Softie Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Does it exist? Where to find it? OLD I'm not sure about seems to be full of people with emotional issues I have lots of hobbies, a good job, I get out and about lots. I'm good looking, good body, big boobs, long blonde hair, dress nicely, am a good person, morals in the right place, great heart.......and yet I cannot find true love. What gives? Maybe the only way is too go on singles holidays and single events etc
SonOfAGun Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 I feel the same, I just want to love someone and someone to love me in return, maybe one day.... 3
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 I read a booked called Guerrilla Dating. It suggesting that finding the one is kind of like job hunting. You have to try a lot of different methods & old is just one. You also need to smile & be generally cheerful & approachable (tempered with caution because we do live in a dangerous world). One of the silliest suggestions I found, which I admit I did , was write letters to your true love. Date each letter & talk about what is going on in your life at that point. In the letters talk about things you dream of doing together, where you'll go, what your life together will be like. Write the letters, put them in envelopes & put them away in a special place. Allegedly the reciepient will come into your life. I don't know if it worked, if I was projecting or it was wishful thinking but after the man who is now my husband proposed, I re-read the letters & they were pretty spot on. I gave them to him to read when we got home from the HM; he couldn't believe that I wrote them before I knew him. They really spoke to him. 5
Targetlock Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 yep, waiting for someone to give me a chance, i believe in love as it happens around me but never to me nobody ever wants me P.S I've been out drinking tonight, i will be back to my usual optimistic self, drink reminds me how alone i am alone 1
InnocentMan Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Stop looking for it. Not everyone is destined to have 'true love' in their life. Now finding a partner, is a different matter. Try not confuse the two. The only time I've found anything close to 'love', is when I literally couldn't be bothered with women. Strange really. 1
Targetlock Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 happy to have either, but getting it seems to be tricky.
2fargone Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Does it exist? Where to find it? OLD I'm not sure about seems to be full of people with emotional issues I have lots of hobbies, a good job, I get out and about lots. I'm good looking, good body, big boobs, long blonde hair, dress nicely, am a good person, morals in the right place, great heart.......and yet I cannot find true love. What gives? Maybe the only way is too go on singles holidays and single events etc True love is not to be found, it finds you. For me it would certainly not be about your job or your hobbies... Singles events seem to arranged for me. And I can just imagine those kind of events being the right place for predators. 3
Author Softie Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 True love is not to be found, it finds you. For me it would certainly not be about your job or your hobbies... Singles events seem to arranged for me. And I can just imagine those kind of events being the right place for predators. I'm not sure it does find you these days. Similar as jobs, you have to network with the rights people or go looking?
2fargone Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I'm not sure it does find you these days. Similar as jobs, you have to network with the rights people or go looking? Well, that does make it sound like a job I have never looked for anyone really. They found me. In chronological order it was at school, uncles neighbours daughter, a wedding, work, an online forum, vacation, an online game. So while the 'place' changed (an online forum or game was unthinkable 20 years ago), they all happened when I wasn't searching. 3 of these were from another country even. To me it always happens when I least expect it. 2
Disillusioned Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 These days the idea of honest-to-God love has practically become taboo, and it kind of pisses me off, because if I'm not getting my s. together for the goal of love, then why the hell am I wasting my energy? "If but life can just supply/A few good f's and then we die" doesn't do it for me, buddy.
