What is drama; how do you define it? Or is it personality type?

[Babolat]

I think the personality stuff is interesting too. It's not necessarily a deal breaker for me, but in my current relationship we took the tests for fun and it's nice to get a better sense of how each other's minds work. Same with zodiac signs, take a little away from it but obviously it's not an end all be all in all circumstances.

 

I do point out quite often to my bf that I'm an INFJ AND a Cancer, and I fit both descriptions very well - so I'm pretty darn sensitive. LOL.

 

My exH was a Sagitarius and also a restless person, and clinically diagnosed ADHD. After living with him for 10+ years (and experiencing the monstrous fallout) and seeing the toll it's taken on me I don't think I can enter into a relationship again with such a drastic dynamic.

 

My Gemini/Cancer cusp ENFJ and I have a MUCH MUCH better dynamic together

 

Interestng, you and I test very close on the personality tests, my ex gf tested ENFJ, and you state your Gemini ENFH (very close to where she tested) and you have a better dynamic. I would have thought the oppositie, that you would fit closer to someone like yourself.

 

Why do you think that is so? That you too flow better?

[Babolat]

I have been reading up on ENFJs, and this, is her, to a T! Pretty cool stuff.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Your ex sounds exhausting. I can't be around people like that because I get too drained.

[Babolat]

Your ex sounds exhausting. I can't be around people like that because I get too drained.

 

I would not say exhausting. She is different than me. And I feel anxious sometimes because of it, because i don't understand it.

 

I just found this online, dating an ENFJ, and, this is her to a T. It also explains a lot of what i saw when we dated before, her going out all the time, needing to be with her friends, be social, etc. She is the type that needs to be with her friends, needs to be around people, needs social interaction. I took some of that the wrong way, so at least this helps explain her more.

 

The last part also explains some of what I saw in her then, and now. She has "appearance" stuff that I always judged in my head as her needing attention.

 

This weekend she was talking about somethimg appearance realted, she thinks is due to age (getting older), she "misses" how it made her feel when she was younger, and started crying, as she said she does not feel as much like a woman now. I could not understand it..now I do a little. I judged her (not verbally to her) for having breast implants, dying her hair, always talking about her hair, talking about wanting to do botox one day, talking about her body, how she wants ot be in better shape, how she does not "have what she had when she was younger". She speaks often about how she "use to look" compared to now, and, that as a woman, it upsets her. Seeing the true emotion behind that this weekend, tears and istening to her, affected me. She said "as long as you think I am sexy, and beautiful, thats all the matters"

 

"Supportive, empathetic and responsible, the ENFJ is known to have all the makings of an idealist leader. However if you are close to a guy or girl of this personality type, you will find them bringing the same qualities of warmth, generosity and insight in a personal relationship too. Here are a few points to remember when dating an ENFJ partner.

 

Learn to live with their large social circle

ENFJs are famous for being a ‘people’s person’. The presence of Intuitive and Feeling aspects in their personality make ENFJs see the best in others and try to help others to live up to their full potential. They are able to do all this by their excellent people skills which not only include a deep insight into the motivations, feelings and potentials of others but also their dexterity in communication. ENFJs are quickly able to make people around them feel at ease and then help them to express their emotions, thoughts and plans. The consequence of all these tendencies is that ENFJs are likely to have a large circle of friends, family, acquaintances from work and other places like the gym or the library. If you are an introvert or uncomfortable among too many people, you might have difficulty in understanding your partner’s gregarious nature. However remember that he/she comes across to others as a warm, friendly human being and it is in your partner’s nature to make people happy to be around her/him.

 

Have patience

ENFJs bring a lot of effort and energy into their relationships. In fact to large extent, they define themselves according to the closeness and authenticity of their personal attachments. As a result, ESFJs are highly invested in the business of relationships and will go to a great extent to please their partners. So you can trust your ENFJ partner to put a great deal of thought into and scour several places before coming up with the right birthday gift for you. However this excessive emotional investment in a relationship may often become overwhelming so that their partner may feel smothered at times by too much attention or repeated questions of what how they are feeling and what they are thinking. At such times, you need to have patience with your ENFJ mate and realize that the health and mutual satisfaction of a close relationship is an important source of self-validation for them.

