MoveAlong Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It's my 44th day of NC, and I am not sure what happened, but I feel terrible right now. I miss her, and am fighting back my emotions. I'm committed to NC, but damn do I want to throw that hail mary right now. The probability of completion is actually greater when you are farther back on the field; I suppose distance here is similar to time. Aside from the digression, I actually feel some serious pain right now. I can't help but wonder wtf she is thinking about right now...it's that stupid point in the day when I ask the questions I should have no interest in...especially since they cannot be answered. Part of the reason I feel emotionally weak is because I have a ton of work to do at the moment. When I have to perform and deliver on deadlines, I always think about her. But when I am relaxed, exercising or with friends, non of this happens. I really don't have a main point to this thread; I just wanted to share what's going on inside my head, and/or heart.
Am4Real Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Let's both take a deep breath together and look forward to DAY 45. Be strong, you can do it. 2
BC1980 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It is normal to feel like breaking NC at this time. I had a mini-breakdown of sorts around month two. The reality is setting in, and you are being forced to face it. You can get through this, but don't break NC. The aftermath of breaking NC will be far worse than what you are feeling right now. 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I'm the same timeline as you. I don't know about you but I'm doing a lot of back and forthing. Like one day I feel okay, the next angry, the next sad. It's awful! But like mentioned above, the reality for us at this timeline is starting to set in It's really scary at times. I know how you feel but we have come this far. Imagine how much stronger we'll be in another 45 days. Stay strong my friend 2
Author MoveAlong Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Let's both take a deep breath together and look forward to DAY 45. Be strong, you can do it. Haha, thanks! For some reason, this was both motivational and amusing. It is normal to feel like breaking NC at this time. I had a mini-breakdown of sorts around month two. The reality is setting in, and you are being forced to face it. You can get through this, but don't break NC. The aftermath of breaking NC will be far worse than what you are feeling right now. I agree, I think reality is definitely setting in. I'm feeling better for sure. I just randomly felt a wave of emotion beyond the normal tides. I'm not breaking going to NC unless something significant happens. You guys will be the first to know if something comes up. And, big thanks! This helps a lot.
Author MoveAlong Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 I'm the same timeline as you. I don't know about you but I'm doing a lot of back and forthing. Like one day I feel okay, the next angry, the next sad. It's awful! But like mentioned above, the reality for us at this timeline is starting to set in It's really scary at times. I know how you feel but we have come this far. Imagine how much stronger we'll be in another 45 days. Stay strong my friend You have helped me a lot along the way! But yes, each day, I go back and forth. I'm functioning much better though. I've been switching between, "hmmm, not bad. Life is okay", and "fml, wtf is going on..." I really need motivation this week! I wish we could all sit in a circle with our metal chairs. In my head, that's what's happening when I come onto the site. I appreciate the support!! 1
Author MoveAlong Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 Stop counting the days of NC. That's actually a really good point. I'm not actively counting, but I just know how long it's been. The only plus side is that once I got past 4 weeks, I didn't feel like contacting her because I didn't want to taint my record of days. 1
LostConfused123 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 That's actually a really good point. I'm not actively counting, but I just know how long it's been. The only plus side is that once I got past 4 weeks, I didn't feel like contacting her because I didn't want to taint my record of days. Haha! me too. 4 weeks for me seemed like a miracle. I thought there is absolutely no way I will contact now. I felt like if I can get through 4 weeks, I can get through ANYTHING now! I mean I still have my weak moments but I'm not afraid I'll break NC anymore. At least I hope I'll never be that stupid!!! Not calling anyone stupid that broke NC I just mean I have done it before and in my case. . . STUPID!!
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