Texting

[snowflakes88]

You are absolutely all over the place in the span of like 12 hours. Sorry, but I have to agree with the others. You "read" as extremely emotionally unstable.

[snowflakes88]

Out of curiosity, exactly how long do you expect a man to pay for everything? The whole relationship?

[Leigh 87]

There isn't anything reasonable about your request. These "instant connections", most of them burn out as quickly as they start. Your expectations are way too high. Just because your friend found someone with (apparently) as little self-esteem as her, does not mean it's the right way to go.

 

You've got to give a guy a chance to miss you. It is not the end of the world if a few days go by and he doesn't text you. And if it is, i'd hate to see how you handle the real problems in a relationship.

 

It's ridiculously immature. Try easing up the choke hold and giving some room.

 

And official after days? Bending yourself out of shape after a couple of weeks? It's desperation. You need to dial it down and relax.

 

 

 

First of all, I am far from desperate. I have plenty of options. I am in my 20's with a good figure.

 

I also don't need a boyfriend, as my life is pretty great without one. I have had guys obsessed with me and into me, yet I chose to not be with them, due to not having enough instant spark or chemistry.

 

Trust me, like most women in their 20's with a somewhat fun and decent personality and slim figure, I could have jumped on a few guys who were very much into me and were cute guys with highly paid jobs.

 

Yet I didn't. I WAIT for a guy I feel nuts about from the first date. I wait for a guy I am excited about. I wait for a guy who gives me butterflies.

I bypass plenty of good options with men simply because I do not feel that "it" factor with them.

 

The last guy texted me all day every day and treated me like a princess. He bent over backwards for me. He earned a LOT of money. He was SO dun to be around ALL of the time.

 

I simply didn't get excited about his texts or about seeing him, I saw him as a very good friend with benefits.

I actually liked this guy MORE than my prior boyfriends, but not in THAT romantic sense.

................................

 

Secondly,

 

My friend has very high self esteem. She is a beautiful model with a degree and a very cool and laid back personality. She DOES NOT have little self esteem whatsoever.

It is Ludacris you judge my good friend as having low self esteem without meeting her.

She simply met a guy at a club, they both had super electric chemistry, and, as it turns out, they both had something deeper.

I also have high enough self esteem. I like myself as a person. I can be harsh and shallow/judgemental about MYSELF and probably demand too high standards of myself, but in general I would NOT want to be anyone else but me, I don't feel jealously towards others EVER, and I like who I am as a person.

I demand respect from men. I learned the hard way like most of you, to value yourself and, in turn, to only date guys who are into you and show it through actions.

...............................................................

 

I am not unreasonable in wanting that instant spark. I do not care what job a guy has, whether he is fat or thin... whether or not he has kids or is divorced...

I am not too fussy to the point where I limit me options; all I want is a guy I am sexually attracted to, with hot NATURAL chemistry, and a spark when we first meet.

You may want a slow burn, where you are not nuts about the guy initially but you have to keep seeing each other for months just to ascertain that you really like one another.

It is not for me, and I am not wrong in wanting love in the way that I see fit.

 

We each find love in our own ways.

 

.............................................................................

 

 

Personally, I don't date guys I only view in a platonic light. I don't need to date a guy who I am not even excited about kissing and seeing again.

 

I don't do the " I am not that into him but I will get to know him because he is am amazing person and good looking, and I will GROW to love him very slowly over a lot of time"

[Leigh 87]

Out of curiosity, exactly how long do you expect a man to pay for everything? The whole relationship?

 

 

 

Oh, it depends on incomes.

 

If he has a high paying job, I am merely a student who cannot afford to eat out often.

If a well of guy expected me to pay for 50/50 when he earns a lot and I can barely afford to eat out, he is a tight arse in my eyes.

 

I do not need him to buy me presents all the time and pay for 100% of the dates, either! I ALSO do nice things for my guys, I buy them random cool presents and I do shout them dinner occasionally.

I totally believe in showing a guy you can support yourself and live within your means and you do not need a guy to do everything for you and support you financially.

 

 

...I am a student trying to find low paid waitressing work for extra cash during my degree, and he works

 

 

He does not have a lot of money to throw around, so we both talked about this as a matter of fact.

He said he wants to do nice things for me, and pay for more than 50% of the dates where we eat out, since he knows I cannot afford it.

I explained that I am a student atm, and I have to live within my means, and I cannot afford to eat out often, if at all.

