Outside thoughts needed.

[Uproar]

Hi, this is my first post, never, ever thought i'd be doing something like this ever. The idea of needing more than personal friends as an opinion, because when those opinions are biased among the two people they all like. How are you sure you're even getting a real opinion?

 

 

Anyway, break it down, in the shortest form possible.

 

Work with this girl, over 5 months ago now we started 'seeing each other' in her eyes. We spent day upon day together etc.

 

A month down the line, she said she can't do it anymore. I want to spend too much time with her, and she does not want to do the same with me, also her mother does not feel we had chemistry.

 

She wanted time apart and just be friends, i could handle that somewhat.

 

Everyday since then, these past 4 months have been a living hell. I would of loved to have said they were a bliss, but i have felt every emotion possible, except happiness. The best way to describe how things have been is Katy Perry - Hot 'n Cold. everyday shes up and down.

 

I either don't say enough, say too much, i speak to the wrong people, i speak to certain people too long, or i am too protective, caring, loving.

She always wants to spend time with me, just me. If i want to spend time with her tho...it has to be in groups.

 

She'll happily hug any other man around, link arms, small things, be it all friendly gestures. I have to ask for a damned hug 10 times over being rejected each time before she will, even then there is no effort, her reason is; hugging her has more feeling to it than just friends. makes her feel awkward.

 

Yet, happily sleep in my bed with me, fall asleep in each others arms watching movies, or just laying there talking about all sorts.

We stopped having sex near the end of seeing each other since then neither of us have gone out and found it elsewhere, infact we spend all our days together...the one reason she wanted to call it all off.

 

 

She sees us as friends, but see where we go. to see if we can have more.

I hate to think i've confused this thread at all, i'm just throwing everything out as i think of it. It's been a hard fought 5 months.

 

I see us going in reverse, we had it all, to friends, and now she has finally said. She will never want anything with me, her reason is because i come across too dramatic and serious in life. I am too money motivated and intouch with my feelings far too much...except still happily puts her face all over my phone, continues to spend all day talking together, meeting up and spending time together till 2am in the morning, talking about things neither of us would ever tell anyone else. She continues to treat me as if we are still seeing each other, no matter how many times she has told me to go away, get out her life, leave her alone, that we shall never be anything, she does not want anything, she does not want no one....we continue to treat one another as just more than friends. Until she gets bored of it and turns.

 

 

When i say turns, first its alcohol. Then i get treated like ****, spoken to like ****, i'm stupid, i have no common sense, nothing i say will ever be right unless she agrees, gets out my car, walks home, and then calls me telling me i'm 'this' and i'm 'that' and if i loved her even an ounce, i would not of stopped the car to let her walk...this is her opening the door as we drive to force me to stop...

 

she is a lunatic, and no matter how she treats me i love her....friends tell me i'm a convenience to her because she can get around where she wants to, chauffeur driven, and i'm using her due to low self esteem. I've never known what it is to love someone before, it's not something i've ever thought about in recent years as i'm a workaholic. but after everything, i'd still continue to move mountains for her.

 

She does not want anything with anyone, only wants to be single, she got out a 10 month relationship over 8 months ago, the relationship she was cheated on, she knew he was cheating on her yet continued to stay with him which i never understood at all. she is enjoying being single so much she is not and will not give it up for anyone. Yet continues to tell me she wants to see where we go. Then tells me we will never be together, stuck at friends....then continues to treat me like we are something, rather than just friends, it's a continual mind****.

 

 

The biggest issue right now is she continually feels i'm ignoring her in the day and i don't want to talk to her which she then makes in to an argument, & i'm trying to have sex with her best friend.

She seems to make up a story and believe it so much she feels it's true. This is down to the amount of times she'll tell a story and each time alters it until the perfect one sticks, than continues to tell that same one to everyone.

 

I'm not sure if shes mentally ill, or if she is playing me around, or if she comes across scared to move on to someone else.

 

I don't honestly know anymore, because i love her so, i cannot leave it at just friends, it's to a point i'd rather be dead to her than anything else, i'm confused, my mind is withered from the constant stress and drama....if anyone is even able to make sense of anything i just said, any opinions are welcome...

 

I've tried to ignore her, block her out of my life because it got too much. She went round ringing up all our friends we work with to find out if any of them have spoken to me, if they have she will constantly ring and text wondering why i have not spoke to her. She will then continue to say i must of found someone better than her, or do i just not want her in my life...then go on to say i tell her i love her yet don't want her around anymore.

 

Shes 18 & i'm 21. Both been raised differently in different societies, i've rubbed shoulders with rich and famous, while she has lived in...well it's not exactly the rits where we both reside right now.

 

I've grown up around businessmen and women, with that i am very serious, goals, good intentions, a career in mind, but very loving, caring, and just want to give her everything, but hey i'm not saying i'm not perfect, i've said somethings i regret, i'm an A**hole at times, i'm over protective to the point it is suffocating because i feel threatened by other men talking to her, my past relationships have all been bad, but i like to think i've moved on, we all have them. Mine do hit home at times tho.

 

Shes fun, she brings me out of my shell and lets me feel comfortable letting my hair down, shes outspoken, head strong, determined, but no goals or career steps in life.

 

We are magnets, both strung up by a bit of string spinning, we come together, we clash, then push away, to then come back around and pull in to each other again...rinse repeat.

 

 

Well if no one is able to even give an opinion or even thoughts on how they perceive whatever 'this' is, i hope it was a great read.