Augustus64 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Together for five years 18-23 off and on. more highs than lows. when it was high it was HIGH when it was low it was LOWW. we would fight like cats and dogs sometimes in public. dated through out college I cheated on her twice once when i was 18 then again at 23 both nights drunk and regretted it instantly. Got back together after the first time (obviously) but not after the second time as i felt it was not fair to her and i needed to grow up. During our relationship the trust fluctuated. she would often hack my facebook and emails. we would get into big arguments where if she got upset enough she would post status' saying Im gay and have come out the closet. a little history on her she was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and that also at times made our relationship challenging as her feelings because i really cared for her became mine. not to mention at that age i really had no idea in understanding what she was going through. she cut herself before and that devastated me. she would often scream out saying she wanted to die. anxiety attacks cursing her mom out it was tough. things she's done to me - try to run me over - throw a glass bottle at me -punch me in the face multiple times -fake a pregnancy -send 125 text then break into my house while im asleep -tell me out of spite that my mom who is sick would die in 5 years -break things -hack my accounts - try to convince me one of my friends is a sociopath -slept w one of my friends im no saint either i cheated on her and betrayed her. i believed we really loved one another but through the process of growing and it being our first relationship mistakes were made. after school we broke up agreeing we both need to grow and hopefully we can find a way back to each other. we would talk all he time throughout our relationship about kids and marriage one day and soulmates and so forth we really had an intrinsic understanding of one another something i havent felt before, shes really a sweet girl. 2 years later after NC in intervals of about 5 months but throughout this time she would send me quotes about soulmates and told me she became really superstitious walking the long way home shutting the lights 5 times and praying and hoping i would come back into her life but i just wasn't ready my heart hadn't healed and my mind needed to grow i didnt tell her that because i didnt want to string her along thats not fair. i found out she had a boyfriend 5 months ago but didnt freak until 5 months later im on fb and i see pictures of them. i freaked sent her a letter and mom flowers. She replied saying she is building a life with this new guy and they've been dating for 6 months that i should leave her be, i have. what do i do? im having a bit of a hard time.
Insanityisdoingsame Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Bro your story saddens me, because I can relate and my story is somewhat similar. Here : Coping - LoveShack.org Community Forums I too cheated on my GF. Only 1x but even then it was once too many. And out of spite and revenge she cheated on me too. Once you guys cross the line, abd their is doubt, lies , and deceit in the relationship. It is pretty much broken and almost impossible to fix. Let me tell you something, we can not change how/what they think of us. Because women are very peculiar, once they make up their mind its next to impossible to change. For your own sanity and to protect your dignity please delete her number and go NC. Go NC as soon as possible and don't make the same mistakes I did. Now I have to live with yet another murder of our unborn child over my soul. Best of luck to you bro. Stay strong.
Author Augustus64 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 You should check out my complete story bro then tell me what you think. but thanks for your words. i read your story i truly feel for you that was a tough, tough situation to be in but you tried to make things right so you shouldn't be so hard on yourself your young and your human. Your ex was a saint compared to mine tho i mean your girl texted you things like "you made her sick" mines would say things like "I hope you and your whole family dies" and this wasn't even when i cheated on her this was like if we happened to get into a fight and id ignore it cause i didn't want the drama. my girl pushed me down a flight of stairs bro. And the false pregnancy i felt like a dodged a bullet cause for sure she would have had me by the balls and made my life hell for YEARS. our relationship was never healthy because she was mentally unstable in a serious way and i was young. I just want to break this soul tie and get her completely out of my head. I think you should move on from her tho its just going to get worse man. My friends once told me that they wouldn't be surprised if my ex killed me one day thats how toxic it was and i see it building that way in your case if you keep at it. just get your self together keep your mind right and dont look back. 1
Insanityisdoingsame Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 What there"s more to this? And it sounds like we might have both dodged the bullet. Mine because its not my choice and she is willing to cut ties all ties with me ,including deleting the baby. You because your lucky it was false and not real pregnancy. If we were going to be stuck with these women in our lives for another 18 years it would have brought us nothing but misery. Sounds like we both have women who have lost all respect for us and the relationship. If theres one thing Ive learned from this past relationship then this is it. If there is no respect from both partners then there can not be a healthy relationship. You sound like your around my age. Sometimes I feel old, only 25 though and Im guessing your 22-25. We have the rest of our lives ahead of us. Although its been painful, we should be grateful to be taught these valuable lessons in life. Now we know how to behave, and what we like or dislike in a women for our next relationship. For now just do work bro and everything will get better eventually. Sometimes I pray that she will change her mind. However it feels like she won"t ever change. Whenever your feeling depressed from thinking too much about her or feel like your prayers are not being answered. Just remember. Some of Gods greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers.
Author Augustus64 Posted December 11, 2013 Author Posted December 11, 2013 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/446724-thoughts-ex-gf Thats my whole story bro. It would have been absolute HELL for years man just draining i get headaches just imagining what that would have been like. I would have felt ruined. Your right tho Respect or rather the lack of it is what ruined our relationship. hurt people, hurt people and soon enough that line of things you absolutely should not do or say gets crossed repeatedly. It gets ugly. Ive learned my lesson from this for sure. i think when your attached for so long and you invest so much into a person because you see potential, you hope your partner evolves as you have and eventually you could start fresh and live happily ever after, i squashed that its unrealistic given the carnage. I use to think she was the one but really she was probably more so a bridge to get me to a better place for me to grow and become a great man. I am your age bro, 25. And like you i feel old but i think its large in part due to my relationship it gave me some earned wisdom and aged me a bit I'm probably closer to forty lol. like you said i know what works and what doesn't now and exactly the type of women to look for and build with. You like I have a soul tie with this woman that needs to be broken so you can heal. You gotta squash all hope. not sure how spiritual you are but since you mentioned prayer i'll send you a link to a video that may help.
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