So...here's a brief story...

[365daysgone]

So long story short, I started exploring a relationship with a 40 year old woman and I am 14 years younger than her. I am a virgin. She started sex one night and I stopped it cause I didn't know her well at the time - which is the truth. Then I started it the next time and was on top of her for like 10 minutes waiting for her to take control. She didn't so I got off of her. Then she asked if I was trying to go further and I said yes. She leaves the room and comes back. Starts it, takes her pants off and gets on top of me. I had went limp and was embarrassed so I stopped it. She was clearly mad.

 

The next time, we had the house to ourselves so I started it. She stops it claiming she was in menopause or some ****. I don't even know what she was actually talking about with her reasoning. Then by the time we get to the fourth and final time a week later, she had told me in text messages that she was dying to have sex with me. So the fourth time she starts it and is insanely aggressive, takes her top off, then I'm on top of her and...I stop it.

 

My reasoning is that over the past few months I have become so emotional and interested in learning about people that I have zero interest in sex. So much to the point that I have a hard time even getting it up. That final time, I have this incredible looking woman on top of me and zero blood flow down below. It was totally embarrassing. I don't want my pants to come off and have this tiny limp thing hanging there.

 

Anyways, this was a few weeks ago. She ended it that night. She knew my little experience and has tried nearly every sexual thing in her life. Did I miss the opportunity of a lifetime? These four times happened over the course of a month. We had a ton of feeling for each other too. But to be honest, the fact that she knew I was a virgin made me feel weird too. I hated the idea of that. It concerned me everytime we started. And she didn't believe my final reasoning when we talked through text afterwards. I bet any money she thought I found her unattractive as she had said that to me so many times before...probably low self esteem. Anyways. Thought I'd share this.

[365daysgone]

woof!

 

stupid woman.

she definitely doesn't have the experience she led you to think she has.

no confidence, either.

 

as a cougar, i would love to sink my teeth & claws into her.

 

menopause? don't think so.

she's just a nutjob.

 

do not put up with anyone shaming you in this vulnerable position.

 

you aren't the one with the problem.

 

i'm sorry this happened to you.

 

 

j

Really? You think she is to blame? The second time she wasn't sure if I was ready so I think that's why she didn't do it. Also, I did see pills that said menopause on the bottle at her house one time.

[MalachiX]

Sounds like you don't really know what you want. I don't think you should beat yourself up but you need to figure out your priorities. You seem to act like you want to stop being a virgin but you expect her to do all the work and then rebuff her advances when you get insecure.