 

Indulge their interests

A major reason why ENFJs are so tuned to people and relationships is because of their excellent communication skills. The combination of the Intuitive and Feeling aspects into their personality makes them not only adept at expressing their own thoughts and feelings but also very good at gauging what motivates and pleases other people. In fact you may find your ENFJ partner often talking about other people in their lives and sharing their insights about people, their emotions and motivations. So when dating an ENFJ, try to think of activities in which she can indulge their verbal dexterity and inter-personal skills. Catching a play by an amateur theatrical group or attending writers’ workshop could be enjoyable ways to spend an evening with your ENFJ partner. Even story-telling session for kids at your neighborhood library or a visit to the arts museum could be a pleasant way to pass time for you both together. Among other hobbies which are known to interest ENFJs are listening to music, gourmet cooking and organizing social events.

 

Take care while passing criticism

One problem area in a relationship with ENFJs is their extreme sensitivity to criticism. They are apt to take any remark about their performance or appearance very personally and can become highly emotional and even quite harsh when their feelings are hurt. So when you feel you need to discuss an issue, take care to avoid an accusatory stance. Make your observation as impersonal as possible and above all, have several possible solutions ready so that your ENFJ partner does not feel that the purpose of discussing an issue is to launch a personal attack on them.

"

Edited December 16, 2013 by Babolat

[Babolat]

I just read up on dating an ISTJ, dating em, and wow, again, it's me to a T, and how I feel when she does certain things.

 

http://futurescopes.com/dating-personality-type/2799/dating-istj-personality-type-man-or-woman

 

I am feeling a lot better about myself, as, I previously thought this was judgement, when, in fact, it's how I am wired, it's me.

 

The link talks about cooking dinner for "my type"; she did that two times in a row this week, without asking. One time she showed up with grocery bags, went right ot the kitchne, and started cooking. The 2nd time I came home and she was cooking, and, I LOVED it.

 

An example from what I read about dating my personality type (I bolded what struck me, with us):

 

"One of the things that ISTJ people hate most is unpunctuality. To them being late is much more than a sign of forgetfulness – it is an indication of a chaotic and unplanned way of life, a personality which is out of sync with its priorities and negligent of its commitments. So when dating an ISTJ partner, make sure you are on time and for good measure even arrive a few minutes early when taking your girlfriend out for a movie or concert.

 

Appearances are quite important to people of the ISTJ type. Unkempt hair or unshaven face may be your way of taking a stand against mainstream notions of fashion and culture, but it is unlikely to cut ice with an ISTJ guy or girl. Before you go on a date with an ISTJ partner, make sure you are well-groomed with perhaps just a hint of makeup or just the right amount of cologne. At the same time, avoid flamboyant colors and designs or too revealing an outfit. Stay away from an ostentatious display of jewelry but wear just a solitaire or an expensive watch since these people are quick to notice signs of exclusivity. Smart and classy are the keywords here and will send out just the right message to a person who sets high store by discretion and real worth."

 

She is never on time and it causes me anxiety/stress. She is not much on planning either. I also love, love, love a more natural, low make up look on a woman. I have shared this with her mainly because I think she is beautiful with little to no make up, yet she likes to wear it. And, she has breast implants, they, of course "show", and when she wears a low cut top or something tight, it has always bothered me, I feel like she needs the attention. When, in fact, reading up on her personality type, where appearance is key/important, it makes sense now, why there is a "clash". I always tell my friends I like a "classy" woman, so it was strange to see that word used in this link.

 

Reading this stuff and this thread has helped me, as, I always felt like I was judging her, even maybe being a bit controlling. When, in fact, it's who I am. Should she change? Should I change? I don't want her to change, I don't want to be controlling. The links talk about understanding your partner, who they are, and how you can approach them differently.

