally And only in late 20's have I decided to start saving for the nose job.

And botox is important to me; it simply erases lines from your forehead. I am going to get the minimum done and certainly not go crazy.

I do not wear make up besides mascara so I am not over the top when it comes to making myself up for each day.

 

 

 

Although I will have to wear loooooots of foundation Wednesday to se my boyfriend and friends that night who are coming to dinner to meet him at my flat...

 

 

My chin effing HURTS and is a giant scab that covers the span of me entire chin.

 

I look like a fully fledged burn victim, without actually being one in the true sense of the word.

 

 

 

I am thinking of cancelling Wednesdays date and 2 night sleepover? Since it will not be all that much better by then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guys, would you care if your girlfriend had her entire chin burnt and red?

 

I will cover it in good quality foundation so it will only be a little .... less smooth as my normal chin:D

[mishy]

the way i think about it now is: if i am to send a text i think to myself, "would i call him to say this" is *this* really vital?

 

there is so much to be said for saving things up and having a phone conversation where real warmth can be exchanged. I think thats how lasting foundations can be built.

 

And also, why do we always have to be within such easy reach? This ruins teh excitement.

 

I read something a while ago which said that people fall in love with a person during the spaces, the spaces or moments where there is no contact.