mendsley Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I've been doing really well the last few weeks. She is always on my mind, but my outlook has changed. I am out of the depression phase and now able to function during the day. Last night I had a very vivid dream about when she broke the bad news to me. It was so real and I felt like I relived that experience all over again. My workout this morning was effected by it and I feel a little down. We have these days like this and I can expect them going forward. But when they're here they suck. There are a few things I still think about and I'm working on trying to resolve them; 1. I have a little hope she'll contact me. Everytime the phone rings I have a little hope it's her. When a friend calls I hope it's him telling me she wants to talk. I don't like that I do this, but i'm working through it. 2. I often wonder if she thinks about me? I wonder if she f eels she made a mistake leaving me? I wonder if she has any pain for our break up? 3. I also think about if she has found someone. If so, is he a better man than me? Do they have sex like we did? I understand she will meet someone else and they will have sex. But, it's still hard for me to picture her with another man. I totally understand these thoughts are very destructive. I can honestly say the pain is subsiding and these thoughts are not as frequent, so progress is being made. It's just hard today because of those dreams and needed to get this stuff out of my head. Does anyone else feel getting into another relationship would be exciting, but so much work it's almost not worth trying? I am at the point in my life where I want to find someone to marry. I want to be with someone for the rest of my life. But, the way relationships these days nost people don't want to put in the hard work and throw in the towel when road gets a little bumpy...it's sad. Thanks for reading...peace!
FortunateSon Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I have been and still am going through all of the thoughts you listed. It is hard as you well know, but it sounds like you have made some good progress. Set backs are bound to happen, after having one it is important to not to dwell on it, get back immediately to what has been helping you heal. I would advise against getting into a relationship if you are not ready. I came close to doing the samething, if your heart is not healed you will not be happy in it and you will likely hurt the other person as well. I have found that casually dating but not getting serious with someone right away has been more beneficial for me moving forward. When the time is right, the relationship you desire will most likely come a lot more naturally than it would now. The last thing I would say is stay no contact. I found out the hard way what happens when it is broken, even when she was the one who contacted me. NOTHING good comes from it, it will only set you back. Stay strong and heal yourself!
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