 

What I think this helps with is knowing how you partner "is", and what you can do to try to meet their personality needs, and, understand where your personalities are different. Maybe make some adjustments in how you respond/react, and give them more of what they need, because of who they are.

Edited December 16, 2013 by Babolat

[MsOptimist]

Interestng, you and I test very close on the personality tests, my ex gf tested ENFJ, and you state your Gemini ENFH (very close to where she tested) and you have a better dynamic. I would have thought the oppositie, that you would fit closer to someone like yourself.

 

Why do you think that is so? That you too flow better?

 

Well it's interesting to me that your ex is also an ENFJ and she sounds nothing like my bf. He is a busy person and can multi-task extremely well and switch from one thing to the next easily. He did score only 1% E vs I though, so he has a lot of introvert tendencies and enjoys a quiet evening in as much as he enjoys a night out.

 

I do tend to be drawn more to extroverts, and many people tell me that they don't believe I'm an introvert because I usually can socialize quite well and I am not shy. While I understand introverts very well, it's always a bit awkward interacting with them - lots of awkward silence.

 

The biggest difference in my relationship now vs in my marriage is more about empathy and freely expressing emotion. I'm a highly emotional and feeling person and I'm in tune with my emotions and others' emotions. My exH was not emotional or empathetic at all and I got my feelings hurt often with his blunt honesty. Current bf, true to the ENFJ profile, is an excellent communicator and is very honest but his delivery is so much more appealing to me than the ESTP harsh delivery style of my exH.

 

I think the NF dynamic is very strong with myself and my bf. He's very in tune with how I feel and VERY perceptive and we can share so easily together. It's so evident that he truly cares what I think and how I feel. We've simply clicked since the day we met and everything flows easily. It helps greatly that we have many shared interests too - we're both big nerds haha!

Edited December 16, 2013 by MsOptimist

[Babolat]

Well it's interesting to me that your ex is also an ENFJ and she sounds nothing like my bf. He is a busy person and can multi-task extremely well and switch from one thing to the next easily. He did score only 1% E vs I though, so he has a lot of introvert tendencies and enjoys a quiet evening in as much as he enjoys a night out.

Oh, she is a multi-tasker, a crazy one. She can have 5-10 different work projects, personal projects and the like going on at any given time. And quite good at it. I'm amazed how she manages it. She likes a quiet evening too, as much as she likes to go out for the night. But, she needs that social interaction a ot more than I do. I've even started to notice the difference in us when we go out to a club, bar, party. She likes to sit and talk to people, get to know them, while I like to interact with "my circle", stand more, dance more, etc.

 

I'm drawn to extroverts too. And, I hear the same as you, people don't believe I test as an introvert as I can socialize well, and don't come across as shy.

 

I had a lot of awkward silence with the woman I refer to here as my FWB. She was not a talker, at all, and it was not natural for me. I found myself starting all of our conversations, coming up with things to talk about, etc. I think my initial attraction to her was she was the oppositie of my ex gf, and, I thought that was what I wanted then. Yet, after spending more time with her, I missed being more social all of the quiet, well, bored me.

 

My ex gf is very in tune with me, and, even recently said she sometimes sees "two of me". She can't explain it, and it's strange to hear, but even just the other day she said "you are the other Babolat I see right now". She said I can change throughout the day. She is very much into zodiac, psychic stuff, even use to do Tarot card readings. She did one on me once, and was spot on.

Edited December 16, 2013 by Babolat

[Babolat]

Took the test, says I am an ISTJ. Though, I want to wait a bit and take it again, as some of the questions were not a yes or No to me.

 

I read up on ISTJ and it does fit me.

 

Just took it again, and this time I am ISFJ

 

So, I am definitely I S and J. Still trying to figure out that 3rd position, am I T or J!?

 

I can't find a good site that breaks down the 4 positions though to figure it out.

