I don't understand him. Why do people do this?

[valerasoy]

Hello everyone, my name is Kiki (nick name) and I'm new to Love Shack. Please forgive my grammar; I am typing this on my new phone. Which i am still getting used to.

 

I need an outlet to vent out on. I stumbled upon this site while browsing, and figured I'd give it a shot. Plus I'm kind of short of good friends these days.

 

I wasn't sure where to put this thread because of the subject, but here we go.

 

To start, I had my first boyfriend at 19. We were dating for almost a year; I'm 21 now. There were a lot of things wrong with our relationship when I think back. It was pretty strange how it went down. I broke up with him first,but got back together two weeks later. One month afterwards, we broke it off. It was partially neutral because I only agreed because he started acting weird; he was acting really distant for four weeks. He even told me, "I never ever contact my ex." So, I never expected to hear from him again.

 

we broke up, and for two months I did my best to get over him. It was a tough two months because I was experiencing so much change with in my personal life.

 

however, I looked forward to the semester and eventually I found that I was no longer plagued with thoughts about him. I mean once in a while he'd come up, but IT didn't emotional rile me up like he used too.

 

School starts and guess who texts me? Yep, my ex. Fast forwarding to the present, I started feeling for him again. I think I always have. Things got worse when he told me how much he missed me; he gave me a 50 dollar gift card for Christ sakes!

 

Although he did ask if we can be together, I wrote him a long email telling him all these repressed feelings I kept to myself.. I basically said that "we should be friends for now, it's too soon, I still have feelings for you blah, blah" along with other things he has said and done that pissed me off.

 

Now, he treated me for my birthday, this is after that long letter. it went so well! We had a great time, we laughed, we ate and just caught up

a bit. We even kissed and he told me he loved me( I asked him) on our way home. Which resulted in us having sex at his place; I was a tad drunk by the way, ha.

 

I didn't know how to handle that day. I knew in the back of my mind that he wasn't serious? Why? Because female intuition and he didn't contact me once the next day

 

I finally called the following night and asked him about two days ago. He acted like nothing. The hugging, kissing. Him saying I love you. Oh this was his response, " I do love you, but I'm not in love with you."

 

I was so upset and hurt. Although we talked for two hours afterwards, I immediately deleted all his contact info...again

 

I just don't understand! Why do people seem so genuine in person but act so damn cold on the phone? I don't understand Why you'd contact me if you have no intention of fighting for me! Why lead me on and act like nothing? Was it because I was drunk? He though he take advantage of me?

 

I feel used. I also feel like telling him off, but I know that I would break down crying. I get that he doesn't want a relationship but why text me; buy me gifts, do all those couple like things if you don't even want me!

 

What sucks is I was doing so well before school started now I have to go through this crap again. And maybe even worse..

 

I'm sorry for the long post but I have been in this funk for a couple of days now. I know I'll get over him because I have before, but he really hurt me. I miss him dearly; I love him but he's so callous, indifferent. I even told him, I can't be friends with you. Which is what I really wanted in the beginning; but it was too soon. Even now, seeing how he is, I don't think we'll ever be friends. Which hurts me.

. I really just want to move on before Christmas, ha ha.

 

But yeah, input would be nice. If you have any stories of something similar please feel free to share. Stories

Edited December 13, 2013 by valerasoy

[Poppyolive]

Sorry you're hurting dear and he's a bit of an ass!! Hold up, stay strong and enjoy christmas. New Year new chapter for you. My advise would be cut contact, free yourself and your little heart! He wooed you back with gifts and then discarded you....Be the bigger person and don't let him see your hurt, fill your life with all things wonderful and positive. This too shall pass

[valerasoy]

Thank you poppy!

 

He actually text me today asking why did I block him from Facebook. It really hurt me reading tbst, but I just went about my business. I really can't wait for New Years

[thompkevin]

Sorry that guy is a complete jerk. You deserve better than him. I hope you understand that your feelings for him are just there because you were once together. They will go away eventually. I will recommend that if he ever contacts you again, you don't reply.