Dinozzo925 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Hi all, So I've been heading out to bars recently and I feel like I'm really under-cutting myself. I just turned 21 so I'm new to the bar/club scene. I am usually pretty ok with women, feel comfortable talking to them and confident. But I'm much more used to the slow pace of high school/college dating, where you have a lot more time to think, plan and prepare. In bars I just can't seem to approach someone. I don't know what to say, or how to act, or whats accepted and not accepted. I know I'm getting in my own way because I'm the one who gets approached. Every couple of times I go out I end up being the one that gets picked up. I know this sounds like bragging/whining, but I really feel like if I could actually approach a girl instead of waiting to be approached it would make my nights more worthwhile. Thnx, D
fixing Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 If your a smoker, and she is too, smoking rooms are perfect places to talk to a girl. Be polite and ask for a light, and that is always conversation starter! For non smokers... If its in a club and you see a girl that you like on the dancefloor, just casually and jokingly pull a few cool dance moves right in front of her and laugh smile at her. Dont be nervous, if she smiles and gives you a little jiggle back then continue it on and offer her a drink. Go to the bar and chat with her! There's always those other little conversation starters to like 'Hey, what times this place shut?' Or 'You know of any clubs that do House/techno or whatever' and keep the conversation going. Its all about breaking that initial ice. You'll be fine, just be nice and confident! Good luck
ShyGuy5 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 You're still pulling without having to approach, sounds like you are doing quite well for yourself 1
Author Dinozzo925 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 If your a smoker, and she is too, smoking rooms are perfect places to talk to a girl. Be polite and ask for a light, and that is always conversation starter! For non smokers... If its in a club and you see a girl that you like on the dancefloor, just casually and jokingly pull a few cool dance moves right in front of her and laugh smile at her. Dont be nervous, if she smiles and gives you a little jiggle back then continue it on and offer her a drink. Go to the bar and chat with her! There's always those other little conversation starters to like 'Hey, what times this place shut?' Or 'You know of any clubs that do House/techno or whatever' and keep the conversation going. Its all about breaking that initial ice. You'll be fine, just be nice and confident! Good luck It's funny, at first I used to bring cigs with me but no light so I had an excuse to ask for one. Found that I never could snowball the conversation.
Author Dinozzo925 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 You're still pulling without having to approach, sounds like you are doing quite well for yourself Yeah, but I could do better if I initiated.
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Reflect on what the women who approach you do. Then take that & approach women in a similar way. Saying hello or asking a women to dance is always an easy approach. Commenting on something going on around you works. Say something about the music or the game on TV. Simply smiling is always a good idea.
zebracolors Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 As a woman I'll give my view based on personal experience at dance clubs. I always appreciate confidence from a guy who was clearly confident enough to approach me, whether I find him attractive or not. and I like friendly, situational conversation, but thats just me. Her expression and body language can tell you if she wants to continue conversation with you. If I do find said guy attractive I'll show it through expression, or if we're dancing, through dance. So it really is situational and dependent on who you approach IMO 1
StanMusial Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 Just walk up to her and ask her name. Or ask her to dance. If I couldn't come up with anything else based on the current situation that's what I used to do. If you think it over too much or try to wait for the perfect moment, you've already lost the game.
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