[MidwestUSA]

Just took it again, and this time I am ISFJ

 

So, I am definitely I S and J. Still trying to figure out that 3rd position, am I T or J!?

 

I can't find a good site that breaks down the 4 positions though to figure it out.

If you take the full version of the test, I'm sure you'll get it. (Might cost a couple bucks).

 

I've decided that I vs E is enough knowledge for me, and that my sitch isn't drama at all. Just a hyperactive, borderline ADD, flight of ideas thing that I can live with. I've got one that's still trainable, LOL!

 

I'm an ISTP (borderline J). I'll read up and see if we're similar.

[Shepp]

The whole thing reminded me of a story she told me when we dated, where there was a blizzared once, she had to get to a bar to be with her friends, she walked, its was like 5 miles, she ended up passed out from the cold and being tired (I think she was sick then too), someone found her, and took her to the bar. She could not stay in, she just had to get to her friends.

Wow that Is extream!

 

I have been reading up on ENFJs, and this, is her, to a T! Pretty cool stuff.

 

I used to think this stuff was a load of toff, but when I actually read up on it a while a go I was surprised how accurate it was!!

I'm ESTP - which is supposedly the 'doer', 'straight shooting' 'no time for theory/just get on with it' 'doggedly stick to your principles' 'big-kid'. I can't lie everything it says reminds me of me!

My girlfriends ENFP - an ideas person with no time for details. Charming, risk-taking, gift of the gab. It's very her!

 

It's cool, I have a feeling their not meant to be all that compatible thou, not sure, but our star signs are - so heres hoping the Babylonians knew what they were doing!

[Ruby Slippers]

My ex gf is very in tune with me, and, even recently said she sometimes sees "two of me". She can't explain it, and it's strange to hear, but even just the other day she said "you are the other Babolat I see right now". She said I can change throughout the day. She is very much into zodiac, psychic stuff, even use to do Tarot card readings. She did one on me once, and was spot on.

That's Gemini. You are The Twins.

 

I find it funny that you're still referring to her as your "ex gf", when it sounds like she's practically living with you already

[Babolat]

Wow that Is extream!

 

 

 

I used to think this stuff was a load of toff, but when I actually read up on it a while a go I was surprised how accurate it was!!

I'm ESTP - which is supposedly the 'doer', 'straight shooting' 'no time for theory/just get on with it' 'doggedly stick to your principles' 'big-kid'. I can't lie everything it says reminds me of me!

My girlfriends ENFP - an ideas person with no time for details. Charming, risk-taking, gift of the gab. It's very her!

 

It's cool, I have a feeling their not meant to be all that compatible thou, not sure, but our star signs are - so heres hoping the Babylonians knew what they were doing!

 

Yeah, I've been doing some reading on which ones are compatibel, and which ones are not.

 

I think the value in these tests, once already in a relationship, is understanding where you are different, and how to address that in your relationship. How can we better interact and communicate with each other. What do you need, what do I need, all that good stuff.

[Babolat]

I find it funny that you're still referring to her as your "ex gf", when it sounds like she's practically living with you already

 

I do too, and I think about that as I type out "ex gf". She even recently used "your girlfriend" when referencing herself in a conversation we had, and quickly said "I mean your friend". I asked her what she has told her daughter; she said "That we are talking".

 

I think it's because I have not made a comittment in my head yet, still guarded, still trying to figure it out. I am looking more long term this time, thus my recent posts. Yeah, short term we can work and have fun, but, long term, can this work.

 

She has made major life changes, I see it. And I like it. The low level anxiety I have been feeling, which was a high level anxiety when we dated before, is now more, what I think, are personality type differences.

 

Now I am asking myself "are we a good fit?" long term. She thinks we are, she loves our differences, I am still thinking.....

Edited December 16, 2013 by Babolat

[Babolat]

That's Gemini. You are The Twins.