He agreed that he is saving like crazy for a house, and has not a lot of money to throw around, either.

 

We both decided to be more careful with our spending and to buy food and eat in, since he is a part time chef (he has two jobs), and wants to cook for me more anyway.

 

When we do go out, he said he expects to pay for more than half of our dates, but he would like me to not expect it off him all of the time. He wants me to pay for myself occasionally and not take him for granted.

[Leigh 87]

Anyway, I came to blog a bit on here but I am fine now, thanks for your concerns. I am very happy and don't need you to feel sorry for me or give me advice as to how clingy and mental I am, since I don't come off that way at all in real life or to my therapist, who deems me absolutely sane:lmao:

 

My issues are internal.

 

My issues no longer afflict my relationships. I learn to go and talk to her about things. I am at he stage where my personal relationships do not suffer as a result of my own psychological issues.

Guys can no longer tell I have issues, but none of them mind that I HAVE had issues with self harm and substance abuse in the past, not to mention myriad of other issues.

I am fairly open about therapy to the guys I see.

 

Current guy knows my story and has chosen to continue seeing me. Since I act in non obsessive and non clingy way IN PERSON, irrespective of how I may come off on here, with my incessant need to blog about dating all the time.

I even blog about guys I don't like on other outlets aside from here ( I come here to talk about guys I DO fancy:lmao:)

 

I surely don't like the guys I blog about who I wish to leave me alone:lmao: I am certainly not obsessed with a person merely because I write a lot about them.

I can see a beautiful person on the train, and then write a nice description of them merely because I enjoy the process of writing about something beautiful.

It doesn't mean I then go to sleep and think about the people I write and blog about!

 

This texting thing? I do not breath ANY of it to this guy! Hell no!

I simply wondered about his habits regarding texting, and now I feel totally fine with it all, and I am even grateful he has a full life without the need to text me ALLLL the time, all day every day:lmao:

.........................

 

 

I am also self aware enough to know that I much prefer just one text a day, otherwise I find it hard to believe that a guy is thinking about me all that often.

I cannot do the " days without contact" thing.

My deadbeat ex who wasn't in love with me or even that sexually into me, managed to facebook me most days he was away overseas, when he was busy screwing hookers.

Sooooo, if the current guy knew I needed to say a quick hello once per day, even just ONE text from his end and me sending him ONE text back; I AM SURE he would agree to find the time to do it. To send ONE text per day.

 

Not that I will need to discuss texting with the new guy, seeing as he seems to initiate at least one text a day.

 

I, however, NEVER initiate the first text of the day, but I think it is about time I do it now and again. l don't think he really cares or feels bad about these petty things, however, there is a chance he could have noticed that I NEVER initiated the first text of the day, and therefore there is a small chance HE wants ME to initiate more of the first texts of each day, rather than waiting for him every day:lmao:

............................................................................

 

 

So there is nothing more to discuss on here. I very happy thankyou and don't really need negative feedback pertaining to my relationship, I have a professional to assist me if I deviate from the norm too much:lmao:

 

I will continue to write about most people I tend to meet in life on my bogs and stuff, since I enjoy writing about people; all people, even boring people:lmao:

I think I will be fine with this guy, since I no longer do things wrong with men; rather, I keep my thoughts to myself and bitch to my friends if I have an issue, then I either see the error of my ways OR I end things with guys if I am not happy with them.

[Keenly]

50 50 means he is a tight ass? Huh?

[Leigh 87]

When this thing goes arse up in a few weeks, let us know.

 

In the meantime, try going a few days without texting each other. If you have to have them all over you from minute 1, that is going to be ultimately unstable. Any person all over you from the start, needs to be watched like a hawk. They like the early stage, and get bored. Like the last guy you dated.

 

This has needy written all over it, and people can smell needy a mile away.

 

And you go on and on about your figure all the time. We get it. You're slim. That's not the be all and end all in life...

 

 

You called me desperate. I am neither desperate to have to be in a relationship (I am very happy single and love life without needing a partner thanks) nor am I desperate in general, so that I will settle for a guy who is not all that into me.

 

 

And what a disgusting outlook you have! You assume this relationship will fail before it has even started?

 

Maybe it will work out long term? Maybe we will have a few great months or a year or even two years, before we outgrow each other?

