Fangorn Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 After breaking up with my long time girlfriend a month ago I've set about coping in a variety of ways, setting goals for myself, working out and beginning Muay Thai training, generally just improving myself. The thing is, how does one cope in the short term? Those instances when you have nothing to do, you've already cooked an awesome meal, worked out, worked on your project and watched a film. It's these times that really get me down, because there is nothing to fill that void. What do you do?
iworthmore Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 hello. sorry to hear about the BU. im facing the same thing right now trying to cope. when i find myself free and there is nothing to do i just go on youtube. there are many funny videos to watch or interesting things. i like to watch videos about paranormal phenomena or " people are awesome". sometimes i search for the top comedy movies and watch one. or read a book i like. after all it is ok to have those moments when your brain occupied by your break up. its a part of the coping process. if you try hard to avoid them it will affect you more. act spontaneous and do things because you like doing them don't relate them to the " keeping yourself busy" thing. best wishes for you 2
Shaine Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 I watch funny youtube videos too, search motivational articles, reddit and log in here at LS and enotalone.
InnocentMan Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 Be constructive. Learn something new. A musical instrument, new language etc. You can sit and think about your ex for two hours, or you can do something to improve yourself. Which do you think will be better for you? Don't be afraid to think about what happened occasionally, but you must help yourself to move on. It's a common myth that time heals all wounds, but it doesn't really. It's what you do with that time. If you were to just sit in silent reflection for a year, the pain will probably still be as raw as the first week. Many good things in life are born from sadness. 2
Author Fangorn Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 Be constructive. Learn something new. A musical instrument, new language etc. You can sit and think about your ex for two hours, or you can do something to improve yourself. Which do you think will be better for you? Don't be afraid to think about what happened occasionally, but you must help yourself to move on. It's a common myth that time heals all wounds, but it doesn't really. It's what you do with that time. If you were to just sit in silent reflection for a year, the pain will probably still be as raw as the first week. Many good things in life are born from sadness. Now that's sound advice, I've tried watching films and playing games but my mind always ends up wandering back to my Ex. I suppose doing something fully engaging would be best.
AnyaNova Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 After breaking up with my long time girlfriend a month ago I've set about coping in a variety of ways, setting goals for myself, working out and beginning Muay Thai training, generally just improving myself. The thing is, how does one cope in the short term? Those instances when you have nothing to do, you've already cooked an awesome meal, worked out, worked on your project and watched a film. It's these times that really get me down, because there is nothing to fill that void. What do you do? I know this is very much a girly thing, but I found bubble baths were a great way to handle that particular time. Perhaps there is something similar but more masculine that you could find for yourself? Other activities: You could make a list of the qualities you really find important in your significant other, and make notes of where your ex did not have those qualities. You could pick up a new instrument. Mentally assess if there is someone safe and unattainable enough that you could choose to develop a mild and controllable crush on them for the purpose of distracting you from your ex (at this stage, though, MILD is key--stop it immediately if it becomes more than that, and unattainable is key, no rebounds please!) Do you have a pet to cuddle with, play with, dangle shiny objects in front of etc? Because I know that makes a huge difference for me. I just thought of this. If you need distraction, there are these cool more adult-ish geometric "coloring books" that you can actually make some pretty neat designs from (I remember a friend got me into them a few years back, though I haven't done much with them in a long time). You can find a whole bunch of them at Amazon.com: geometric coloring books with some good colored pencils or markers Amazon.com - Prismacolor Premier Double Ended Art Markers 24 Count (97) or Amazon.com: Prismacolor Premier Soft Core Colored Pencils, 72 Colored Pencils: Arts, Crafts & Sewing You could not only distract yourself during these times, but frame the ones that you really like, and create some cool personalized "art" for your living space. You could learn to knit, lots of guys do. I mean, I think it is a matter of choosing to be creative and find things to fill your time that work for you and who you are.
Author Fangorn Posted December 15, 2013 Author Posted December 15, 2013 I tried having a bath with some funky stuff in it, but then I had to get out before I tried drowning myself. Funny how that worked out but I see now how ridiculous it was to even think of that as a solution. Funnily enough I'm already an artist and my productivity has taken a huge leap recently though it's still too easy getting distracted when sat in front of the computer all day and all too often it just feels like work. I think finding pursuits that mentally engage me is best. That old 3 stringed guitar I have in the cupboard needs to come out!
focussed Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 You're already doing it bro. Just keep it up. I understand there's going to be those times where there's not much to do and that's when you just have to double the effort. Take it from me, I'm 2.5 years into this break up and I probably would be fully over it by now if I didn't have a beautiful son with my ex, which entails me seeing her every week. Take my word for it...it gets better and one day out of no where you'll actually realize that you're ok and made it through. Good luck and keep doing what your doing
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