 

I find it funny that you're still referring to her as your "ex gf", when it sounds like she's practically living with you already

 

And no, not living with me. She stayed over Saturday night and 2 nights this last week. That was a lot for me, and I need a break.

 

We had plans to watch a parade near my house Saturday. It rained and her and her daughter have the bug I had, now, so that got nixed. I assumed, since she was sick, she would stay home.

 

I did something I have never done before with us, on Saturday night. I had plans to go to a Christmas party with friends, she came over around 3 (I think she was getting ansy at home, she texted me to ask if it was OK to come over). I was going to stay home with her and her daughter, though, I went to my party instead, and, did not invite her, which felt kind of cold. But, I needed to be with my friends, without her present, do my own thing, that night. So, I stuck to my plans, and she stayed at my house with her daughter.

 

In the past I would have broken my plans and done something with her. It kind of felt like I was "cheating" in a weird way.

[Under The Radar]

Thanks for the posts PinkInTheLimo and SalParadise.

 

It seems rather likely that I'm a combination of 2 or more personality types ...... though I don't suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder .

 

I can definitely see some of the INTJ characteristics in me, but others not so much.

[Bigcitydreamer]

Interesting! I am IN(T/f)J and my ex was ESFP, and it was not pretty. I now have a really nice INFJ gf and we're so smooth together. I just can't explain how nice it is to have such compatibility, understanding and calmness.

 

I need to do more reading, but it's my theory for the moment that ES and IN don't mix well, however, EN can work. My ideal match is supposedly ENFP but the real critical part is NF and E/I and P/J could go either way.

 

Can someone tell me where you get these personality tests that tells you what type you are? I wanna know what I am

[Bigcitydreamer]

Never mind I found the link a few pages back! It's weird they can explain personalities so well like that! Sorry for the thread jack Babolot, as I don't have much to add about the girl you are talking about. You remind me of me though as I am also indecisive in my relationship and can see many issues similar to the stuff you talk about. My bf isn't like your ex at all but I ponder about a lot of incompatabilities. I don't think it should be like that to be honest. I sort of think that stuff should flow easier in order to make that person the one you spend your life on. Hopefully you can figure out where you stand with her soon.

[Shepp]

Yeah, I've been doing some reading on which ones are compatibel, and which ones are not.

 

I think the value in these tests, once already in a relationship, is understanding where you are different, and how to address that in your relationship. How can we better interact and communicate with each other. What do you need, what do I need, all that good stuff.

 

That is a good point!

I dunno about compatibility in general, I just think when you work with someone you work with them, even if you cant explain why!

But I do agree that looking at it can bring to your attention what you already know is there - maybe make you watch what your doing.

 

 

That's why I do believe that any people can work together, as long as you stay aware of your differences!

Like personally If I see a problem I just like to, take action, fix it and move on. But because I know my gf doesn't always like that tact so I can make an effort to be sensitive to that, if that makes sense.

[Babolat]

That is a good point!

I dunno about compatibility in general, I just think when you work with someone you work with them, even if you cant explain why!

But I do agree that looking at it can bring to your attention what you already know is there - maybe make you watch what your doing.

 

 

That's why I do believe that any people can work together, as long as you stay aware of your differences!

Like personally If I see a problem I just like to, take action, fix it and move on. But because I know my gf doesn't always like that tact so I can make an effort to be sensitive to that, if that makes sense.

 

Agreed

 

Her and I have been talking about these tests, how we are to "date" per the links I posted, our personality types, where we differ, and. it's been interesting. I've learned some things about her since this thread, I've learned A LOT about me, so, this has been a pretty cool thread.

 

Taking a couple of these personality tests, then reading up on my type, what to expect when dating my type, dating her type, has opened my eyes, and, actually made me feel better about who I am. At times in relationships I have felt judgemental or controlling, which, I do not like. Knowing there are things about me, my make up if you will, that make me who I am, I am very different, why I feel the way I do at times, and understanding who "she" is, and seeing those differences as personlity, not something else, just feels good for some reason. Difficult to explain.

