sportzhl24 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 My gf of 7 months dumped me 4 months ago. I tried to get her back but she blew me off. I was not exactly the best boyfriend but I loved and cared for her so much, and did everything I could with my limited relationship and personal skills to keep her happy. She was not happy and bailed on me. She said I was smothering her and that she felt like she had to be happy for the both of us. She told me she's not a very good person, to which I responded that shes the most incredible girl in the world. I was very cool to her throughout the breakup, almost too nice/cool, which I always regret. I should have fought harder and been more aggressive. 4 months later, she continues to occupy almost every thought of mine. I cannot seem to prevent myself from thinking about all the silly mistakes I made. I've had little control over what I picture in my head, which is mostly how hot she is, all the dudes she's banging, all the fun and happiness she has, what she's telling people about me, etc. I constantly fantasize and obsess over all of this. I have been given a ton of advice but nothing seems to work. I'm in so much pain. I know it is selfish of me to wallow over a woman while so many people in the world are suffering under heavier blights, but I still feel totally ****ed in the head about all this. I have come close to offing myself a couple times just to be free from all this pain and guilt. I so desperately want to be free. I just want control again. Can anybody who has been in a similar situation, or knows anything about this help me out? Con amore, Harry
ks0985 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It just takes time, some people heal quicker then others it does get better trust me
Trick1004 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Harry, It's rough, we've all been there. The first couple months for me were absolute torture, I honestly don't remember much of it. When I was able to sleep, the dreams I had were horrible. It's a traumatic experience and it's gonna take time to get it out of your system. Keep reading and posting here and seeing a therapist can be helpful too. You were fine before the ex, you'll be fine again. Trick 2
Author sportzhl24 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Harry, It's rough, we've all been there. The first couple months for me were absolute torture, I honestly don't remember much of it. When I was able to sleep, the dreams I had were horrible. It's a traumatic experience and it's gonna take time to get it out of your system. Keep reading and posting here and seeing a therapist can be helpful too. You were fine before the ex, you'll be fine again. Trick I know it's inevitable that I'll feel better eventually. It's just that I often feel worse than I did say, a week or a month ago. Which scares the crap out of me. But thanks, that helps. I just cant get past the feeling that shes waiting for me to contact her. Like we're meant for each other or something. But I know sticking to NC is best
Trick1004 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 How do you feel now compared to three or four months ago? It helped me during this process to compare where I'm at now with the initial bu. It's hard to notice if you don't keep some perspective. I also had a couple week spells about where you are now where I felt like complete ****. Those feelings are going to hit you but I found they aren't as deep or long-lasting as during the initial stages. Hang in there, it will get better. Trick
Author sportzhl24 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 How do you feel now compared to three or four months ago? It helped me during this process to compare where I'm at now with the initial bu. It's hard to notice if you don't keep some perspective. I also had a couple week spells about where you are now where I felt like complete ****. Those feelings are going to hit you but I found they aren't as deep or long-lasting as during the initial stages. Hang in there, it will get better. Trick Thanks trick. I think in general I have a better grasp of things than I had 3 months ago, but I still have some pretty terrible days every now and then. Emotional pain is really intense. Honestly I would much rather have physical pain inflicted than dealing with all this bs. I'm glad there are so many people on this site that can relate. Thanks
StyleOnEm Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Although some people might not recommend it, I think you should open up an Okcupid account and start chatting girls up. The biggest void you have right now is a girl in your life. That's exactly how I was able to move on from my past breakups quicker, by meeting and going out/dating other girls. Sure, you're going to compare them to your ex and might end up feeling worse, but eventually you'll meet a great girl who you'll make new memories with, and that's really key. making new memories so the old ones can start to fade away. It'll be a bumpy process with two steps forward, one step back.. but eventually you'll get the hang of it and move on.
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