If MM's wife always wants to take MM back unconditionally

[Mount]

If MM's wife always wants to take MM back unconditionally, does that mean she is doomed that her husband will continue cheating on her.

 

Enough said, you know why I am asking this.

[Fluttershy]

If MM's wife always wants to take MM back unconditionally, does that mean she is doomed that her husband will continue cheating on her.

 

Enough said, you know why I am asking this.

 

If the wife offers cheap forgiveness or us manipulated into believing his lies (the ones who go on to cheat usually are excellent actors) then yes, it will happen again and again. But if an OW keeps taking him back after he settled the dust you kinda got to wonder what type of person she is.

"hang on while I convince my wife I love her, and only her and then when she feels safe again we can continue doinking... Er I mean professing our love for eah other"

And if he goes on to new and better OW then his first OW is just a notch on his bedpost.

 

*I am talking about the scenereo OP painted. I realize not all MM/ME fit that description.

[goodyblue]

You know, if she accepts him back, and he goes, what right have we to judge any of it? He is choosing her, and not (collective) us, and we have to accept that. Does that make her weak? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on why she did it. Is he snowballing her and she wants to believe? If so, doesn't that make him the jerk?

[whatatangledweb]

The majority of BS have conditions when they give them another chance. If the WS wants to save his marriage then no, he won't cheat again. Some BS gives several chances. There are many different reasons for that.

[Mount]

The reason I am asking is that, no surprisingly, MM and myself here we go again - of course behind BS's back. But seriously I believe in her bottom of heart, no surprise either. Just Life.

 

 

 

The majority of BS have conditions when they give them another chance. If the WS wants to save his marriage then no, he won't cheat again. Some BS gives several chances. There are many different reasons for that.

[MissBee]

If MM's wife always wants to take MM back unconditionally, does that mean she is doomed that her husband will continue cheating on her.

 

Enough said, you know why I am asking this.

 

I'm curious about why you're concerned about whether his wife takes him back until the end of time?

 

You keep taking him back too and he continues never leaving....so it's sort of the same thing.

[Mount]

No I am not curious anymore. What I was saying that the MM seems to be destined to be unfaithful anyway, as it does not matter.

 

I'm curious about why you're concerned about whether his wife takes him back until the end of time?

 

You keep taking him back too and he continues never leaving....so it's sort of the same thing.

[Lillyfree]

No I am not curious anymore. What I was saying that the MM seems to be destined to be unfaithful anyway, as it does not matter.

 

he's unfaithful to you as well.

 

there's no difference between you and his BS

[MissBee]

No I am not curious anymore. What I was saying that the MM seems to be destined to be unfaithful anyway, as it does not matter.

 

What do you mean? You made a thread asking about it. I'm not sure what you're asking.

[Trimmer]

The reason I am asking is that, no surprisingly, MM and myself here we go again - of course behind BS's back. But seriously I believe in her bottom of heart, no surprise either. Just Life.

Does it help you to believe that she tacitly accepts his cheating? Does it make it feel less wrong? Make you feel less guilty: "oh, of course, she has to know about what he's doing..."

[Mount]

In my opening post, I said "does that mean she is doomed that her husband will continue cheating on her"? I did not ask why she did not leave, basically I answered my question myself - as I think she has no choice anyway, just need to accept it.

 

Yes, the man is not faithful to all, but it is just life.

 

What do you mean? You made a thread asking about it. I'm not sure what you're asking.

[Mount]

Why does woman have to feel guilty, what about the MM, he feels nothing wrong to lie to his wife again and again and again, why should I ?

 

Does it help you to believe that she tacitly accepts his cheating? Does it make it feel less wrong? Make you feel less guilty: "oh, of course, she has to know about what he's doing..."

[Trimmer]

Why does woman have to feel guilty, what about the MM, he feels nothing wrong to lie to his wife again and again and again, why should I ?

I'm not saying you have to feel guilty. I'm just noticing that you are worrying about what it means that she takes him back unconditionally, and whether it means that she is doomed and her husband will continue cheating. Since you are trying to understand her and her position, I'm inferring that maybe you are feeling something about her, and maybe it's guilt, or empathy, or who knows what.

