What is drama; how do you define it? Or is it personality type?

[Babolat]

Just took the OKCupid one.

 

Rubys test and the OKCupid one both confirm I am an I, a S and a J. They differ on the F and T though (the 3rd position).

 

I found the OKCupid one kind of goofy though:

 

ISFJ

 

You scored 78Introversion, 38 iNtuitiveness, 64 Feelingnessand 63 Judgingness!

 

Like the ISTJ, you are a servant first and foremost. You wonder, are people's needs being met? Are people having fun and being developed at the same time? You do everything you can to assure that people's needs are met. The rooms must be clean, the food must be prepared. You are extraordinarily practical, while making sure that everyone is happy. When someone swims upstream however, you might get upset. However, you do what it takes to rectify the situation without using blunt force. ISFJ's are hopeless romantics, and they love all of the cheesy stuff that goes along with it.Extrovert: You are internally focused

Sensing: You are concrete

Feeling: You use feeling to make decisions

Judging: You primarily use your sense of rightness to affect your inner balance

[Babolat]

Wow nice! I took the 1st one.

Actualized type: ISTJ

(who you are)

Introverted (I) 60% Extroverted (E) 40%

Sensing (S) 50% Intuitive (N) 50%

Thinking (T) 57.14% Feeling (F) 42.86%

Judging (J) 62.96% Perceiving (P) 37.04%

 

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

*The current algorithm breaks the tie randomly so refresh the page to see alternate results

 

Preferred type: ISTJ

(who you prefer to be)

 

Attraction type: ISFJ

(who you are attracted to)

Introverted (I) 51.52% Extroverted (E) 48.48%

Sensing (S) 53.13% Intuitive (N) 46.88%

Feeling (F) 56.41% Thinking (T) 43.59%

Judging (J) 68% Perceiving (P) 32%

 

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

*The current algorithm breaks the tie randomly so refresh the page to see alternate results

 

Nice!

 

We are both ISTJ..so, How you doing? You come here often?

[regine_phalange]

We are both ISTJ..so, How you doing? You come here often?

 

Oh hey!

If you are an ISFJ, I come here often.

If you are an ISTJ, I don't!

[Babolat]

Oh hey!

If you are an ISFJ, I come here often.

If you are an ISTJ, I don't!

I am IS J

 

Still working on the 3rd letter!

[TheGuard13]

Drama, to me, is overanalyzing, overreacting, and seeking out intense emotional situations so as to make oneself the center of attention, even if one has to manipulate events and people to get there.

 

 

This just sounds like different personality types.

[FrankieFrank]

Drama for me means constant provoking of emotions via eg. picking up arguments, randomly blowing up or overreacting to mundane stuff. I guess intent behind drama queens/kings is negative emotions are better than none. Ie. it's better to be hated than treated indifferently.

[Babolat]

Myers Briggs test here: Personality test based on C. Jung and I. Briggs Myers type theory

 

I'm INFJ, and the partner I felt the strongest and easiest bond with was also an INFJ. He's my business partner, and though we are zodiac opposites (I'm Cancer, he's Capricorn), we have a very similar way of making sense of the world. We're both extremely sensitive, have far higher senses of responsibility than most people, honest to a fault. The time we spent together just flowed easily. We didn't even have to talk about it. We were just in this groove and never got out of it. (Our only interference was his very needy, meddling family, which was our undoing.)

 

She just took this test, she is ENFJ, I am ISTJ

 

Are we doomed?

[Ruby Slippers]

Are we doomed?

Who knows? But I agree that the constant noise and chaos would drive me absolutely insane. I wouldn't be able to tolerate it. I HATE having the TV on as background noise. It's one of my least favorite things about visiting my parents. My dad always has crappy political TV blaring. As soon as he leaves, my mom turns it off, and we both sigh in relief to have some peace and quiet.

 

I also don't see what you've described as drama - it's more restlessness.

 

I get along in relationships best with men who are more quiet and introspective, like myself.

 

What is her zodiac sign? She sounds like a Sagittarius. I had a Sagittarius ex who was constantly restless, and even said himself he didn't know how to relax.

[Babolat]

 

What is her zodiac sign? She sounds like a Sagittarius. I had a Sagittarius ex who was constantly restless, and even said himself he didn't know how to relax.

