Thisisme123 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Hi I've signed up just now as the advice I've read for other people is brilliant. I'm 29 and my bf is 21 (doesn't act it) and we were only seeing each other for about 6 months before I fell pregnant. He's really happy bout it I'm shocked and worried. I've fallen hard for this guy and have told him I want to say the 3 words and he has told me that he's not ready to. I'm struggling. How can he be scared of that when we are having a baby?! And how can I have a baby with someone who doesn't love me. We don't live together and it's a long distance thing as he's in army and comes back weekends. We spend lots of time together when he is about and I met his family and friends really early on. He really loved his ex who broke his heart by dumping him Xmas day while he was in afghan and apparently she didn't realise what day it was and he believes her! Before we got together he was crying to me about get and trying to get her back! Writing that I think y the hell did I stick about especially as he cheated twice and sent explicit texts really early on to other girls. I feel like a mug I love him so much how pathetic am I! I would leave but I am pregnant and was told I could never have kids so I'm torn! It hurts he loved her and she was a bitch I'm overly nice and he Won't tell me he loves me. He bumped into her and he told me that wham last Xmas was playing in shop and he said to her to listen to the song and how ironic it was! Ffs!!!!! Then I suspect he spent the night messaging get but that's just me thinking aloud as his what's app showed his log on times that's all.
legshaker Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 If your pregnant and he left than he is a piece of crap and won't try when it cues to your child either because of his selfishness. From what I read I think you are an amazing woman. The fact you still stayed and put up with him shows your a honest and willing to try and work on your relationship no matter the severity of the problem or problems. Your devotion to him will be missed and he will regret it. You on the other hand are a catch and your family values are what's going to make you an amazing mother. Don't sell yourself short, isn't your happiness important as much as his.
Author Thisisme123 Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 He hasn't left me but I'm struggling to have a baby with someone who doesn't love me. I've not said the three words to him I've told him I could say them and got upset abit that he couldn't but blamed hormones. And he said in response I've never said I don't have I! I don't want to play games I'm too old and having a baby I'm over that! Then we were talking and he said that I've been in a weird mood and I said if been feeling emotional but thought I'd kept that from him and he then gave me an example by putting on a silly crying voice pretending to be me and saying you don't love me I can say it (blah blah blah) I have also never said he doesn't so I went quiet and said I was busy and needed to get off the phone he said sorry but too late damage done. Thank you for posting replies I'm so lost and being pregnant is not helping.
Oui oui Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 I am so sorry. He just sounds incredibly immature. If you want this child I don't blame you being as you didn't think you would get the chance. I wouldn't be too surprised if you end up doing this all on your own though. If that does happen being a single Mom isn't the worst thing. You deserve to find someone that will love you back. Hugs to you! 1
Oui oui Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Also, if you have anyone else you can lean to for support I would definitely do that.
emva07 Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 is the question whether you should have the baby or not? or is it whether you should leave him or not? or, how to get him to love you? Having a child with a man doesn't mean he will love you, a lot of women foolishly think that this will make a man love her and they will live happily ever after but they end up being single mothers or tied to a man that doesn't give them the affection they want and deserve. However, that does not mean he won't be a good father to this child. If you want to have the baby, by all means do so, but know that this is what you have to focus on now...not chasing around a guy who does not love you. If he doesn't love you, that is not your fault, a person loves who they love, it doesn't matter how much of a "bitch" she was.
Dallers Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Same thing happened to my best mate. She is an amazing woman and mother and I try and support her as her best friend as much as I can without pretending to be the boys father. I do not think that I will ever have children and no god damn excuse will ever change the fact that is a pathetic wimp and his age has nothing to do with it. You choose to have sex with or without protection you are facing the possibility of having a child. If you do not love the person you are with enough to stay should more than just sex happen then you should not be having sex. Hopefully he changes his mind. If not you have an amazing creation on the way none the less, and a real man will take his place.
stillafool Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Emva07 is right. Plus be glad that he is not a liar and telling you he loves you when he does not just because he thinks that's what you want to hear. So many people say ILY and don't mean it. Love is an action not just words. Hopefully, he will be there for his baby though 21 is awfully young to become a father. You just have to take care of you and that baby at this point. I wouldn't depend on too much help from him.
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