misty514 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Hello All, Need some help. I cannot understand why my man is lying to me about this. He goes to this bar, I also go to the sa!e bar w him occasionaly. I know all the people there since I grew up around here as a kid. Now, heres the problem. I am friendly w all the bartenders there, nice girls, but I happen to look at his phone the other day while he was looking for a contact in his phone and I notice he has this one bartenders number in his phondidn't say I noticed it but when I asked him about having the number he said , no I dont have it & if I needed it I would just ask you. I actually have her number because some of the ladies are planning to go out to dinner next week and she is one of the girls going. Just not sure why he would lie about this. This girl & I get along. I am not opposed to him having female friends, I have many guys friends, most I have known for over 30 years though. Any advice would really help. Thank you
mammasita Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 If you're friends with her, why don't you ask her what's up? 1
Author misty514 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Hello, Not sure how I would bring it up, not sure what to say. She knows about our relationship and likes both of us. She has a boyfriend, but don't know how to go about the conversation
PegNosePete Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Maybe he forgot he had it. There are many many explanations and we can't possibly say from the limited information you have given. We are not mind-readers. I could give you 10 possible reasons but it would not mean that any of them are true.
Author misty514 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Well, he didn't have the number over the weekend, her number is a new entry, as in the last couple of days. I know this because he doesn't keep his phone hidden or anything. Just curious why he wouldn't just tell me he had it. He doesn't really have any friends of the opposite sex from childhood like I do, he told me his work partner has here number too. I don't mind the friendship since I know the girl & she knows we are together, just don't know why he is not being forthcoming about it
PegNosePete Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Well how do you expect any of us to know? We are not mind readers. Why don't you ask him? He is your fiance after all.
Author misty514 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Hello, Not asking for anyone to be a mind reader just asking how to approach the issue, just don't get why not just be honest about it. That's all
cozycottagelg Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Is it possible she put her number in there while he was at the bar and he was in the bathroom?
Eggplant Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 He lied. Something is wrong. I don't know what. Keep your eyes open.
beach Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 He lied. Something is wrong. I don't know what. Keep your eyes open. At least be aware he will lie to you. Is that the kind of man you want to marry?
amaysngrace Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 You're being really passive about this. Maybe that's why he thinks it's ok to lie to you? What do you need help with exactly? Calling him out on a lie? Stop being a doormat and come right out and ask him. Although I have a feeling that no matter what explanation he gives you, you'll just go along with it as though it's sacred scripture...
Author misty514 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Well, if I do say something to him he will probably say why did u go through my stuff, and if I do not say anything I might be able to say something non threatening to her at lunch next week, the later way at least I won't be accused of snooping, and then I can precede with confronting him with the fact that I was told. If she says she never gave it to him then I will just leave the house say nothing and be gone. Then he can wonder why I left, I'll be sure to leave a note....maybe. Just don't want a fight , so high school.
Elliotte Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 If you are 100% positive that he is lying you need to call him on it. Do not let up until he fesses up and explains himself. I know that's a hard, confrontational thing to do, and you may have to play the broken record if he keeps trying to weasel his way out of it, but you cannot allow this to slide if you are sure he is lying to you. This isn't a court of law where the burden of evidence is on the prosecution, if you know exactly what you saw, do not let him snake his way around it.
Solcita2 Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Are you sure it's her number and not other girl's number? (with the same name) If he doesn't keep his phone hidden you can grab it in front of him and look for any other number and bump into it and said HEY YOU DID HAVE IT... WHY DID YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T? Not in a accusing way... Keep us posted
Author misty514 Posted December 13, 2013 Author Posted December 13, 2013 Hello, Yes I'm sure its her number, I have it also so I recognize it. Ya he doesn't keep the phone hidden, think I'm gonna let me phone go dead and ask to use his, when I see it just gonna say just what you said. Hate to be so childish, but will not allow him to carry on like a fool.
beach Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Hello, Yes I'm sure its her number, I have it also so I recognize it. Ya he doesn't keep the phone hidden, think I'm gonna let me phone go dead and ask to use his, when I see it just gonna say just what you said. Hate to be so childish, but will not allow him to carry on like a fool. You can't control another person. You know that. And your gut says he's lying to you. So why not end it since he's not a trustworthy guy?
crederer Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 If he was at the bar, it's possible he got her number but forgot. I've had a few experiences when looking through a phone and seeing a name and number that I forgot getting.
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