 

Pices

 

Ex wife was a Sagittarious - she too seemed to always need to have the TV on, I remember always asking her if we could turn it off and actually talk.

 

I'm a Gemini

[salparadise]

This woman sounds like a total nightmare to me. Are you sure she does not suffer from attention deficit disorder?

 

As a matter of fact I find that a lot of women are like that and that's also the reason I don't have a lot of girlfriends. Even though I am a woman I find most women too exhausting for me.

 

For years I tolerated this in my "friendships" with women until I got so frustrated that I kind of withdrew.

 

I am INTJ.

 

I think that perhaps you just need to be more selective about who you befriend. You realize that female INTJ is the rarest of all the types (when broken down by gender)? INTJ has a lot of what are sometimes thought of as male characteristics. I am INTJ, so I understand how it is. You have a low tolerance for BS, expect people to do what they say. You live in your head, in a theoretical world based on efficient, functional systems. You prefer a few close friends to the wide social circle. You prefer substance over glamour. So stay away from the ES's and cozy up to a few interesting NF's for friendships.

[salparadise]

She sounds like a Sagittarius. I had a Sagittarius ex who was constantly restless, and even said himself he didn't know how to relax.

 

I didn't realize that restlessness was a Sagittarius trait. My ex was Sagittarius, and ESFP, and she was not only in constant motion herself, she expected me to be. I would often go to the basement to escape, and she didn't like that either.

[Leigh 87]

Drama?

 

- not letting your partner see their friends and demanding they spend every weekend with you, or all their spare time with you in general

 

- having a go at them for talking to members of the opposite sex

 

- you or them being disrespectful enough to do things that are inappropriate, such as HIM texting a new GIRL he meets every day, more than he texts you even, and hanging out with her every week one on one.

Watching DVD's in a dark room with a member of the opposite sex is also disrespectful.

 

- not getting along with their friends and making a big deal of it; we cannot all click, but you should still be civil to your partners friends and family

 

 

 

 

Those sort of things that are unreasonable to do within a healthy and loving relationship are "drama"

[Babolat]

Interesting stuff. The word "withdrew" resonated with me. I did that a lot in my marriage, and, I am finding, I'm doing it again spending time with my ex. It's how I felt the night she came over this week. It's not near as much as when we dated before though.

 

I had dinner with a buddy last night. He made a comment that since I have been spending time with my ex I am not going out as much, blowing him off. He is being extreme, one time I said no to an invite to go out, as I was sick. I get his point though. Though, at the same time, her and I have been staying in more, watching movies, building a fire, etc. Which, I enjoy, compared to the partying we did when we dated before.

 

I reminded him when I am more "single" I do go out more to be with people, be with friends. He said I need to meet someone where I am comfortable doing everything I always do, and spending time with her.

 

I get his point, though, I do believe, when you start spending time with someone, you do spend less time doing "what you did before" to be with them.

 

This personality stuff is interesting. Wondering how one approaches this, or uses this, in the discovery phase when getting to know someone. And, do I walk away from this one, again, since we are so different on these tests. Or, how do I talk to her about this to get her take on it. She is very open to this kind of stuff and gladly took the test.

[MidwestUSA]

Maybe someone mentioned it, but there is a book, Please Understand Me, that helps you learn how to understand and work with the various personality types. I had it, but tossed it; a former employer put us thru all that testing to try to force us to work better with each other (didn't help as some coworkers were simply bitches, no fixing that).

I'm an ISTP, will be interesting to see what hubbie is. An E for sure. Good luck to you.

[MsOptimist]

This personality stuff is interesting. Wondering how one approaches this, or uses this, in the discovery phase when getting to know someone. And, do I walk away from this one, again, since we are so different on these tests. Or, how do I talk to her about this to get her take on it. She is very open to this kind of stuff and gladly took the test.

 

I think the personality stuff is interesting too. It's not necessarily a deal breaker for me, but in my current relationship we took the tests for fun and it's nice to get a better sense of how each other's minds work. Same with zodiac signs, take a little away from it but obviously it's not an end all be all in all circumstances.

 

I do point out quite often to my bf that I'm an INFJ AND a Cancer, and I fit both descriptions very well - so I'm pretty darn sensitive. LOL.

