SameOldFear Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I know it was my ex's fault for allowing it to happen. But how can I deal with being angry that he left me for her? It's worse too, because me and my friends (who were also her friends) introduced him to her. One of my friends was letting the other girl live with her for awhile but then she was always starting drama, so she got kicked out (she now lives with my ex). There were never any fights in my group of friends until she moved here. He's not even friends with my friends anymore, when he's known them for three years and her for three months. It's like she completely brainwashed him into thinking we're all bad people.
KelC411 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I hear ya! I know it is my ex's fault to have emotionally cheated on me with (and then left me for) this girl. But I cant help but feel pissed at her too. I mean, how can you feel ok about yourself knowing the guy you are with was just with someone else and was with them when you started "connecting?!" I think I would feel weird about that. But Im sure my ex is lying and saying we were over for a long time, etc. I guess we should feel bad for these girls since they are starting their relationships based on lies and fickleness. But right now, it is hard not to hate her.
d0nnivain Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Anger is a stage of grief & healing. It will pass. You can be angry. It's a legitimate emotion. Feel it & experience it but don't act on it. 1
love1336x Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 oh my gosh! that would totally boiled my blood! I wasnt angry at the other girl until I asked, "did she know about me?" once he said yes. it was double anger. it took me a good year to let it go. its okay to hate. its part of the healing process. you can't let it consume you and blind you because you have better things to do and feel vs caring about these fools! here are the things that can happen they can get married and live happily ever after (doubtful) or they will break up and he will try to come back to you. many, many, outcomes. but for now worry about you. I know its easier said than done but it can happen with time and persisted. 1
radiodarcy Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Ugh - - my ex made sure there were a lot of other girls for me to hate. And this was when we were together. No I don't mean cheating (although I highly suspect he was sleeping with other girls as well, even though I can't prove it) But he was always talking about how he was still in love with girls he had dated (including his ex-wife). One of the girls (who he dated before me and referred to as the only girl he ever loved - - ouch!) actually wound up working in the same company I did. And even worked on the same floor as me! She never knew my name. But I knew hers and stalked her profile on the company's internal network. Until I realized that she could see who had visited her profile But yeah-- she was always so nice to me when she saw me in the halls and I just HATED her. Because he loved her and not me. It took me awhile to let that one go...
lop98 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 time and strictly blocking your sources of information or exposure to her face... it takes a long time but it does get easier.
stillafool Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I would thank God he wasn't friends with my friends anymore. You wouldn't want him and the new girl hanging out with your friends would you? Of course not, it would be toooooo uncomfortable. You have every right to be angry with them though as this will help with your healing.
Author SameOldFear Posted December 12, 2013 Author Posted December 12, 2013 Ugh - - my ex made sure there were a lot of other girls for me to hate. And this was when we were together. No I don't mean cheating (although I highly suspect he was sleeping with other girls as well, even though I can't prove it) But he was always talking about how he was still in love with girls he had dated (including his ex-wife). One of the girls (who he dated before me and referred to as the only girl he ever loved - - ouch!) actually wound up working in the same company I did. And even worked on the same floor as me! She never knew my name. But I knew hers and stalked her profile on the company's internal network. Until I realized that she could see who had visited her profile But yeah-- she was always so nice to me when she saw me in the halls and I just HATED her. Because he loved her and not me. It took me awhile to let that one go... That sounds awful! He sounds like he was a terrible boyfriend. I would be so mad if that happened to me. time and strictly blocking your sources of information or exposure to her face... it takes a long time but it does get easier. I should've listened to this. I haven't talked to him or her in 12 days, but I just now broke and looked at her Facebook. She posted one of those "Five Things You Didn't Know Me and My Boyfriend" and I read it and he's doing everything we had planned to do when we turned 18 with her. I don't know why it's so addicting to make myself feel miserable like that. I'm definitely following your advice from now on.
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