tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I met a girl through a mutual friend about a month ago. We went out together and had a great time, then my law school exams started and I was in lockdown mode. We continued to talk for about a month and rarely saw each other. This Saturday, she was begging me to see her, so I took a break and visited her. She was pretty hammered and ended up making out with me and we nearly had sex (all but), but she was so drunk I decided it probably wasn't a good idea since I don't know her too well and she could be crazy. The next day, she texted me apologizing for her behavior and saying she didn't even remember what all happened or anything of what she said to me. I ended up going back to her place and we hung out and watched football all afternoon (this is what she asked to do). I left to go back to the books around 4:30 Sunday afternoon and since then, I have barely heard from her. Is she backing off because I finally went to see her again? Or did I piss her off? I am probably going to leave it alone and not say anything and see if she contacts me, but it's odd she talked to me for so long while I was working and now went MIA.
ShyGuy5 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 She's been throwing herself at you. Eventually you are going to have to make a move to show her you like her. 1
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 She's been throwing herself at you. Eventually you are going to have to make a move to show her you like her. I asked her Monday night if she wanted to get together after I finished studying and she said she was busy with her sister and friends. Before this week, she was always willing to leave them to see me. I've been through plenty of relationships in the past, and whenever something like this happens, I always think it means something went wrong...
ShyGuy5 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 You're going to give up because she didn't drop everything to be with you. Come on Man. 1
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 You're going to give up because she didn't drop everything to be with you. Come on Man. No no no, I just don't want to chase her though or fall into that trap. If she isn't being real responsive, I don't want to pry into her.
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 I'm sort of in the same position as you, however, I've only made out with the girl I've been going after. She was sober, I was drunk. I say ask her out once more, if she isn't responsive, drop her. Yeah, I'll leave her alone until this weekend when my exams are over. If she's unresponsive then, I'll just drop her. I'm not going to waste my time if she's not interested anymore. 3
emva07 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 how were you during the game? Were you snuggly or were you on your side of the couch and didn't touch her? She wanted you to give her affection so she didn't feel stupid and embarrassed about the drunk episode. Whether she wants that affection because she likes you or simply to not feel stupid, that I don't know. But yes, focus on your studies, don't worry about her until you're done.
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 how were you during the game? Were you snuggly or were you on your side of the couch and didn't touch her? She wanted you to give her affection so she didn't feel stupid and embarrassed about the drunk episode. Whether she wants that affection because she likes you or simply to not feel stupid, that I don't know. But yes, focus on your studies, don't worry about her until you're done. I touched her during the game. I didn't try to have sex with her, but I didn't sit at an opposite end of the room. She seemed embarrassed by her behavior the night before and said she knows early impressions are a lot and she didn't give me her best that night. I'm not sure if she wants more affection or what. I wasn't sure if she invited me over Sunday to finish what we started Sunday or what either. She was begging me to come back over even though I only had an hour or so before I needed to meet my group to study. That's why her behavior now is odd. I either feel like she's embarrassed I didn't try to have sex with her again Sunday or what. I don't know. I don't want her to think I rejected her. I just felt it wasn't the right time to do it given her condition Saturday night...
emva07 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I either feel like she's embarrassed I didn't try to have sex with her again Sunday or what. I don't know. I don't want her to think I rejected her. I just felt it wasn't the right time to do it given her condition Saturday night... This, she feels embarrassed and rejected, the "I don't remember anything/I'm not like this" is classic "rejected" talk. Inviting you over was her way of seeing if you would try coming onto her after giving you the green light, you didn't. So her behavior has changed because why is she going to keep begging a guy that had two chances to have sex with her and blew it? To keep getting rejected? Now don't get me wrong, your reasons for not wanting it are legit, but I am just telling you her point of view.
