OIOI Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Hello everyone, I'll try to make this as short as possible. We are both 31. She's 3hrs plane ride away from where I am. We usually meet once or twice a month but she has recently returned to her home town for vacation and now she's 5hrs away from where I am. She will soon be returning to her usual spot. We talk everyday. Text each other frequently. Yesterday, she was golfing with her friends and she said she was having a drink afterwards at the club house. She texted me and said she was kinda drunk. Then she told me to call her. When I called her, her friend picked up instead of her (she wasn't testing me). Problem is, I thought the voice was my girlfriend's cos when my girlfriend is drunk, she usually has this high-tone voice and her friend impersonated her really well. She is so sad because I didn't recognize her voice, I totally would have if her friend spoke in a normal voice. We don't get to see each others face often so the phone is all we have and I feel like I've really disappointment her by not knowing her voice. It's probably not just that I didn't recognize her voice but all the sadness from LDR mixing in with this one incident. My question for you guys is not if she is over reacting to this issue. I will be seeing her in around 10 days since we are going on a vacation together. We are seeing each other for the first time in a month and I will see her during her transit (she will fly over to where I am and we will leave together). What can I do to really REALLY make her happy? Thanks. OIOI.
justwhoiam Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 She texted me and said she was kinda drunk. ... when my girlfriend is drunk, she usually has this high-tone voice ... She is so sad because I didn't recognize her voice 1) She was drunk, can't you be upset? Is it just so normal for you? 2) Unfortunately, what you wrote makes me think she gets drunk frequently. And you're fine with it. At 31. 3) And she's sad about you not recognizing her voice? Really? WTH. My question for you guys is not if she is over reacting to this issue. Well, I don't know the details. How long were you on the phone with this friend? Did you get intimate with her? Or was it just a couple of minutes with noise in the background? I will be seeing her in around 10 days ... We are seeing each other for the first time in a month I'm confused. First you said you see her twice a month, and now that you'll see her for the first time in a month. And few lines above you say, you are seeing her in 10 days! Which? What can I do to really REALLY make her happy? Why don't you just laugh at it? Who knows, maybe I'm weird, maybe I'm too oldfashioned, but I think you being fine with her getting drunk is worse than not recognizing her voice while being drunk... Anyway, something similar just happened to me after like 12 years since knowing me... I like singing, and I record songs sung by me through a website. Last year I sang him happy birthday. This year I sent him a digital photobook for his birthday and I found a birthday song online saying his name. I downloaded it and used it as music for the photobook. He really thought it was me. In some way, I was pleased, because the song was professional, and I'm not a professional singer.
Author OIOI Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 Thank you for replying JustWhoIam. 1 and 2) I'm actually quite ok with her being drunk. Where she and I come from, drinking is very normal. Guys and girls both drink a lot. In our culture, and especially for work, drinking is very common after work (maybe 3 times a week) and it is frowned upon if you leave the bar before the oldest member of the group leaves (asian society...). Therefore, we are usually quite use to this unless HE or SHE gets super drunk (e.g. can't walk, can't talk, sleeping-on-the-streets kinda drunk). She wasn't drunk per se, a little tipsy would be correct. 3) Yes. Phone calls are all we have right now. Phone calls = her voice. And I didn't recognize her voice. She may be overreacting but I'm sure this is not the only reason shes sad. Her being lonely, not being able to see me, her voice issue...everything jumbled in to one package i guess. I was on the phone with her for maybe a minute, no intimacy. Her friend ended the convo by saying "damn, you don't even know your girlfriend's voice" (in a playing way) and handed the phone over to my gf. I see her once or twice a month usually. This stretch has been the longest, almost a month has passed since I've seen her and the next time I get to see her is in 10 days from today. I want to laugh about it. But, she, she is so sad right now. IOIO
justwhoiam Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Well, if you took it so seriously, you didn't help her getting out of her sadness... It is not the big deal she's making it seem... First, what time was it? I assume you're more or less in the same time zone, so it was night, you were very tired, and you were on just a minute and the connection was not that good. So very simple. Had you had enough time to talk and no noise, and good connection, you wouldn't have had any problem recognizing her voice. Also, as you said, her voice is a bit altered when she gets tipsy. Easy explanation, easy way out. If you let her make it a big deal, it will BE a big deal and it will be more difficult for you to get out of it. Giggle at your own faux pas, and state how that is not an indication of how much you know her. It has nothing to do with being LD. It could have happened just to anybody.
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 I had this thing happen today where two voices of two men I have been talking to had basal similarity....it happens my daughter gets mistaken for me all the time......I get mistaken for her even by her partner...you cant make her happy...apologize and hope she accepts it.deb
WhoreyBull Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Honestly, over the phone I also have difficulty. Even on skype I feel like my bf's voice sounds different than in person. I wouldn't beat yourself up about that. Even my own father has called me by the name of my two brothers (not due to voice, just asking me to do something). It's just a matter of you expected her to answer, probably had other things on your mind, and spoke thusly. I think if you would explain it like that she will be less sad. I mean, it is not like my father "forgot" my name, he was just reacting without thinking about the situation. I've called a spoon "chop sticks" before, since I am more used to asking for chop sticks. I think certian people are more prone to this sort of mistake.
WhoreyBull Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 I'm confused. First you said you see her twice a month, and now that you'll see her for the first time in a month. And few lines above you say, you are seeing her in 10 days! Which? Um, I don't think meeting someone is mechanic. Things occur in peoples lives that could prevent them from seeing a partner more/less. There is zero reason for it not to be all, three. Twice a month is the approximation, first time in a month and in ten days is the reality.
Viking-Liz Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 It is not the big deal she's making it seem... Agree. Making a big deal out of that is just... I think that is a bit immature, and I`d tell her if I were you.
justwhoiam Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Um, I don't think meeting someone is mechanic. Things occur in peoples lives that could prevent them from seeing a partner more/less. There is zero reason for it not to be all, three. Twice a month is the approximation, first time in a month and in ten days is the reality. First time seemed to mean the first time, not the first time in a month. I thought it meant we meet in a month for the first time. So that's where the misunderstanding was. Now it's all clear.
Recommended Posts