 

I think understanding what an introvert is and what an extrovert is has helped me too. It's not all about being conservative, or not, shy, or not, social, or not, the life of the party or not. It's about knowing who you are, understanding who you are, what you need (for me it's a lot of alone quiet time), where I get my energy, what's bad energy for me, how I recharge, how I don't, etc. I have felt this for a long time, not only in dating, but in my friend relationships, my family, my colleagues, etc.

[Shepp]

Taking a couple of these personality tests, then reading up on my type, what to expect when dating my type, dating her type, has opened my eyes, and, actually made me feel better about who I am. At times in relationships I have felt judgemental or controlling, which, I do not like. Knowing there are things about me, my make up if you will, that make me who I am, I am very different, why I feel the way I do at times, and understanding who "she" is, and seeing those differences as personlity, not something else, just feels good for some reason. Difficult to explain.

 

No, I totally totally get what you mean!! If I read mine it says like "To an ESTP, admission of weakness feels like failure. He admires strength in himself and in others." "strong preference for mental, physical and emotional toughness" - I feel like that's something others sometimes see as a character flaw, though its never felt that way to me, interesting if you consider that that's because it is an element of personality not a deficiency in sensitivity.

 

 

I might be straying from the topic of your thread now, apologies, but I think its an interesting concept that people have almost stopped allowing for personality variation. You could argue people are all to quick to state people have this or that wrong, a complex or a character flaw before just looking at it as a simple matter of personality.

 

This thread has actually made me read a bit more about it. On a lighter note it would definitely appear i'm in the right career "ESTPs are energetic thrillseekers who are at their best when putting out fires, whether literal or metaphorical"

 

 

 

Read more: Profile of the ESTP Personality Type | TypeFinder

 

Read more: Profile of the ESTP Personality Type | TypeFinder

[Babolat]

No, I totally totally get what you mean!! If I read mine it says like "To an ESTP, admission of weakness feels like failure. He admires strength in himself and in others." "strong preference for mental, physical and emotional toughness" - I feel like that's something others sometimes see as a character flaw, though its never felt that way to me, interesting if you consider that that's because it is an element of personality not a deficiency in sensitivity.

 

 

I might be straying from the topic of your thread now, apologies, but I think its an interesting concept that people have almost stopped allowing for personality variation. You could argue people are all to quick to state people have this or that wrong, a complex or a character flaw before just looking at it as a simple matter of personality.

 

This thread has actually made me read a bit more about it. On a lighter note it would definitely appear i'm in the right career "ESTPs are energetic thrillseekers who are at their best when putting out fires, whether literal or metaphorical"

 

 

 

Read more: Profile of the ESTP Personality Type | TypeFinder

 

Read more: Profile of the ESTP Personality Type | TypeFinder

 

Ha, typefinder is the exact site I was on today, I really like it. And, work/career wise, it is 100% spot on for me, and the ex. In fact, she is going back to school to become what the site says is her #1 hottest career. And the #2 is what she currently does.

 

I like thw phrase you used, personality variation. And your comments after that. This thread, and my reading up on personality types, is helping me look at my ex a little different, like I get her a little more now, and what appeared as flaws, weaknesses, issues, I now understand are part of her personality. And, well, my personality is different. In fact, a lot of her comments about "how I am" are exactly that, my personaility.

 

An example, she use to tell me I can come across as a snob, cold, removed sometimes in social settings. Well, it's part of my personality, it's not intentional, it's not judgement of those around me, it's me. At other times I can be a social butterfly. She now gets that part of me. I now get why she has a HUGE social circle, and why it's so importnat to her to have these relationships..it's her personality, she needs it (she is an ENFJ).

 

.

Edited December 17, 2013 by Babolat

[Shepp]

Ha, typefinder is the exact site I was on today, I really like it. And, work/career wise, it is 100% spot on for me, and the ex. In fact, she is going back to school to become what the site says is her #1 hottest career. And the #2 is what she currently does.

haha, oops didn't reised it slipped in a little advertising there with my copy and pasting!