reddragon588 Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Everyone complains about how hard it is and how much easier it was "back in the day". Well guess what? Back in the day, everyone was complaining about how hard it was and how much better it was "back in the day". The key is to stop complaining about how hard it is to find love and go out and live your life in a way that makes you happy, and it will find its way to you eventually. Even if it takes its sweet ass time. 1
Teraskas Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 yep, waiting for someone to give me a chance, i believe in love as it happens around me but never to me nobody ever wants me P.S I've been out drinking tonight, i will be back to my usual optimistic self, drink reminds me how alone i am alone Lol, I know the feeling. :/ All around me, I see people getting in relationships so easily. Women more than men if anything. It's not that I can't connect to women. Sometimes we'll find common ground and the conversation builds from there, but always concludes with a 'Let's be friends, I only see you as a friend, etc.' I'm always the one doing the initiating, or in short everything. Most women I meet are always the '1 word sentence' response type. Doesn't even come to mind that they too could be asking questions. I have so much to offer, but to think a woman would make a move JUST ONCE ? Nope, not in this Western society, lol. ^^
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 19, 2013 Posted December 19, 2013 We all want it. I do believe that it's a lot of like job hunting and putting yourself out there. If you sit at home and do nothing it's not gonna find you. Personally, "you will find it when you least expect it" is BS for me. I went years without a boyfriend when I wasn't looking for him. The year I decided I want a serious boyfriend, I decided never to reject a social invitation. No matter how tired I felt. I also had OLD accounts everywhere. I ended up meeting him at a party. Have I not approached it like hard work, I would have never met him. He wasn't my true love but he was good enough for the time being. I am still approaching it like work, wish it was different but for me, luck hasn't been on my side. 1
felicity1 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 You also need to smile & be generally cheerful & approachable (tempered with caution because we do live in a dangerous world). /QUOTE] In the country where I live, recently a women was raped and murdered after a date with a man she met online.
AnyaNova Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 I'm not sure it does find you these days. Similar as jobs, you have to network with the rights people or go looking? Network????? *suddenly palms start to sweat* If networking is required, I might as well give up now. I'm a shy introvert who goes for shy introverts. Job hunting fills me with loads of anxiety, and you are saying I have to approach it like that? "Here's you're application to see if one day I might let you stick your tongue in my mouth?" Eww! Better get started on my crazy cat lady kit now. Which is too bad, because I tend to believe that there should not be more cats than laps in a household, so that no kitty desirous of cuddles, ever has to do without! 3
jimloveslips Posted December 23, 2013 Posted December 23, 2013 I guess nobody else agrees with me about this, but stop hunting. Be normal. As soon as you go out hunting your personality changes - it's not the real you, you're inconsistent, you put out the wrong signals, people get nervous... I think you are doing all the right things, but just be yourself doing them, not you're idea of what someone else wants... let someone find the real you... 2
Author Softie Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 I guess nobody else agrees with me about this, but stop hunting. Be normal. As soon as you go out hunting your personality changes - it's not the real you, you're inconsistent, you put out the wrong signals, people get nervous... I think you are doing all the right things, but just be yourself doing them, not you're idea of what someone else wants... let someone find the real you... How do you stop looking but remain open enough that your not shut down/cold to the pop sex???
Targetlock Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 i always hate it when people say 'it will happen when you stop looking' (always people in relationships tell me this) how are you supposed to find what you are looking for and for it for it to find you find you if you don't get out there and find it. its like finding the right job i suppose but much nicer, you've got to get yourself out there and socialising ( i don't like the term 'networking' for this kind of thing, sounds weird to me) , unfortunately this makes me a bit of hypocrite as i'm rather socially awkward and don't get out enough, but this upcoming new year i will be doing something about it 2
PPamgirl Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 i feel u people, i don´t find what i want either i feel like i won´t ever find, i got tired of search and i am starting to give up, i am getting very close to decide to spend my whole life alone :(
sarbunoemi Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 If you don't get bothered, desperate in finding love, love will find you. Be cool, meet new people and the right one will come along. Enjoy your life. Don't worry. 1
2fargone Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 How do you stop looking but remain open enough that your not shut down/cold to the pop sex??? I never look. I'm fine by myself. And I'm fine in a relationship. So I guess there is some truth in 'being happy with yourself' but I just don't like cliches. It happens when it happens. And mind you, I'm blind for the subtlety women throw at me. But it always happens, and I never have to wait long for it (then again I'm not in waiting mode either).
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