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 This, she feels embarrassed and rejected, the "I don't remember anything/I'm not like this" is classic "rejected" talk. Inviting you over was her way of seeing if you would try coming onto her after giving you the green light, you didn't. So her behavior has changed because why is she going to keep begging a guy that had two chances to have sex with her and blew it? To keep getting rejected? Now don't get me wrong, your reasons for not wanting it are legit, but I am just telling you her point of view. Yeah, that was what I was thinking. I went over there Sunday wondering if I should come onto her, but I didn't have the time with what I had to do Sunday, so I didn't bother. I had made it clear I didn't have time to stay long though.. I didn't not touch her, but I didn't try to get her naked either. That's probably what it is, she thinks I'm not interested in hooking up so she's changing her behavior. I'm not sure what I do now. That may have been my last chance on Sunday. I can't just come out and say "hey, let's hookup tonight" or something surely.
xUnknown Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 GO FOR HER! Ask her out man. I too think the same way. But what I'm working on since my break up - is not to worry about what the other person is thinking. Do what YOU want to do because that's all that matters. If you wanna see her. Ask her out. If you don't - well then don't. But who cares what she wants or is worried about or if she's pulling back. You'll get your answer if you ask her out. She'll either agree, or tell you off - in which case you'll know it wasn't meant to happen. Ask her out and say something like, "sorry I haven't talked in a while, i've been busy studying for finals. Want to get together and ____ this weekend". the blank would be something like, get coffee, grab a bite to eat, watch a movie...not something as blatant as "****". haha. Goodluck bro! 1
emva07 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Agreed. I'm in my mid 20s and I have adopted the mentality of going fr what you want. If you like me great. If not, on to the next. Life is too short for all these games I read about on here and that I've been guiltyof myself. She took a chance , had to be drunk to take it , but nonetheless she jumped. Now you. 1
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 I'll call her and see if she wants to watch a movie Saturday night then. I'll be unwinding all weekend so I doubt I will want to do much more. She is also leaving to go home for the holidays soon. If she says no to Saturday and offers no alternative, its on to the next one. 1
Author tart6245 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Yeah, I don't think this is happening. I asked her if she would get together this weekend with me for a movie on Saturday and she said she had friends coming in until Sunday or Monday and didn't offer any other day. I asked her if she was leaving right after that, since she leaves on the 18th for home, so I assume she's going to have to pack the rest of the time. I haven't' heard back from her yet, but I think it's time to drop this one for whatever reason. Very strange.
Author tart6245 Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 She said she wanted to hang out before she left, but her "friend" is staying till Tuesday or Wednesday which is, surprise, the day she plans to leave to go home. She's been checking in on Facebook all week with in town friends but no sign of someone from out of town, so I'm pretty sure she's lying about a "friend" visiting. I told her to have a nice holiday and left it at that. It's pretty clear she isn't interested in hanging out anymore. I plan to block her on social media and move on to the next one. She could at least make an effort if she actually cared. If she is mad I didn't sleep with her last weekend, so be it. I have no regrets about that.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 She said she wanted to hang out before she left, but her "friend" is staying till Tuesday or Wednesday which is, surprise, the day she plans to leave to go home. She's been checking in on Facebook all week with in town friends but no sign of someone from out of town, so I'm pretty sure she's lying about a "friend" visiting. I told her to have a nice holiday and left it at that. It's pretty clear she isn't interested in hanging out anymore. I plan to block her on social media and move on to the next one. She could at least make an effort if she actually cared. If she is mad I didn't sleep with her last weekend, so be it. I have no regrets about that. This is the point, I think. She doesn't care as much as she once did. You're wise to move on. It may have nothing to do with not sleeping with her, by the way. There could be several other factors that aren't connected to you directly.
Author tart6245 Posted December 16, 2013 Author Posted December 16, 2013 That's true. I don't know what it is. I'm kind of pissed only because I made time for her twice during my law exams, and now that they're over, she can't do anything for me. She had threatened to stop talking to me if I didn't see her during them for god's sake. She keeps insisting we're fine and she's busy with her friend, but we aren't find and I'm not sure why she doesn't just say she doesn't want to talk anymore so we can both stop wasting each other's time.
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