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Worst Birthday Ever. Until..

Scoot Scoot

By Scoot Scoot
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Scoot Scoot Member

Scoot Scoot

Posted
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yesterday was my birthday. didn't do anything and felt depressed. it sucks to think that just 365 days ago, my woman was making it a day to remember and here i am now, alone and miserable. i spent all day thinking she would at least wish me happy birthday but it didn't happen. so i turned off my phone around 11 last night.

 

turned it on today and what do you know, she texted me happy b-day. how or should i respond? i want her back, but i don't want to seem like i'm too available or desperate looking.

fixing Established Member

fixing

Posted
Posted

Dont respond. It means nothing. If she wants you back you not replying wont affect that.

Its a breadcrumb though nothing more.

 

Leave her thinking 'Hmmmm, did he get my text? Maybe ill call him to see'

 

Dont respond and happy birthday btw

  • Like 6
barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted

A cordial happy birthday or Xmas message it just that, cordial.

 

I've gotten into it with a few people on here about this.

 

You have two choices

 

A simple " thank you"

 

Or

 

Ignore.

 

But if you reply she won't say I want you back.

 

So don't give yourself false hope.

 

All you're doing is acknowledging a text.

 

That's it.

 

But be prepared to not even get a reply from your reply.

 

Or ignore and go on your merry way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

  • Like 2
barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted
Dont respond. It means nothing. If she wants you back you not replying wont affect that.

Its a breadcrumb though nothing more.

 

Leave her thinking 'Hmmmm, did he get my text? Maybe ill call him to see'

 

Dont respond and happy birthday btw

 

Me personally IMHO, there's a lot wrong with all of this.

 

I wouldn't say a bday text is a breadcrumb.

 

Hey how are you I miss you - is.

 

And leaving her " thinking" is a game because now op will be sitting around waiting for her to call...no bueno.

 

Do as you like op, just don't take a step back.

 

 

 

Barky

  • Like 1
Debanked Established Member

Debanked

Posted
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I'd text back "thanks!" and leave it at that.

fixing Established Member

fixing

Posted
Posted

Ok, but in OP's earlier threads he has said he made ALL the mistakes of begging, pleading, letters etc trying to win her back and she ended up blocking him.

 

OP still clearly loves her and wants her back... I simply meant that because of his previous behaviour she will be expecting a reply. When she doesnt get that reply she will be assuming he either didnt get it, he has changed or he has lost interest.

 

Those are good impressions he will leave on her imho. He will be still maintaining his no contact too.

 

ps, yeah it is a little game playing but after the embarrassment he caused himself by all the earlier pleading it doesnt hurt to get some power back.

  • Like 2
TylerDurdenn Established Member

TylerDurdenn

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"Thanks but who's this?"

  • Like 5
ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

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I love the old "I dumped you and don't want to be with you but happy freaking birthday anyway!" Ignore.

  • Like 4
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

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FIXING has it right.

 

You're NOT OVER HER yet (your words) so anything you reply will only be wishful thinking on your part. (see the post here: LINK)

 

If you were over her, then BARKY's suggestion would be fine.

  • Like 1
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Scoot Scoot Member

Scoot Scoot

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  • Author
Posted

I feel that if I ignore her she'll get pissed. maybe I should say just "thanks."

Zoe Lilith Established Member

Zoe Lilith

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I feel that if I ignore her she'll get pissed. maybe I should say just "thanks."

So what if she does?! You are no longer together, what she thinks or feels is none of your business.

  • Like 2
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
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Well said, well said....!!!

 

 

Too late, you are desperate to get her back and way too available.

 

Why aren't you celebrating your birthday with friends? If you don't have any, go and make some. Fill your life with other pursuits, instead of moping.

 

If she took you back now, you'd crush the life out of her because you're desperate and needy. Fix that, and your dating life will improve.

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

Posted
Posted
Too late, you are desperate to get her back and way too available.

 

Why aren't you celebrating your birthday with friends? If you don't have any, go and make some. Fill your life with other pursuits, instead of moping.

 

If she took you back now, you'd crush the life out of her because you're desperate and needy. Fix that, and your dating life will improve.

 

OP, even if you don't want to SEEM desperate and needy, she'd be able to pick up on that as soon as she saw you.

 

This is becoming a catch phrase for me: Dumpers can SMELL desperation and neediness from a mile away.

 

Even if they're interested in potentially reconciling (usually they're not), this kinda stuff will turn them off and drive them away. And then you'll just end up beating yourself up over why you did the wrong thing AGAIN.

 

The only way to have a new relationship with anyone, even your ex, is to live your life as if they're never coming back. Go out, have fun, hang out with friends, do your own thing, etc etc etc.

  • Like 1
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Scoot Scoot Member

Scoot Scoot

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You need to stop worrying about her feelings about you post break-up. The only feeling that matters, is that she decided you're not the guy for her.

 

A guy who is desperate to get back with a woman who rejected him, is not desirable to her. A man who doesn't care, is.

 

You're right. The day we broke up I said "I don't even care anymore, just leave." She got heated and began to cry, she said "you don't care!?! Fine after today you'll never hear from me again!!"

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
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I feel that if I ignore her she'll get pissed. maybe I should say just "thanks."

 

This is such an unattractive, weak attitude. I'm sure it's been addressed but damn dude.

  • Like 2
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Scoot Scoot Member

Scoot Scoot

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  • Author
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Seriously, you want to get back in this? Look, she's made no effort over the entire time that you've been broken up, to get back with you. Doesn't that tell you something?

 

the whole time we've broken up she did in fact want to work it out. one month after the BU, we dated a couple of days, even got intimate, then took another month break. after that we had a little get away, but i got mad at her and ended it on my terms.

 

after that i wanted to get back, begged, pleaded and you know the rest of the story.

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