 

Perhaps he will be an @sshole and screw me over and cheat on me the entire time, or just as bad, string me along pretending to be into me until he finds the girl he IS into, only to drop me and never talk to me again?

 

We simply do not know this guy, albeit I do know him a fair bit more than you:lmao:

 

 

 

I am honestly a fun and easy going girlfriend, I have therapy if I am uncomfortable about things to do with relationships, I do not see why this will surely fail.

 

You shouldn't assume the worst in people and their prospective fledging relationships.

 

I am a fun girl, I make him laugh, we enjoy each others time and we appear to both be quiet into each other. We have our own lives and sets of friends, and I DO NOT need him to be around me all the time.

 

 

I am not needy, he can go and spend a week doing his own thing and hanging out with his friends.

 

 

 

 

MOST WOMEN need a once a day text (or call)

All my girlfriends do and they are pretty awesome women. They are not all suffering low self esteem.

I live near Sydney by the way, and here, most girls I know expect a once a day text from a guy at least.

[Leigh 87]

50 50 means he is a tight ass? Huh?

 

 

Absolutely not,

 

But if he has a high earning job, he should pay for most of the dates if he is earning sh*tloads of money.

 

I am a student right now. My FWB accounts exec was rich and I bloody expected him to pay for our dinners out! I mean come on, I am a student with no extra cash and he earned over 100 K a year!

 

If I was rich I would do the same for a guy who was poor! I would pay for everything most of the time, if there was a HUGEEE discrepancy between our wages.....

I am very generous. I give money to charities every time I go shopping even though I have barley anything to give.

I pay for my friends to go do things if they are broke and I don't expect then to pay me back ever.

 

I would pay more than 50% of the time if I had a high earning job myself and he was earning less than me.

[Leigh 87]

The last guy was a sicko. He lacks empathy. Guys who are genuinely kind and nice to others don't treat certain girls like crap and disappear on them, only to treat girls who are "good enough" like gold.

Decent people treat everyone with respect, and they break up with girls if they are not that into them.

Decent guys who have loads of empathy and care for others break up with girls rather than disappear.

 

I am not super confident, I know I am not gods gift to men, but I am pretty happy with myself and I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I love life. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone no matter how .... much money they have.

A LOT of women I know need at least one simple text a day. These are confident and happy women.

 

Just because YOU don't need daily texts, doesn't mean all women are the same as you, with the same sets of expectations.

It is really ridiculous that you assume that women who are not like you in regards to the whole texting thing are insecure.

 

I need just one or two texts per day from day one. Thing is, guys who are initially into me or others I know, always text after the first date to say they enjoyed their time, and they tend to text at least once or twice per day since date one...

 

 

 

 

I am not fool when it comes to dating at his stage in life. I know what I want, I do not accept behaviour that is indicative of the guy not being into me and I do not have a huge unnecessary laundry list; I merely ask for a guy who is really into me from date one, opposed to a guy who is "meh" about me, and even dates others after he meets me.

I do not seek to fall in love within a week or at first site the way my friend did with her bf:lmao: which by the way, she is STILL together with him and they are as crazy about each other as when they first laid eyes on each other.

 

It is lust and chemistry AND a special "feeling" you get about a person. An "it factor" that compels most people I personally know of, to fall deeply in that head over heels type of love. Many of them surely last.

You don't need to necessarily pick people you are indifferent or lukewarm about and grow to like them over months. Some people have great sexual chemistry from day ONE and are smitten instantly, yet last.

 

I need the guy to be into me enough to NOT want to date others once he has a date with me.

Those are my beliefs; if a girl comes along that knocks a guys socks off, he will absolutely not date others from date one.

You seem more in the camp of multi dating, where you feel people out, are not all that crazy about any of them until a few dates with each of them.

 

...........................................................

 

Your method of texting and probably multi dating may suit you, however, it is not my style and I don't think it is fair of you to say I am destined to fail with this guy that you have never even met.

 

It is not really in good taste to say my beautiful friend has low self esteem when you have never met her, simply because she fell hard for a guy who also was smitten with her instantly, and who happened to last with him.

She is attractive and has a nice personality, so yes, she has the luxury of falling in deep lust with men whom she has wonderful chemistry with; and have things last in the end, since she is a very pretty girl of a high emotional intelligence.

I believe at my age I still have enough looks, (although I am not as beautiful as my model friends) to feel an instant thing with a guy, opposed to being not that taken by each other and having to "grow" to be into each other over a lot of time.

