freebird31 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I just wonder if they think of us or reminisce on the memories like we do sometimes....Its been 3 months since weve last talked. and there are still times when he comes to mind. i wonder if we ever cross their mind? There were so many memories and so much happiness, i would think that it would be hard to just forget it all. or pretend like none of it ever happened. i just wonder...
RDawg Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 They do. Initially they think happy thoughts of relief and pride at having ended a dead end relationship with somone that they are quite happy to never hear from again..
notthathard Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Yep for sure they do. Maybe at some point if you were the dumpee the dumper might contact you. But as everyone says it will probably be so far down the line that they wont matter anymore.
Author freebird31 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Yea. That's what I think too. I don't think it matters who ended it, i don't think it's humanly possible either way to just erase someone. Especially someone who you shared so much happiness with.
notthathard Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Yea. That's what I think too. I don't think it matters who ended it, i don't think it's humanly possible either way to just erase someone. Especially someone who you shared so much happiness with. Agreed, the dumper usually gives up first then the dumpee is stuck with the shock. So I think the dumper has an easy time forgetting the happiness in the short term, which then might return later in life. 1
KelC411 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I just wonder if they think of us or reminisce on the memories like we do sometimes....Its been 3 months since weve last talked. and there are still times when he comes to mind. i wonder if we ever cross their mind? There were so many memories and so much happiness, i would think that it would be hard to just forget it all. or pretend like none of it ever happened. i just wonder... I am sure they do. Even if it is not intentional, you cannot have a close relationship with someone and then wipe it from your brain. Somewhere in there that wiring is still sending out messages, at least for a while. Now, like others have said, it may be relieved thoughts at first, but I hold out hope that at some point they probably miss us and wonder if they made a mistake (even if it is just a fleeting thought). Even if they find someone "better," that person is not the same as us and is bound to draw comparisons, good and bad, at some point. But I am a heartbroken mess, so take my opinion with a grain of salt
Just smile Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I'd like to think so. I can't imagine how they can't. I've invested five years of my life with this person, which makes it unimaginable how they can just not contact. Or not think of us.
organizedchaos Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Well of course they remember. They may not dwell on it everyday but it will happen. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It's human nature to remember the past. Thinking about an EX doesn't mean they want to get back together though.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) I just wonder if they think of us or reminisce on the memories like we do sometimes....Its been 3 months since weve last talked. and there are still times when he comes to mind. i wonder if we ever cross their mind? There were so many memories and so much happiness, i would think that it would be hard to just forget it all. or pretend like none of it ever happened. i just wonder... I think about this too and last night I caved in and checked her Twitter. It's three months for me too and my ex has Tweeted about me twice recently. She said she misses me and misses spending time together but she's never getting back with me. Last week she said everytime she misses me she remembers the douchey things I used to say. These are all twilight hour tweets so they must think about us late at night, I don't think it means anything that late, they just miss us but don't want us. The next morning she Tweeted that I turned up in her dream and she gave me a second chance but I hadn't changed my ways so she ended it for good. She said her brain sorted that problem out for her and reminded her why she left in the first place. She also Tweeted that it's a shame I was so vile towards her sometimes because otherwise I was pretty perfect for her. Forever Alone. It just shows on much we are on a different page right now. I did say some douchey things to her like "you have clown hair" when she dip dyed it. Of course nothing is as it seems though and to her that must of hurt a lot but to me it was a light joke. I don't understand where VILE comes from, I was not vile that's an exaggeration coming from her wall of defense against me that's in her head. She seems to like posting about me in a really negative light, others must think I'm a total dick. She still hasn't given any reasons it's all generic it could mean anything. She never mentioned this when she broke up with me she gave me very different reasons, mostly about her not me. They might miss us but remember they broke up with us for a reason and all they have to do is think about that reason(s) to avoid wanting us back. She said she misses me but she's never getting back with me, so there you have it, straight from a dumpers mouth. They don't forget but they move on and we have to as well because we too have our own reason to move on. They broke up with us, they wanted the easy way out rather than talk and fight for us. Let's find someone who would fight for us or at least give us a second chance. We were probably committed to the relationship. We would have stuck it out through good and through bad, and worked a way through the problems we had together. Someone who is committed to you will do exactly that, no excuses. And we're definitely worth a partner who is equally committed to the relationship. I have to keep reminding myself about that too . Isn't that a good enough reason to move on? Edited December 11, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa 1
Coping Vortex Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Yes I can vouch that they do think of us. I know for a fact. But as someone said above that does not mean they want to get back. My ex would time to time send me a text saying something reminded her of us. A place, a name, a feeling. All means nothing. When we did talk once again, even though she had mentioned past good times, she actually got angry with me and went off on me. This was after a lot of time had gone by. So even though she did think of me, the anger or hurt for whatever reason is still there. And is the roadblock preventing ever getting back. Even when there is no reason to hate you, I think dumpers invent a cause to try to get over you too. But yes the memories remain. Just not enough to build anything on. Its crushing for us dumpees. Torture......
Softie Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Yes most do think of us. A lot miss us. Some will regret. Some are just too stubborn to do anything about it.
ponchsox Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Yes, they miss whatever they got out of us that they wanted but somehow they are able to convince themselves they made the right decision so they don't feel like they made a mistake.
Author freebird31 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Yes most do think of us. A lot miss us. Some will regret. Some are just too stubborn to do anything about it. I agree. Some are just very stubborn to do anything about it. i think that has a lot to do with immaturity too, though.
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