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what if I dont know what I want??


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Posted

so..I've been hanging with this guy over break and he's amazing..really sweet and funny etc..so..he kinda asked me out and we went out and had a great time..but now i'm confused..see i just got out of a lonng 2 year relationship..and university is my top priority cuz i need the marks for grad school..so i know I dont have time for a real relationship and stuff..but..oh..what do I tell him without him thinking i'm am juts blowing him off??? i like him alot..but i'm not emotionally ready to commit..and I dont have the time for an involved relationship?? what do I want?????!?!?!??!?!!?

Posted

Sounds like you already know what you want. Just let him know what your life is like right now. Explain to him that you love being around him and you want him in your life, but that school is a priority and you won't want any confusion between the two of you. Explain that you will be busy and won't be able to invest as much time in a new relationship as someone else might. See if he's interested enough to stick it out with you. If not, you can always keep it casual and see where life leads you.

Posted

A girl I've been talking to just told me the same exact thing. College is very important, and he should understand that. However, make sure you are very genuine in this explanation, because he very may well take it as a "blow off." I know many guys who have, with me being one of them. It's a legitimate excuse that can be disheartening to hear if not explained well.

Posted
Originally posted by Pocky

Sounds like you already know what you want. Just let him know what your life is like right now. Explain to him that you love being around him and you want him in your life, but that school is a priority and you won't want any confusion between the two of you. Explain that you will be busy and won't be able to invest as much time in a new relationship as someone else might. See if he's interested enough to stick it out with you. If not, you can always keep it casual and see where life leads you.

 

Pocky, as a guy who was basically just told the same thing, I want to be there for her as a friend until she is ready to date again - but how should I handle it? What I'm afraid of is that she will just start to see me as more of a friend that someone with romantic interest in her. I certainly don't want to push or rush her into anything, but I don't want her to think I have lost interest. I realize how important school is, and I want to be supportive of that (and everything else) while still making it clear that I have feelings for her.

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