It is a good site, no doubt!

 

I like thw phrase you used, personality variation. And your comments after that. This thread, and my reading up on personality types, is helping me look at my ex a little different, like I get her a little more now, and what appeared as flaws, weaknesses, issues, I now understand are part of her personality. And, well, my personality is different. In fact, a lot of her comments about "how I am" are exactly that, my personaility.

This is it!! We are all different and I think, more often than people seem to suggest, that's okay!

But your right understanding someone's personality does help your relationship with them!

 

An example, she use to tell me I can come across as a snob, cold, removed sometimes in social settings. Well, it's part of my personality, it's not intentional, it's not judgement of those around me, it's me. At other times I can be a social butterfly. She now gets that part of me. I now get why she has a HUGE social circle, and why it's so importnat to her to have these relationships..it's her personality, she needs it (she is an ENFJ).

Yeah, I think that maybe to an extent We all judge other people by our own personalities! When we learn more about each others I think its easier to have tolerance for where we clash, and to strengthen where we gel.

 

I remember when I lived at home right from about the age of 8 upwards I used to get so irrationally Irritated when my dad used to want to read the instructions before setting a new thing up. At the time I didn't understand why, I didn't understand why he'd want to waste time like that and I didn't understand why it bothered me so much.

But if you put a little time into it you see it written down in black and white online - that people with my type of personality don't like to waste time with theory, they want to jump in and deal with problems as and when they arise. That too much structure or theory prior to action physically drains them - and now I get it a little more.

I get why i felt so strongly about it - it's my personality. And maybe just as importantly I get why my dad had to read the instructions - because it wasn't his!

I can't judge him by my personality, I can't expect him to act the way I would. He'll approach tasks in his own way because we're different men. We have different personalities.

 

I think that holds true in all types of relationships. When you realise someone's doing something because it's who they are not to annoy the hell out of you, then your relationship can only be stronger.

[Babolat]

haha, oops didn't reised it slipped in a little advertising there with my copy and pasting!

It is a good site, no doubt!

 

 

This is it!! We are all different and I think, more often than people seem to suggest, that's okay!

But your right understanding someone's personality does help your relationship with them!

 

 

Yeah, I think that maybe to an extent We all judge other people by our own personalities! When we learn more about each others I think its easier to have tolerance for where we clash, and to strengthen where we gel.

 

I remember when I lived at home right from about the age of 8 upwards I used to get so irrationally Irritated when my dad used to want to read the instructions before setting a new thing up. At the time I didn't understand why, I didn't understand why he'd want to waste time like that and I didn't understand why it bothered me so much.

But if you put a little time into it you see it written down in black and white online - that people with my type of personality don't like to waste time with theory, they want to jump in and deal with problems as and when they arise. That too much structure or theory prior to action physically drains them - and now I get it a little more.

I get why i felt so strongly about it - it's my personality. And maybe just as importantly I get why my dad had to read the instructions - because it wasn't his!

I can't judge him by my personality, I can't expect him to act the way I would. He'll approach tasks in his own way because we're different men. We have different personalities.

 

I think that holds true in all types of relationships. When you realise someone's doing something because it's who they are not to annoy the hell out of you, then your relationship can only be stronger.

Well said! I sent the test link to the woman I refer to as a FWB on here. She took it, and has the exact same personality type as me...ISTJ. Interesting.

[CrystalCastles]

I prefer this site:

 

Portrait of an INFJ

 

I'm an INFJ. I'm pretty sure that site also has the test as well. I found the typefinder was not as accurate.

[Babolat]

I prefer this site:

 

Portrait of an INFJ

 

I'm an INFJ. I'm pretty sure that site also has the test as well. I found the typefinder was not as accurate.

I have been on this site too. It did not feel as accurate for me. It's probably more about the presentation of the site itself, it looks elementary compared to the other one.