xylem123 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I have been dating this guy for seven months before we broke up. The first time I met him, I knew I was attracted to him. Months passes til I met him again and from then on we had a wonderful time together. This guy went through a terrible breakup before we got together. A girl he was with for nearly two years broke up with him without ever telling him he loved him. He became sad and suicidal for most part of a year before he was okay again. Now we broke uo because he says he doesn't feel like I was The One. He says, with his ex of nearly 2 years, he felt like he could spend the rest of his life with her, but with me he hasn't felt that certainty yet. Because of our differences, there's a big chance we won't end up forever, and so it is better to end it now while we haven't gone out for too long. I sometimes feel he is just afraid of being sad again, or that he is wrong to expect to feel exactly the same way as he did with his ex. He talked to me again the other night to tell me he likes me very, very much but he hasn't been suicidal after we broke up. The funny thing is he has been "helping" me get over him by telling me how he got over his sadness before. I think he genuinely wants to become friends someday, and I do too. Do you think there is a chance of that happening? Do you think if I initiate no contact, he'll eventually realize he's being cowardly and want to get back? How do I deal with this? Help! Thank you so much.
Author xylem123 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 You need to listen to what he says. He thinks you're not the One - that's not someone you want to be with. You also don't want to be with someone who you yourself, described as "cowardly". And you definitely don't want to be with someone whom you have to play games with, like going NC to "get him to realise". Because as he already said, you aren't the One. Red flags abound... Thank you for your response. The thing is he is a very conflicted person, he overthinks things way too much (being a mathematician) and I really feel like he never really gave our relationship a chance because of his past experience. In a way, I feel like he's saving himself from the possibility of pain by not allowing someone ne to enter his life.
Author xylem123 Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Do I go NC? The reason he was so messed up in the first place is because of his ex cutting him off like he as worthless, doing so very easily and without regard after 2 years of relationship. I genuinely care about him, and I know he does care about me too. Ours was never a bad breakup and he has been helping me/being very understanding when I send long messages of sadness. I feel like I mean a lot to him too so I'm very confused whether to cut him off completely too or just wait til my feelings go away, because they will.
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