 

My exH was a Sagitarius and also a restless person, and clinically diagnosed ADHD. After living with him for 10+ years (and experiencing the monstrous fallout) and seeing the toll it's taken on me I don't think I can enter into a relationship again with such a drastic dynamic.

 

My Gemini/Cancer cusp ENFJ and I have a MUCH MUCH better dynamic together

[Under The Radar]

The test says I'm an INTJ ...... interesting.

 

Does this mean I should seek the company of other INTJ's ?

[PinkInTheLimo]

I think that perhaps you just need to be more selective about who you befriend. You realize that female INTJ is the rarest of all the types (when broken down by gender)? INTJ has a lot of what are sometimes thought of as male characteristics. I am INTJ, so I understand how it is. You have a low tolerance for BS, expect people to do what they say. You live in your head, in a theoretical world based on efficient, functional systems. You prefer a few close friends to the wide social circle. You prefer substance over glamour. So stay away from the ES's and cozy up to a few interesting NF's for friendships.

 

Well over the last years I am very selective about my friends and the result is... that I hardly have any left. I actually prefer it this way as there is noone who drains my energy. But it would be nice to have some partners in crime...

 

My experience is indeed that there are few people/women like me and I was really relieved to know that I am actually a "type". And yes, I have a more "masculine" way of thinking although I am also very sensitive and empathic.

 

I actually think most men don't get me as my physical appearance is slender and girly and then it turns out I have this very strong non-sugarcoating character .

[Under The Radar]

If INTJ's have a lot of masculine characteristics, then what, if any, are the feminine traits they carry?

 

Are INTJ's empathetic, introverted, and sensitive, too?

 

I'm just curious.

[PinkInTheLimo]

If INTJ's have a lot of masculine characteristics, then what, if any, are the feminine traits they carry?

 

Are INTJ's empathetic, introverted, and sensitive, too?

 

I'm just curious.

 

As a matter of fact I don't like to label character traits as feminine or masculine. I don't think that women have the monopoly on empathy, introversion and sensitivity. Women are no better human beings than men; some are actually real vipers.

 

I did the personality test in a career guidance center and it turned out I was an INTJ and it is true that I recognise myself best in that type. I am pretty masculine for a woman in the sense that I am very straightforward in my thinking and acting. For example, if I have to make a decision, I reflect on it for a while, gather information and at a certain moment I make my decision. And once it's made I don't go 100 times back and forward as a lot of women do. If my decision disappoints people, I will not haunt myself with misplaced guilt since I know why I took the decision.

At the same time that does not make me insensitive. I have often been told that I am a very good listener so apparently I dispose about a good amount of empathy.

[salparadise]

The test says I'm an INTJ ...... interesting. Does this mean I should seek the company of other INTJ's ?

 

If INTJ's have a lot of masculine characteristics, then what, if any, are the feminine traits they carry? Are INTJ's empathetic, introverted, and sensitive, too? I'm just curious.

 

As PinkInTheLimo says, individual characteristics are neither feminine or masculine, but certain combinations (such as INTJ) tend to present in a way may seem that way overall. INTJ tends to prefer structure, logic, testing of ideas/behaviors based on an accepted theoretical system. We tend to engage a few close friends who "get us" and share our appreciation for substance rather than being expressive social butterflies.

 

None of this precludes sensitivity and empathy, although we can often appear that way to others. In fact, someone who is strong on both T and J may need to work on developing their softer, feeling side and learning to be less rigid. Knowing your preferences helps you to know your weaknesses and work on a more balanced approach to people and life in general.

[salparadise]

The test says I'm an INTJ ...... interesting. Does this mean I should seek the company of other INTJ's ?

 

You will probably relate easily to other INTJs, but our ideal match is said to be an ENFP. I find that to hold up pretty well as I always enjoy the company of ENFPs, however, I think for dating any NF could have potential and the one I really don't think blends well is ES.

[newmoon]

Drama, to me, is overanalyzing, overreacting, and seeking out intense emotional situations so as to make oneself the center of attention, even if one has to manipulate events and people to get there. This just sounds like different personality types.