 

..........................................................

 

I don't reek of desperation nor do I ever come across psycho in this stage of my dating life.

I keep these very pretty texting issues to MYSELF, and talk them through with my mum, good friends and therapist. I soon feel at ease.

 

I want different things than you. I have had two long term relationships and dealt with hardships within my relationships. I have had two live in boyfriends both lasting over two years each.

[Leigh 87]

I am not in Sydney but close enough by....

 

My boyfriend lives near Wollongong and I am hours away, and he cannot drive. We both agree it is good to have space, and to them stay at each others places for a week or so, only to then spend a week or two apart.

We like our arrangement as it does enable us to have space and see friends periodically, and yet still spend quality time. I am far from clingy I just prefer daily texts.

 

This is way to fast for you, however, after date two he came to stay with me, a mere week after first meeting; he stayed about a week here with me. He said it felt easy with me and texted me a few mins after he got on the train to go home, telling me he almost loved me and had a great time.

 

Who are you or anyone else to say that is moving too fast?

 

Who are you to say that wanting a text once per day is too much and is surely a sign of low self esteem? I don't hate myself thanks and neither does my lovely friend.

 

We are simply two people who like each other and say and do what feels right for us.

We don't talk about marriage or babies or moving in together, we are no in each others pockets 24/7 and we do not text allll the time!

I was asked to meet his family and over 10 of his closest friends after date one; it is to happen next Saturday.

 

Some people just move at different speeds; ultimately, it is compatibility that sustains things long term.

I have had long term R's before and, so far, me and the guy seem to have similar enough values and outlooks on life to at least make a go of this with no foreseeable issues.

 

...................................

 

 

Are you in Australia? Most girls I know here expect a daily text from the guys who are really into them.

They are confident girls and don't need incessant texting. Just a quick 2 min call once per day, or a brief goodnight texting letting the girls know their guys are thinking of them and miss them/cant wait to see them.

.....................................

 

 

 

I can't see any reg flags here. I was silly for ever doubting this guy due to his texting (since I never initiated the first text even once)

 

If he does something awful I will know.

[CrystalCastles]

Leigh, Leigh, Leigh.

 

Relax, hun. Go with the flow. Enjoy what you have and don't sweat the small things. Relationships shouldn't be stressful, they should be easy. Don't focus on how often he texts you and allow things to flow naturally. Some people aren't big on texting, but that doesn't mean anything. Stop comparing how often your man texts to other people's texting rates. Other people's relationships are not your relationship.

[BillJJ]

I don't text.

 

Here's an idea. How about people drop the entire concept of texting and they actually talk to each other?

 

Maybe I am getting old but back when I was with my first girlfriend we didn't text each other because the majority of teenagers didn't have mobile phones and we didn't post our personal lives on social networking sites for millions of others to see because they didn't exist. If anything I strongly believe those things are doing more damage to this generation than good because they are turning people into a group of emotionless zombies that severely lack the social skills needed to engage in real conversations because they have grown more accustomed to using their fingers than their mouths and it is kinda sad when you think about it.

 

I got a new phone earlier this year and it is a royal piece of **** and it took me months to get used to using the new touchscreen crap and as many times as my friends have tried to show me how to use it I honestly can't be bothered and if people want to communicate with me they have to talk.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, Leigh, Leigh.

 

Relax, hun. Go with the flow. Enjoy what you have and don't sweat the small things. Relationships shouldn't be stressful, they should be easy. Don't focus on how often he texts you and allow things to flow naturally. Some people aren't big on texting, but that doesn't mean anything. Stop comparing how often your man texts to other people's texting rates. Other people's relationships are not your relationship.

 

 

I agree.

 

The ex FWB of mine, who STALKS this site occasionally for my posts :mad:was just trying to point out to me that HE and HIS mates would all just drop everything and travel 5 hours via public transport, in order to hold my hand when I have bad sunburn.

He made me believe that hey, if he as crazy about a girl he would be by my side immediately the way my ex FWB would do for a girl.

 

My boyfriend said from date one that it felt so easy, or he would say it felt very right and he seemed at ease with me about everything.

 

I don't intend to ruin the easy flow of our relationship.

 

My boyfriend does not seem like the type to baby a girl and hold her hand/drive hours to see her unless she has a genuine problem.

