lifeunderground Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Around a year and a half ago I met this guy thru mutual friends. He came on very strong and I fell hard. Then I got the full story and he was basically in an on and off situation with the mother of his child. I should've walked away then but I kept talking to him. Then he disappeared on me. Our whole ordeal only lasted a little over a month but I was very torn up by it. Anyways, fastforwarding to now. In mid October he messaged me (we had chatted briefly before this) and he started coming on very strong again,but I resisted. This led to us chatting everyday pretty much all day for a month. He was very hot and cold and he was honest about his issues with his baby's mother still. I finally got sick of all the texting and told him I wanted to hangout. He told me "not to wait for him" and "youre an amazing girl" i told him "i dont wait for nobody anymore" and he said "good girl". Eventually he just stopped texting so i sent him a slighly pissed off text. I got no response. He continued to like my statuses and posts and yesterday he liked 5 in a row. My friend whose friends with him told me that him and his babys mom dont talk anymore. Anyways he messaged me last night after almost a month of not speaking. I messaged him back and he hasnt been on yet, or seen it. Im sure he wants to talk again, and should know better than to just make me a text buddy. Do you think its wise to even start talking to him again? i dont know why i like this guy but i somewhat do. Would love advice
Zahara Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Investing and chasing an emotionally unavailable man that you only invested a month in? Time to move on. He can't give you what you want. He's made it very clear. 1
Author lifeunderground Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) Investing and chasing an emotionally unavailable man that you only invested a month in? Time to move on. He can't give you what you want. He's made it very clear. Lol obviously you have not even read my story I have not chased him...it's been on and off a year and a half of conversation Yes true in person was a month and I DID invest. I haven't since. I never contact him first so I dont believe im chasing Edited December 11, 2013 by lifeunderground
Zahara Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 You asked him to hangout and he gave you nuts for an answer. He told you don't wait for him. Big SIGN right there. Then you said you don't wait for anyone and he stopped texting. Then you sent him a pissed off text, and I am not sure why. He didn't even respond to that. The moment he told you he was on and off with someone else, you should have checked out. Even you establish that but didn't do so. You may not be contacting him but you seem to have made yourself available to a man that's been hot, cold and unavailable and even after all that, you're still asking if you should resume contact. You may not be literally chasing after him but you're certainly seeking some sort of something from him by leaving yourself open to him and his contact.
Author lifeunderground Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 You asked him to hangout and he gave you nuts for an answer. He told you don't wait for him. Big SIGN right there. Then you said you don't wait for anyone and he stopped texting. Then you sent him a pissed off text, and I am not sure why. He didn't even respond to that. The moment he told you he was on and off with someone else, you should have checked out. Even you establish that but didn't do so. You may not be contacting him but you seem to have made yourself available to a man that's been hot, cold and unavailable and even after all that, you're still asking if you should resume contact. You may not be literally chasing after him but you're certainly seeking some sort of something from him by leaving yourself open to him and his contact. we literally talked all day and I didn't think it was unreasonable to want to hangout. After talking for a while and having past history I think I was right to be a little mad? anyways you're right tho that I shouldn't give him the time of day. If he's not interested in hanging out with me ASAP I'm done talking to him I refuse to be a text buddy. The fact that I haven't seen him in so long is why I'm not invested We opened up a lot to eachother and it's stupid to do so over text. I'm wondering though if I should even see him probably is a bad idea
Zahara Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It wasn't unreasonable to want to hang out. At some point it is normal to want to meet someone that you've been communicating with. This passive behavior is not something you want to deal with. I've dated a guy like this. Hot cold. Come go. Dissappear appear. Someone that wants to pursue you will make the effort to be consistent with their communication. They will be making the effort to make plans with you. They will be looking forward to meeting you and progressing with you. He knows you are interested. You opened yourself up to meeting him and he shot you down. What did he message you last night? Was he wanting to meet you?
Author lifeunderground Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 It wasn't unreasonable to want to hang out. At some point it is normal to want to meet someone that you've been communicating with. This passive behavior is not something you want to deal with. I've dated a guy like this. Hot cold. Come go. Dissappear appear. Someone that wants to pursue you will make the effort to be consistent with their communication. They will be making the effort to make plans with you. They will be looking forward to meeting you and progressing with you. He knows you are interested. You opened yourself up to meeting him and he shot you down. What did he message you last night? Was he wanting to meet you? Yeah I get what you're saying. .yeah he wants to hangout tomorrow but I'm working late so idk if I can. He was with her for a long time so it's gonna take time for him to get over her (if they don't get back together ) I'm just gonna carry on with my life and if things work out they do, if not it's not the end of the world It took me a long time to get over my ex so I understand but I'm free of baggage now and ideally would like someone free of baggage too
Delilah1623 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 You have two options: A) Listen to Zahara, who is dead on. B) Delude yourself into thinking this guy will pull a 180, become an amazing boyfriend and will live happily ever after. Just realize if you pick option B you will suffer the same BS for months, possibly years, before he breaks your heart even more. He has shown you and told you who he is. Believe him.
Author lifeunderground Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 You have two options: A) Listen to Zahara, who is dead on. B) Delude yourself into thinking this guy will pull a 180, become an amazing boyfriend and will live happily ever after. Just realize if you pick option B you will suffer the same BS for months, possibly years, before he breaks your heart even more. He has shown you and told you who he is. Believe him. Trust me I'm not deluding myself. I don't think were gonna be happily ever after. Time will tell but I'm not holding my breath
Delilah1623 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 But you are holding your breath. Time has already told. You just aren't hearing it.
Author lifeunderground Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 But you are holding your breath. Time has already told. You just aren't hearing it. Lol he's not a big impact in my life I know I'm a catch and I'm not puting my life on hold for him. Yeah I have small feelings but im not going to be devastated if it doesn't work out.
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