purplesoccer34 Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 (edited) I got out of a relationship about 4 months ago. The relationship lasted a year, and I dated the best-looking guy I had ever seen in my life. We broke up for a good reason though--his personality was pretty boring, and when I was with him, I was always kind of bored. The only thing that kept me in the relationship was the physical attractiveness, and he was always so romantic and caring. There was no intellectual stimulation, or anything like that. I've known him for 6 years, and during those years, I never knew a more attractive guy. I met a few guys after breaking up with him, but no one even came close to him physically, although they all had much more interesting personalities. I do have to see my ex every now and then since we're part of the same social circle, and I still can't stop myself from admiring his good looks. I'm so scared I may never feel that kind of physical attraction again--especially since my ex raised the bar so high. I'm not very attractive myself--guys never really come up to me, so I'm quite average. My best guy friends have told me this themselves, so I know it's true. However, my ex was someone that girls would always go crazy for, so I was very lucky to date him. There was not one person I knew who didn't find him crazily attractive. He dated me mainly for my personality, however--he would always tell his friends that he absolutely loved my personality, but that I was very average looks-wise. Will there ever come a point in my life when I will stop trying to look for the most physically attractive man on the planet? I know that attraction comes in all forms, but I'm so afraid that if the next guy is not more attractive than my ex, I may never have feelings for him. I know that this is horribly shallow, so how can I get rid of that standard that my ex set for me? Edited December 13, 2013 by purplesoccer34
2fargone Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Give it 40 years and I'm sure you'll be happy with anyone that will have you.... But in all seriousness, do you think it's possible you feel that way because he sort of provided what you think you don't have yourself ? The attractiveness, the looks ? You feeling better because 'someone like him' actually wants to be with 'someone like you' ?
Author purplesoccer34 Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 Give it 40 years and I'm sure you'll be happy with anyone that will have you.... But in all seriousness, do you think it's possible you feel that way because he sort of provided what you think you don't have yourself ? The attractiveness, the looks ? You feeling better because 'someone like him' actually wants to be with 'someone like you' ? Yeah, this is entirely possible. I know I could've never even dreamed of getting someone like him--looks-wise, that is. He was way out of my league.
Am4Real Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 YES is the answer to your question, but you have to want to be stimulated above the shoulders and not between the legs. Will there ever come a point in my life when I will stop trying to look for the most physically attractive man on the planet? I know that attraction comes in all forms, but I'm so afraid that if the next guy is not more attractive than my ex, I may never have feelings for him. I know that this is horribly shallow, so how can I get rid of that standard that my ex set for me?
KatZee Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Ok, we get it. He was good looking. Did he have any other qualities? Dating someone goes away beyond the physical aspect. It's as if you would settle for anything as long as they were hot. Why are you so hung up on a guy who told people you were just "average looking"? The guy who's so in love with you is going to tell everyone that you're beautiful. You may NOT be a complete knock out but that guy will think you're the most beautiful girl on the planet. Maybe you won't get someone who is hotter than your ex. So what? Relationships aren't a race to get the hottest guy. In fact, you don't WANT a guy who's so good looking who has girls fawning all over him. Those guys have ego's the size of mars. They have tons of options and they are more prone to straying and flirting with other people just because they can. Find a guy who has something other than, "he's so good looking." 1
Author purplesoccer34 Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 Ok, we get it. He was good looking. Did he have any other qualities? Dating someone goes away beyond the physical aspect. It's as if you would settle for anything as long as they were hot. Why are you so hung up on a guy who told people you were just "average looking"? The guy who's so in love with you is going to tell everyone that you're beautiful. You may NOT be a complete knock out but that guy will think you're the most beautiful girl on the planet. Maybe you won't get someone who is hotter than your ex. So what? Relationships aren't a race to get the hottest guy. In fact, you don't WANT a guy who's so good looking who has girls fawning all over him. Those guys have ego's the size of mars. They have tons of options and they are more prone to straying and flirting with other people just because they can. Find a guy who has something other than, "he's so good looking." you're absolutely right, haha. thanks
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