 

 

I like this definition and actually never understood it before, but do now. I have always been called dramatic (by my ex's, usually) and just didn't understand why. But I kinda get it now, and realize that yeah, I do all the above regularly.

[Shepp]

What's strange though, is sometimes she shuts down unexpectedly. For example, last Friday night we went to a Christmas Party with a DJ, dancing, games, and all that. She sat most of the time and kept telling me to have fun with my friends, that she was fine. I would look over and she would be talking to random folks at a table, so I knew she was fine. I kept "checking on her" and she kept telling me to go be with my friends. She apologized later and said she did not know anyone plus she was tired. I commented that if it was her friends we would have gone til 4AM! She laughed, and, kind of agreed.

 

My girlfirends just like this, she'll be really....i dont know the word either, sorry! I guess - Wired/loud/into everything, all eyes on her, and then sometimes she'll just crash! She'll go 300mph to 0 in the space of about 5 mins! And then if she could she'd just stick at home reading a book for a couple of days.

It's strange really, I don't really give it much thought anymore because Its just her, she's always been like that since we was kids! I'm probably not the 'calmest' person in the world I'm quite 'excitable', don't like being bored, don't like being cooped up inside! But I'm on a much more even keel than her - I'm not as all over the place as she is.

 

 

It's strange actually cause she always slept with the telly on as well, for similarish reasons, I absolutely cannot do that though, would drive me crazy! But I know she still does on my two nightshifts a week...and then tells me she can't sleep those two nights - yeh, wonder why!

[Shepp]

no, it most certainly is not a personality type.

it's a character defect.

& the #1 source is family.

 

It's a good point. I think it's definitely the case for my girlfriend, family, or more like lack of.

 

my #1 dealbreaker is someone who spends an extraordinary amount of time with their family,

be it their parents, siblings, or their own children.

 

Ths makes me chuckle! I do all three! I wouldn't date date someone unless they were hook, line & sinker up for being part of our 'family freak show'

[Babolat]

My girlfirends just like this, she'll be really....i dont know the word either, sorry! I guess - Wired/loud/into everything, all eyes on her, and then sometimes she'll just crash! She'll go 300mph to 0 in the space of about 5 mins! And then if she could she'd just stick at home reading a book for a couple of days.

It's strange really, I don't really give it much thought anymore because Its just her, she's always been like that since we was kids! I'm probably not the 'calmest' person in the world I'm quite 'excitable', don't like being bored, don't like being cooped up inside! But I'm on a much more even keel than her - I'm not as all over the place as she is.

 

 

It's strange actually cause she always slept with the telly on as well, for similarish reasons, I absolutely cannot do that though, would drive me crazy! But I know she still does on my two nightshifts a week...and then tells me she can't sleep those two nights - yeh, wonder why!

 

This weekend I had a guys night out on Saturday, she came over with her daugther around 3PM to spend the night, they were both sick with what I had. Coughing, snorting, snotting, her daughter even had a low fever.

 

I was leaving around 8PM, when she called one of her gfs (I think they had been texting for a while). She was making plans on the phone to meet them out for a drink, she was all excited. She ended up calling them back right before I left to say No, because of her daughter. But she did say if you guys end up close to my house later on, call me.

 

At 12:30AM she texted me, wondering what time I would be home, I thought that was sweet, like she was concerned or missed me.

 

I got home around 1am, she was still up, TV on, working on her necklaces, daughter asleep next to her on the couch. She said she texted me because her same friends called her again, around 12:15AM, said they were close by at a bar, and she was going to go meet them. So, she was sick, tired, 12:30AM, and she still considered going to meet them. She just needs that social interaction. You could not drag me out at that time of night feeling like I know she felt.

 

Yestereday she was on her phone playing some candy game during a 5 minute break in what we were doing. I said "you are restless aren't you (from a comment on this post)". She agreed, said she has always been that way, and she just cant sit and be quiet, said she has tried, she just can't.

 

The whole thing reminded me of a story she told me when we dated, where there was a blizzared once, she had to get to a bar to be with her friends, she walked, its was like 5 miles, she ended up passed out from the cold and being tired (I think she was sick then too), someone found her, and took her to the bar. She could not stay in, she just had to get to her friends.

Edited December 16, 2013 by Babolat