Though he has expressed concern about me when that FWB was sending awful messages to me for entire days:( He said a few times he was worried about me and my safety and he hoped he stopped bothering me.

He was upset when I lost the job I thought I had recently..

 

 

 

 

So you are very right when you point out that all men behave differently towards girls they are very much into.

[Leigh 87]

I don't text.

 

Here's an idea. How about people drop the entire concept of texting and they actually talk to each other?

 

Maybe I am getting old but back when I was with my first girlfriend we didn't text each other because the majority of teenagers didn't have mobile phones and we didn't post our personal lives on social networking sites for millions of others to see because they didn't exist. If anything I strongly believe those things are doing more damage to this generation than good because they are turning people into a group of emotionless zombies that severely lack the social skills needed to engage in real conversations because they have grown more accustomed to using their fingers than their mouths and it is kinda sad when you think about it.

 

I got a new phone earlier this year and it is a royal piece of **** and it took me months to get used to using the new touchscreen crap and as many times as my friends have tried to show me how to use it I honestly can't be bothered and if people want to communicate with me they have to talk.

 

 

 

 

Oh I hate social media for the most part.

 

These days, I strictly only post links to cool pictures, songs or sites or amazing things.

I will never write a "status" unless something epic happens and I want ALL my friends internationally, to see.

 

I think your social media page says a lot about you. Got 1000 friends and post all about your life and the mundane sh*t you do? Hmm not the sort of girl a good quality guy with a life would want to date.

 

 

Regarding texting.... I am of the generation where I had a cell phone for the duration of my dating life.

 

I do not believe in texting like crazy; I had that with my ex FWB and another dude who was really into me. They both incessantly texted me alllllll day even while working?

 

I am really warming to my guys texting style. I DO need daily contact, I was a guy to think a lot about me, and show it through just one or two texts a day minimum.

 

He initiates texts every day but they are not excessive. Some guys like my ex FWB make out like if a guy aint blowing up your phone, he just isn't that into you:lmao:

[Leigh 87]

So. If he didn't text you every day, what would happen then?

 

I think you really need to look at how this neediness is going to kill your relationships if you continue to nurture it. Often we are blinded by chemistry. Its nice, but it's not the barometer of a healthy relationship.

 

 

While I prefer at least one daily text, I would not give up a relationship I was otherwise very happy in if he texted every other day, yet he still showed through his actions that he was serious about me.

 

I don't know any men who don't text daily at least once, but if I came across one I would give him a chance! I wouldn't write him off over texting!

I have done in the past; I wrote a guy of and told him that " since he is obviously not interested, to please go away":lmao: since he never texted.

I will give him a chance and not get all upset at this stage, if he just doesn't text for days at a time.

It is NOT within my normal comfort zone, but I will still give it a go!

 

I also tried dating a guy who was really crazy about me and treated me like a princess; he was cute with a highly paid job. I loved being with him every day.

Yet I had no romantic inclinations towards him!

 

Normally, I have to feel the urge to kiss a guy after date one, and I do not much like seeing a guy over a period of a month or two and having to "warm up" to the idea of wanting to kiss him.

I would rather feel romantic feelings from the start; I would rather get excited when they text me from the start.

 

I never grew to want to be with him in a long term thing, and give up searching for other prospects.

 

So I did give the slow burn thing a chance, where you do not initially have much chemistry towards them or a desire to kiss them often, and rather, work on becoming best friends and later on develop the urge to want to kiss them.

The sex would never be as passionate with a man you did not have romantic feelings towards, and you had to develop them over a lot of time....

[ThatMan]

Leigh,

...Are you by chance BPD?

What would your boyfriend think if he saw half of your messages?

 

I ask only out of a sense of concern. I'm very worried about you. There are now close to a dozen pages of random strangers informing you how unfair/unhealthy/psycho/destructive you're being. No mature adult would ever consider this behavior to be reasonable. I think the internet can be rather impersonal and heartless. Can you please share this discussion with your therapist to help place your thoughts and feelings in a better perspective? You aren't doing yourself any favors right now, especially since nothing said remotely sank in. I'm very worried about you after reading this thread.

Edited December 15, 2013 by ThatMan
phone...

[Leigh 87]

I don't date other people when I have feelings for one guy.

 

It is not who I am. It is not for a lot of people. Not everyone will benefit from multi dating. It works for some people but not others.

