travelonic Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 (edited) Say a guy [guy A] is dating a girl, the guy A and girl are very, very close intellectually, emotionally have a very strong connection, and physically find each other physically attractive enough. Say over time the girl meets a Guy B, finds him **sexually** attractive. If almost everything is all right with the relationship, and the issues that DO exist are at most minor communication issues and a case of the inevitable predictability of a LTR that requires effort on both parts to resolve / keep things fresh - is it a good idea to leave the "Guy A" for Guy B, the girl knowing not too much about him, and guy B having a different personality than Guy A [and one that, once the new-ness and the honeymoon stage wears off could possibly cause a lot of tension and frustration]? And how does somebody in that position justify such a move? I know somebody who was in the position of "guy A" and am curious. Edited December 12, 2013 by travelonic
daisydook Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I have always believed that if there are two men in your life, go with the second one. He (Guy B) wouldn't be there, if the first guy (Guy A) was doing it for her. Not all Guy B's are worth leaving for, but from my experience, the grass has been greener and I have only chosen to leave Guy A (for lack of better terms) when it was actually worth it. Either way, when you are thinking about someone else, your relationship isn't all that strong.
2fargone Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Something new and fresh always seems more exciting than something familiar. So it's always more tempting to go with B instead of working things out with A. Justifying such a move is exactly what it would be. Because the girl has the option to want to work things out or accept things as they are depending on specifics, yet the draw of the new and exciting is there.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 You don't need a "good" reason to break up with someone. It's not like you need to get approval from a judge or a physician. I really don't get the point of this thread -- people break up for all sorts of reasons.
Author travelonic Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Let me rephrase that part of the question, instead of good reason/bad reason, does it MAKE SENSE to go from guy A to guy B if the only thing you have with guy B is sexual attraction, and nothing else, and have all the other things that make a relationship able to survive with person A?
Never Again Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 It's not a good or a mature reason. But that doesn't matter. You don't need a good or a mature reason to breakup. Dating is "at will", so you can quit/be-fired in a moment's notice. There will always be "another guy". Always. There will always be something newer, fresher, more exciting and more attractive. We want what we can't have, and what we do have...we don't want as much anymore.
Never Again Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I have always believed that if there are two men in your life, go with the second one. While I believe you don't need a good reason to breakup, this "rule" isn't exactly healthy or sound. The better choice is: choose neither. If you're willing to branch swing, you're not ready for a real relationship. Better to be alone for awhile, figure yourself out and what you want, THEN try for something new. Anyone willing to swing from A to B is just as likely to swing from B to C at a moments notice.
Am4Real Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Can you just tell us what is really going on with you so we don't have to sort through all this hypothetical cr@p! 3
lizbon13 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 I think youll find out that your really not that into guy a if guy b was an option. It makes sense that you go with guy b because it sounds like you really want to. I know it not that simple, but if you were ready to commit to guy a then going with guy b would be bad but if you havent committed to either it boils down to what you want.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Let me rephrase that part of the question, instead of good reason/bad reason, does it MAKE SENSE to go from guy A to guy B if the only thing you have with guy B is sexual attraction, and nothing else, and have all the other things that make a relationship able to survive with person A? Once again, completely irrelevant. Feelings aren't logical, so judging a break up by using logic is a waste of time. And I agree with Am4Real, this just seems to be a passive aggressive hypothetical to try to get some sort of response on your situation, whatever that might be. 1
Recommended Posts