 

If you are not feeling guilty ("Why should I?" in your own words...) then why bother spending energy wondering what it means for his wife?

[MissBee]

In my opening post, I said "does that mean she is doomed that her husband will continue cheating on her"? I did not ask why she did not leave, basically I answered my question myself - as I think she has no choice anyway, just need to accept it.

 

Yes, the man is not faithful to all, but it is just life.

 

Huh? You made a thread to answer your own question? I don't get lol.

 

I again ask: WHY are you so curious about this to the point of making your own thread and answering your own question.

[MissBee]

I'm not saying you have to feel guilty. I'm just noticing that you are worrying about what it means that she takes him back unconditionally, and whether it means that she is doomed and her husband will continue cheating. Since you are trying to understand her and her position, I'm inferring that maybe you are feeling something about her, and maybe it's guilt, or empathy, or who knows what.

 

If you are not feeling guilty ("Why should I?" in your own words...) then why bother spending energy wondering what it means for his wife?

 

You phrased it better than I did.

 

THIS is essentially my same question Mount.

 

Why are you concerned about what it means for HER? This is your second thread about a similar question, so I'm curious about why it matters to you. Are you hoping she won't take him back so you can have him?

[Mount]

Guess I just want to hear what I want to hear :cool:such as "Yes, she is doomed", "Yes, she has no choice as her actiona keeps saying so"...

 

Now - does my message above answer your question? Or you still wants to twist around, you are very welcome to abandon this post anyway.

 

Huh? You made a thread to answer your own question? I don't get lol.

 

I again ask: WHY are you so curious about this to the point of making your own thread and answering your own question.

[Mount]

BECAUSE....she is always uncondtional to take her old man back, BUT she might have anger towards me which is not supposed to as she needs to tighten her leash to her man first. Is that clear?

 

I'm not saying you have to feel guilty. I'm just noticing that you are worrying about what it means that she takes him back unconditionally, and whether it means that she is doomed and her husband will continue cheating. Since you are trying to understand her and her position, I'm inferring that maybe you are feeling something about her, and maybe it's guilt, or empathy, or who knows what.

 

If you are not feeling guilty ("Why should I?" in your own words...) then why bother spending energy wondering what it means for his wife?

[Journee]

BECAUSE....she is always uncondtional to take her old man back, BUT she might have anger towards me which is not supposed to as she needs to tighten her leash to her man first. Is that clear?

 

 

I guess she takes him back for some of the same reasons that you do. I never understand why this is so hard for AP's to understand. If an AP loves the MP then you can just about be sure the spouse loves them also to whatever degree.

 

Really though, there is no amount of 'leash tightening' to keep anyone from cheating. If that is what they choose to do. We see the cloak and dagger activities on this very board.

 

If someone is willing to wait in the shadows until the betrayed is pacified enough to begin to feel safe and loved again then what is there to question? The intention is to cheat and lie and lie some more. Get caught...lie, beg, steal ,borrow ,whatever it takes to get into the betrayed good graces to turn around and do it all over again.

 

I imagine that most betrayed men and women love their spouse very much. Most likely are even in love with them. It is very difficult for some to not want to believe the begging and promise making. What a terrible spot to be in. Someone hurting you simply because they can.

[beach]

BECAUSE....she is always uncondtional to take her old man back, BUT she might have anger towards me which is not supposed to as she needs to tighten her leash to her man first. Is that clear?

 

You know she's mad at you - from the history between all of you.

 

You now know she will always take him back. She will also speak for him. She also knows he comes home to her. He acted so wimpy just a few short months ago - and he allowed her to berate you. How could you go back for more of his cruel manipulation?

 

He knows he's worked over both of you... To the point where he gets his cake and extras any time he needs it. It seems his counseling isn't improving his integrity or character.

 

What I wonder about is - why is this enough for you? You deserve better.

