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OLD: When they don't ask you questions in return


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Posted

I send messages to women and many times they don't carry on the conversation by asking me questions. They just answer them. Am I just wasting my time? Should I bother responding again?

Posted

I wouldn't bother with someone like that. It reveals either poor conversational/get-to-know you skills, or lukewarm interest.

Posted

I've seen men do it too. I usually quit writing them. I expect people to show interest or put a little effort into the conversation instead of expecting me to do all the work.

Posted

what is a good idea is to make open ended questions, and statements that will get their attention.

Posted
I send messages to women and many times they don't carry on the conversation by asking me questions. They just answer them. Am I just wasting my time? Should I bother responding again?

 

Personally, I would not recommend doing a lot of back and forth via OLD. On the other end of the spectrum, you can spend weeks developing a phoneship, meet in person and there is no chemistry.

 

The best thing to do is use OLD to set up a definite time and place to meet. After that, no more writing back and forth unless plans have to change.

Posted

Assume they're interested. If they stop responding and the time it takes for them to respond is what you use as a interest gauge.

Posted
I send messages to women and many times they don't carry on the conversation by asking me questions. They just answer them. Am I just wasting my time? Should I bother responding again?

Retrospectively, when looking at dating patterns prior to relationships, both ersatz and apparently real, those were the ladies who let me love them. The few who showed genuine care and interest turned out to be the healthiest examples over time, one because they demonstrated capacity to show care and interest and, two, they directed those aspects at myself in a sincere fashion.

 

So, nowadays, once I identify the pattern/personality type, whether that be in general or as a potential romantic partner, I move on without comment. Big world, lots of people.

Posted

Usually, if they don't show an interest in wanting to keep the conversation going, I stop writing. I'm not going to beg a correspondence.

 

I tend to keep online conversations short on OLD anyway. 4 - maybe five short emails, then ask for a face to face. I'm on there to date, not to get pen pals.

Posted
I send messages to women and many times they don't carry on the conversation by asking me questions. They just answer them. Am I just wasting my time? Should I bother responding again?

 

A couple of questions on your part, answers, but no questions in return? She's not really interested or is bombarded with so many guys that she's become indifferent. The other things is that your questions are probably pretty routine, so there's only lukewarm interest.

 

After about 2-3 of such exchanges, I would move on. Perhaps they'll come back wondering why you stopped and start asking YOU questions of substance.

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