TellTaleHeart Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Today marks one week NC from someone who I dated for 6 months, pretty quickly fell into crazy stupid love with him. We talked every day all day. He was sweet and attentive and understanding and absolutely everything I wanted. About 5 months in, he told me he was dating someone else, but he broke things off with her because she asked him to be exclusive and he told her he couldn't because of his feelings for me, so for 5 months of us being together, he was with her too...ummm...okay. I asked him if he could be exclusive with me, he said no because he is not healed from his divorce and feels 'dead inside' so after a painful week of us basically breaking up with each other and consoling each other, I told him I couldn't do it anymore, it was killing me, and I needed to be out of his life. He wanted things to stay the same, but I couldn't be with him knowing he wanted to date other people. I blocked him everywhere, took his number out of my phone, and haven't contacted him. Now here I am. Very sad and hoping he is missing me too. I know no contact is best. It just really hurts. I've been reading here for a while and could use words of encouragement. Feel free to lie and tell me he's miserable too.
Fangorn Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Truth is, you'll never know how he feels, if you ask him about it he'll most likely lie and say he's doing good. If you look him up on social media it'll only be the best of him so it'll also be a lie. Ask yourself "Why does it matter?" It doesn't. If you're feeling sad about losing him, write a list of all of his negatives, this has helped me. I'm almost 4 weeks into NC after a bad breakup and though I still miss the girl deeply, it's got to a point where in every memory I have of her, she has devil horns and a forked tail. Life goes on, you just have to make the decision to live for yourself and by doing that, you will regain more power over yourself than you could ever imagine.
deponie12 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I'm 5 weeks NC and it gets easier with every passing day. You will have bad days here and there- I like what Fangorn said, write a list-- that helps. I had a pros and cons list-- the cons outweighed the pros.... it's a great list to reference when you are feeling weak. Hang in there!!
Author TellTaleHeart Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Thank you both for responding. I honestly have tried the list and so far it has one item, "won't be exclusive". That's really all that matters I guess. If I thought I could do the date more than one person at a time thing and be okay with it, I would give it a shot. I know I would be kind of a mess though, and I can't do that to myself. I just feel guilty for NOT being able to do it, and I miss him, and it's just one of those days.
mestisa89 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I am not going to sit here and lie to you and say he is probably miserable without you too. But you have to look at it this way. NC will only help you in the long run. Why? Because not contacting him will force him to think about the choices he made that lead to the end your relationship. This doesn't necessarily mean he will come crawling back to you, because he regrets letting you go. But he WILL miss you. NC also helps you heal because it gives you time to focus on yourself. Do things you love, hang out with friends, pamper yourself. Keep yourself busy and it will be easier to move on. He's going to notice how happy you are and that you are finally moving on (because you are capable) and he is going to regret it BIG time.
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Maturity has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing'
Author TellTaleHeart Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Thank you so much. I was kind of joking about that lie to me thing. I'm kind of a smart ass That's what I'm doing. Just having a day where I am questioning every single choice I have ever made. In my life. Or at least the last few months or so. Thanks for responding.
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