[Mount]

"Someone hurting you (BS) simply because they can", exactly, your statment echoes mine. I have so say, my intial post was not really a question, a statment per se.

 

I guess she takes him back for some of the same reasons that you do. I never understand why this is so hard for AP's to understand. If an AP loves the MP then you can just about be sure the spouse loves them also to whatever degree.

 

Really though, there is no amount of 'leash tightening' to keep anyone from cheating. If that is what they choose to do. We see the cloak and dagger activities on this very board.

 

If someone is willing to wait in the shadows until the betrayed is pacified enough to begin to feel safe and loved again then what is there to question? The intention is to cheat and lie and lie some more. Get caught...lie, beg, steal ,borrow ,whatever it takes to get into the betrayed good graces to turn around and do it all over again.

 

I imagine that most betrayed men and women love their spouse very much. Most likely are even in love with them. It is very difficult for some to not want to believe the begging and promise making. What a terrible spot to be in. Someone hurting you simply because they can.

[Mount]

I choose to, I enjoy making BS hearbroken or worried or depressed. That is my answer.

 

Dont mention anymore deserve better, self -esteem...etc, I never believe those craps. Just like in front of all kinds of gourmet food, I only choose to eat MM, others are waiting for me to spend time with them, spend time with them for dining, for new year eve. I refused all.

 

 

You know she's mad at you - from the history between all of you.

 

You now know she will always take him back. She will also speak for him. She also knows he comes home to her. He acted so wimpy just a few short months ago - and he allowed her to berate you. How could you go back for more of his cruel manipulation?

 

He knows he's worked over both of you... To the point where he gets his cake and extras any time he needs it. It seems his counseling isn't improving his integrity or character.

 

What I wonder about is - why is this enough for you? You deserve better.

[beach]

So you are the same as his wife... You both take him back no matter how crappy he treats you.

 

What can we do to support you Mount?

 

It's hard to encourage a smart woman to make poor choices for herself... So I'm at a loss as to how you think this is your wise choice.

 

I thought your eyes were open to him when he further treated you poorly. Is it that easy to overlook that?

[whichwayisup]

If MM's wife always wants to take MM back unconditionally, does that mean she is doomed that her husband will continue cheating on her.

 

Enough said, you know why I am asking this.

 

Don't try to figure it out. Her reasons may never make sense to you and you probably will never ever find out the why's and how's of what goes through her mind. Plus you have no idea what lies or how exMM is with her at home. Also, she may have an OM on the side, never know.

 

Best to just please try hard to let go of him and not focus on the reasons why they are still together. Whether it be love, or an unhealthy dynamic, or for insurance reasons, or comfort level with one another, his actions keep showing you he is not divorcing. Nothing is stopping him if he truly wanted to, just like her.

 

Grieve the loss Mount, give up hope forever and let go of him. It's time.

[dreamingoftigers]

So you are the same as his wife... You both take him back no matter how crappy he treats you.

 

What can we do to support you Mount?

 

It's hard to encourage a smart woman to make poor choices for herself... So I'm at a loss as to how you think this is your wise choice.

 

I thought your eyes were open to him when he further treated you poorly. Is it that easy to overlook that?

 

Maybe the way to support Mount is to encourage her to run headlong in this direction and claim MM as her own.

 

I mean, it surely hasn't been tried yet.

 

Mount, why refuse the rest of the buffet for another woman's leftovers?

 

I honestly ask this in the nicest way possible: isn't it kind of like sharing a tampon with another woman?

[Mount]

Other buffet are so tasteless, make me vomit, seriously.

 

I never tried tampon, other product of course.

 

But again, seriously, MM and myself are back to game again. This time we are clear no expectation from him at all. Crystal Clear, as I don't like the drama at all.

 

Maybe the way to support Mount is to encourage her to run headlong in this direction and claim MM as her own.

 

I mean, it surely hasn't been tried yet.

 

Mount, why refuse the rest of the buffet for another woman's leftovers?

 

I honestly ask this in the nicest way possible: isn't it kind of like sharing a tampon with another woman?