RavNouS Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 This evening I went on a second date with this girl I met online. The first date conversation was awesome and we have an almost identical sense of humor. Last night was much of the same and we instantly went back to the way things were on the first date. We met at a pool hall and played some pool while having a few drinks. Midway through we decided to make "made" shots a truth question where you had to give some not too secret information about yourself. I gave her a lot of interesting stuff about myself, I learned a few interesting things about her. When then moved to the mini bowling lanes at the same venue where we made a similar arrangement. This time the game was truth or dare... eventually she asked me a question about the way I walk (which is due to an inherited condition) and I chose to tell the full truth here. I don't know why I did it, I've never told anyone about it, even close friends... something about this women made me feel safe to spill the beans. Afterwards she seemed to get closer to me and wanted to share more information about herself. We were hooking up the entire time and that did not stop after this info, it only got a bit stronger. I'm wondering if I went a bit too far with the sharing too early?... she doesn't really know me too well and I gave her that info right upfront because she asked... however I did warn her that I was an honest person and didn't like to lie. Did this help? Hurt? Should I proceed as normal?... I've never gone this route before with anyone so I'm wondering if this should be the last time (pending how she replies going forward)... Thanks! 1
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 This evening I went on a second date with this girl I met online. The first date conversation was awesome and we have an almost identical sense of humor. Last night was much of the same and we instantly went back to the way things were on the first date. We met at a pool hall and played some pool while having a few drinks. Midway through we decided to make "made" shots a truth question where you had to give some not too secret information about yourself. I gave her a lot of interesting stuff about myself, I learned a few interesting things about her. When then moved to the mini bowling lanes at the same venue where we made a similar arrangement. This time the game was truth or dare... eventually she asked me a question about the way I walk (which is due to an inherited condition) and I chose to tell the full truth here. I don't know why I did it, I've never told anyone about it, even close friends... something about this women made me feel safe to spill the beans. Afterwards she seemed to get closer to me and wanted to share more information about herself. We were hooking up the entire time and that did not stop after this info, it only got a bit stronger. I'm wondering if I went a bit too far with the sharing too early?... she doesn't really know me too well and I gave her that info right upfront because she asked... however I did warn her that I was an honest person and didn't like to lie. Did this help? Hurt? Should I proceed as normal?... I've never gone this route before with anyone so I'm wondering if this should be the last time (pending how she replies going forward)... Thanks! I don't get the big deal but then again I am super practical. She asked for the truth and she got it; I don't understand your quandary?
SOB86 Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 It's hard to say. If the date continued like normal then i would think it had no affect. 1
Author RavNouS Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 It was towards the end of the date when we were getting ready to wrap things up. She appeared to become a bit more physically close with me after that so who knows I guess. I suppose everyone acts differently to such information but I was just wondering... it could either be a huge mistake this soon into things or something that could bring us closer.
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 In this instance I think it's fine. Obviously she noticed your walk . . . it's not like you hid it. She asked. You answered. While you may have been teased about it or worse growing up, it's probably very painful for you to talk about it but it's not a relationship ender. She is most likely spending less time fretting about it than you because it's not a hot button issue for her. Relax. 1
Author RavNouS Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 In this instance I think it's fine. Obviously she noticed your walk . . . it's not like you hid it. She asked. You answered. While you may have been teased about it or worse growing up, it's probably very painful for you to talk about it but it's not a relationship ender. She is most likely spending less time fretting about it than you because it's not a hot button issue for her. Relax. It's something that came on in high school and I got a bit of teasing on it from my close group of friends so I paid it no mind. Some people notice it, others do not... she happens to work in a profession that's all about the body/movement, etc. so she naturally picked up on it. I didn't make a big deal out of it (nor did she) and kept my normal personality going... We shall see where things go from here.... thanks for the 2 cents!
devilish innocent Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 She's the one who asked the question, so you weren't doing anything inappropriate by answering it. Of course, if you had felt uncomfortable talking about it so soon, then you should have felt free to tell her so. Playing truth or dare on a second date with someone might not be the best idea for that reason. Anyway, it all worked out. She didn't seem to mind. Things were still good between the two of you. So I'm sure it's not an issue. As far as telling anybody else so soon, it's really up to you. This is a personal thing, so it's whatever you're comfortable with. Following your instincts about divulging this information seemed to work this time, so why not follow them next time as well? Anybody who's going to look poorly at you for this might not be somebody you want in your life anyway.
elbe Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 You divulged too much information. As much as girls tell you they want to know these things and they "won't judge you for it" - reality is the exact opposite. Next time play the cute denial game it's a much better card.
Author RavNouS Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 She's the one who asked the question, so you weren't doing anything inappropriate by answering it. Of course, if you had felt uncomfortable talking about it so soon, then you should have felt free to tell her so. Playing truth or dare on a second date with someone might not be the best idea for that reason. Anyway, it all worked out. She didn't seem to mind. Things were still good between the two of you. So I'm sure it's not an issue. As far as telling anybody else so soon, it's really up to you. This is a personal thing, so it's whatever you're comfortable with. Following your instincts about divulging this information seemed to work this time, so why not follow them next time as well? Anybody who's going to look poorly at you for this might not be somebody you want in your life anyway. Yea, truth or dare wasn't a good idea in retrospect. She got some good, interesting info about me but I'd prefer to keep as much under wraps for as long as I can to keep the mystery going. I couldn't have said it better myself, thanks for that. It just felt like she was a reasonable person to mention it to, she wouldn't believe anything else I said about it when I joked... so I just went for it. You divulged too much information. As much as girls tell you they want to know these things and they "won't judge you for it" - reality is the exact opposite. Next time play the cute denial game it's a much better card. Agree with what you've said here too, it's best to keep her wondering. But in the same token, if I'm reluctant to say she could also brand that as something awful is going on and does she really want to continue seeing me if I'm not open and honest about things... it's a double edged sword. I got one with her about the best I ever have with a women so it felt right, it may not happen again.
edgygirl Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 If she didn't change after what you told her and "got closer", I don't see what's the problem. When someone tells me something very personal, it makes me feel closer to them. Okay, I am a woman, so maybe I'm one of those who 'thinks' she likes it (?) The "keeping the mystery" thing works sometimes, but honestly I prefer people who are real and direct. It makes for much better relationships. And you want someone who is compassionate and won't drop you over a physical issue or so, right? Better to weed out the ones who would early on.
InnocentMan Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 Always tell the truth and let the cards fall where they may. The one exception to this, is if she asks if her ass looks big in these jeans. 1
Author RavNouS Posted December 14, 2013 Author Posted December 14, 2013 I suppose she could be. She mentioned her own physical traits that she didn't like after this while pretty much sitting hand in hand. I'm going to call her tomorrow and just keep up with the witty banter, etc. InnocentMan, I'll keep that in mind, thanks. ;-)
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