You have to stop assuming that your way is what is also best for me. We are entirely different people..... Although I am glad your way works for YOU:)

 

I always date guys I like enough to rule out other options.

My boyfriend is the same as me; once he thinks he really likes a girl, he focuses on them.

Once I meet a guy I am into on the first date, I do not WANT to date others!

Once my boyfriend meets a girl he likes enough, he doesn't WANT to explore other options; not until he has first seen what the first girl has to offer.

You do what works for you. Not everyone is suited to multi dating. I'm sure not.

 

I wait out for a guy who I feel warn and fuzzy about; who's texts I get he most excited about.

It is my personal belief that if a guy finds a girl that knocks his socks off, he will absolutely not go on more dates with other women once he meets this girl.

 

There are, of course, exceptions to my rule... Although I believe MOST men who meet a girl who blows their mind, will NOT continue to date others for a few months!!!!!!!!!

 

Men I now who fell head over heels in love knew they were in love within that 4 month span YOU suggest it takes "date different people until you find the right one"

 

Dating is a risk and yes, getting to know them better would eliminate a world of pain at times, however; human emotions can be very strong, and the men I know who fall hard for their partners could NOT simply just " take it slow, take it easy" and " go with the flow" for a few months, without falling madly in love with the right girl.....

 

I guarantee; put a certain girl in front of a guy, and he will fall head over heels in love with her within 4 months; he sure wont be dating others when he finds this girl....

I would rather wait a bit longer and me "that girl" to the guy I end up with, opposed to him having to see me while he dates others to see who he ends up feeling the most "strongly" about.

 

Fireworks and butterflies at the start are not always an indicator that two people will not be compatible, and in turn, not last......

[Leigh 87]

Leigh,

...Are you by chance BPD?

What would your boyfriend think if he saw half of your messages?

 

I ask only out of a sense of concern. I'm very worried about you. There are now close to a dozen pages of random strangers informing you how unfair/unhealthy/psycho/destructive you're being. No mature adult would ever consider this behavior to be reasonable. I think the internet can be rather impersonal and heartless. Can you please share this discussion with your therapist to help place your thoughts and feelings in a better perspective? You aren't doing yourself any favors right now, especially since nothing said remotely sank in. I'm very worried about you after reading this thread.

 

 

 

I am fine thanks. Very secure and happy thankyou.

 

I simply need a guy who is really into me, doesn't go days without texting or calling me preferably, and who doesn't take more than a date to decide he only wants to see ME, and not others.

 

I don't think it is nuts of me to have questioned texting habits. Plenty of healthy women I now of can sometimes question such petty things.....Besides, I was soon put to ease by peoples responses, all telling me I have nothing to worry about. I realised I over reacted by even thinking about his texting! I should not have even thought to post a thread about it.

 

I don't think my view on dating is unhealthy; people who want to multi date, only text every 2 or more days and see each other once every week or two, and people who take weeks or months to figure out if they are nuts about a girl enough to want to claim them for their own?

 

Those people are not the same as I am. It does not mean anything is wrong with me for preferring daily contact. I am not asking for marriage, to have his babies, to spend alllllllll our free time together or to move in with him.

 

I am very reasonable and cool in this relationship. I have vented my issues on HERE, NOT to him. I soon overcame my initial concerns within an hour or two of writing on here.... It is the people who are judgmental that concern me more!

 

They cannot seem to grasp that some people really do like each other so much from the start, to the point of NOT wanting to see other people

 

I am a romantic and I believe in waiting for those intense connections where you fall in love rather fast compared to other people you fall in love with.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that, nor is there anything wrong with wanting a text or two per day. It is not even like I am going to leave him if he doesn't text for two days! I would venture out of my comfort zone....

[Leigh 87]

Wow.

 

This is the most bizarre thing I've read in a long time.

 

I find it bizarre that YOU think this is a bizarre thing to read about.

 

........ I read far more unnerving things, than a nice girl in their 20's who loves to write a lot, and who wonders about texting habits of various men.

 

A lot more bizarre things to read out there:confused:

 

It is rather bizarre actually to most people, the way I believe that you can really be crazy about a person from the day you meet them, and also last:lmao: ..... Most people seem to think you have to multi date and take months just to figure out who you are that into:lmao:

 

See, to me and many other romantics, other peoples behaviour surrounding relationships is bizarre! As it is NOT the way we operate.

