Girfriend of 8 months broke up with me would this be a GIGS break up?

[Solace123]

My girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me a month ago. I'm still very much in love with her and really do want to get back together. And I know that she still has strong feelings for me too (she's said she loves and cares for me deeply), but she also feels like she can't be back together with me right now because she needs to prove to herself that she's capable of being single. I know I can't let myself just sit around and wait for her forever, but I don't want to just give up.

 

After throwing around a lot of ideas she said that she knows she can't get back together right now, but doesn't want to give up on the idea of a relationship in the future. We agreed to not do no contact, but rather to stay on speaking terms with the potential for something to happen.

 

What we didn't set at the time, and haven't really been able to come up with since (the past day) is what speaking terms means. We're not really sure how to balance giving the potential for something to happen a chance with experiencing single life. We also want to try to make sure that someone doesn't get more hurt out of doing this stay in contact thing; with that someone most likely being me (and she knows its most likely me as well) since I'm the one that has stronger feelings right now about being together.

 

 

So basically what I'm looking for are two things:

-What should this staying in contact mean?

 

-Is this staying in contact a good idea for me? Or should I just tell her that I can't do this because I know I feel too strongly about her and this won't let me move on? (Saying we need to be in a relationship right now is not an option, because she won't do that)

Additional Details

I know this is long, but its just a very complicated situation.

 

 

About a month ago my girlfriend of about 8 months broke up with me (We're in college, I'm a junior, she's a sophomore). At the time, she just said that there was some problem with out relationship, but she didn't know what it was and it was causing her to have mixed feelings. Since it wasn't something we could put a finger on there wasn't really anything to do to "fix" it, so she said things had to end.

 

We talked once or twice after in the following week and what came up was that one of the other reasons she broke up with me was because she's always been in relationships and was afraid that she was too dependent on me/she didn't know how to be single, and that scared her. She said she still missed me a ton and still had feelings, but that she felt like getting back together now would just lead to running into the same problem as before, because nothing would have really changed. I've been no contact for about a week now its really hard.

[Lennon]

if you want to heal and stop feeling like this.

No contact. Keeping contact with her has just continually brought me back to square one man. read the no contact thread.

I'm doing it but i'm doing it my way. She can contact me but i'm not getting my hopes up for wanting to get back together. I will just be cordial and treat her like somebody i used to know. She'll contact me again. I know she will. To be honest I don't want her to.

 

I had a similar break up man. She wants to be single, she's young she says she's curious and isn't going to be in a relationship for a long time she tells me. She moved home and it went from her offering to pay for my flight to oz to be with her to completely 180ing on me and blindsiding me. She sorry she hurt me so bad. Your going to get mixed signals staying in contact with her and its going to just keep hurting and confusing you more man.

 

I'm going through it with you man and I'm actually messaging a girl in the states who went through a very similar break up to mine. We're helping eachother through it. She's going on a date this weekend. I hope she has a good time and the guy takes her mind off her ex. The difference in age, long distance and sudden unexplained breakup, its funny how similar our storys are to eachother. No matter how unique you think your situation/story is. Somebody has and is going through it right now.

 

No contact

[ks0985]

my advice, do the No Contact without telling her. Give her a real nice surprise of 60 days of NC with no replying to messages. Let it sink in for her what she gave up on