[ThatMan]

I am very reasonable and cool in this relationship. I have vented my issues on HERE, NOT to him. I soon overcame my initial concerns within an hour or two of writing on here.... It is the people who are judgmental that concern me more!

 

They cannot seem to grasp that some people really do like each other so much from the start, to the point of NOT wanting to see other people

 

I wish that you'd be more concerned with yourself rather than other people. You've been making very destructive choices for what seems to be the better part of several years. Are you not interested in sharing your thoughts on LS with your own therapist? May I ask why not?

[Leigh 87]

But Leigh...you have to admit, your way isn't working for you either.

 

No one should be this manic 2 weeks into making what amounts to nothing but a new friend...

 

 

My way has not let me down so far at all; I am almost 27, been in two long term R's of over 2 years each and I am both very grateful for, and had a string of high romance, high chemistry men who were not the right guys for me.

 

You can safely say my way isn't working when I am single for years.

 

I know plenty of people who were really into their partners from day one, and couldn't think about dating others.

 

Not everyone needs more than a date to figure out if they are that into someone.

Not everyone needs to date several people for months before realising who they are into.

 

And please stop telling me how I feel. I am not manic. I type extremely fast and like to convey every little thought.

I do not think about him all that much or take too much stock into things with him.

The way you read things on here is not the way I necessarily think the majority of the time.

I wrote about my thoughts I felt for maybe.... an hour. After which point I stopped thinking about him or texting.

 

You have to stop telling me that your way, the slow burn dating other people method, is more right for me, You are NOT me. I have a better idea of what method of dating is true to myself.

[Keenly]

You have to stop telling me that your way, the slow burn dating other people method, is more right for me, You are NOT me. I have a better idea of what method of dating is true to myself.

 

 

So why are you asking for our advice / opinion if you intend to disregard it?

[Leigh 87]

I wish that you'd be more concerned with yourself rather than other people. You've been making very destructive choices for what seems to be the better part of several years. Are you not interested in sharing your thoughts on LS with your own therapist? May I ask why not?

 

 

 

I am happy? I highly enjoy living day to day. I don't have lows. I am always happy or content even during hard moments.

 

I don't have highs and lows. I am always contented. The lows don't strike me often or on a very regular basis, even when bad sh*t happens to me I am normally still happy.

 

My choice in men now is far different than several years ago!

 

I no longer stand for bad behaviour, and in fact, I lean towards expecting TOO much now!

To say I have not learnt from my past 2 and a half year relationship with a guy who slept with hookers and cheated on me online with hundreds of women, is Ludacris; absolutely I have learnt!

I believe I deserve entirely better treatment from men now, and I KNOW I am much better able to make better decisions now.

 

 

I simply need a guy who is into me from the get go, enough to NOT want to see other people once he meets me.

 

I also prefer a few texts a day, although not heaps.

 

I do not see how that is unhealthy?

 

It is more unhealthy of people to not LISTEN to me, when I blatantly tell people how I feel, yet they disregard it and think they better know how I feel than I do!

[Leigh 87]

Err... if you're looking for happily ever after, your way really isn't working. I read all about Andrew. Longevity does not equal functionality. That was a hot mess.

 

 

 

My way is for a person to be into you and to not want to see other people, due to being taken enough by YOU from date one.

That is a really normal and common practice among us daters.

Not everyone needs much time to figure out if they really like someone, to the point of not wanting to see others.

 

As for Andrew, I do not date the same way anymore. WE were not an instant spark couple, either, we took about 5 or 6 months to fall in "love" as he called it., whatever it is he felt for me.

Andrew was the wrong person for me and I stayed with him because we were extremely attached and close and we did really like being together.

 

 

 

You're right, my old way did not work for me. From now on, I will NEVER:

 

- let a guy have 3 somes with me

- let a guy see hookers

- let a guy chat up girls online, in order to give them back that "single" feeling:sick:

 

 

How I dealt with Andrew is no longer the same way I will ever deal with other men.

 

 

It actually makes me sick to think about how miserable I was with him. He was a great friend, but as a partner I feel positively stupid for what I let him get away with.

 

[Leigh 87]

So why are you asking for our advice / opinion if you intend to disregard it?

 

 

I did take your advice on texting.

 

I soon stopped thinking about it.

 

I did listen to peoples advice regarding the original topic.

 

I will NEVER agree to multi date, or date guys who are not all that into me and need to go and date others before they figure out if they really want to be with me.